What do I eat when I’m dying?

[Okitsme]

I’ve just been given weeks to live.
I’ve found it very hard to eat for the last couple of weeks and am forcing myself to eat a certain number of mouthfuls while in hospital.
If you have looked after anyone in this situation what things did they like?
I loved food and cooking

My aunt drank milkshakes- strawberry was her favourite.

Big gentle hug for you.

I’m so sorry.

My father: soup and grape juice

My mother: ice cream and Chardonnay (tiny sips all day long)

We were surprised, because their tastes completely changed.

@Okitsme this is really hard, I’m so sorry. I don’t have experience but wanted to give you a hug and wish you strength.

No advice OK but sending hugs and love. 🫂

I knew someone who ate mild dahl when feeling nauseous after cheno

My cousin ate small portions of shepherd's pie as it was easy to eat

My DM lost her appetite completely

Hope you are geing well looked after

as weird as it sounds you need weed.People add it to the food of the dying it helps with poor appetite .You soak it first before cooking so for example if someone was to make brownies you soak in melted butter

So sorry
My husband had jelly pots, yoghurts, warm custard. He also tried fortisip and fortijuice. Just small portions of whatever he fancied at the time. You could try scrambled egg and mash potato with cheese.
Sending hugs

Thank you so very much for your replies. What brilliant ideas. I’m going for things I’ve not allowed myself over the past few months. I had no idea there was anything wrong until Mothering Sunday and then used nutrition to try a get control. I was the chemo poster girl and I think I clawed back about 5 weeks but I was sooo strict with what I ate.
I’m going home today, my sons and daughters in law are arriving this afternoon and I am going to concentrate on joy and gratitude along with weak spritzers (?), smoked salmon, soft fruit - but not bananas- and homemade soup that my husband is going to learn to make!
Thank you all for your best wishes as well. I am fine with it, it’s the pain it causes others that is hard to bear. Xx

I'm so sorry OP. The only thing I can add is don't feel guilty about food waste - if you want to open a bag of crisps just to smell it or have a tiny taste, that's OK - same with anything, even a meal. In the scheme of things it doesn't matter. The important thing is to give yourself some sensory pleasure, even if consuming the food in any quantity doesn't appeal.

I would look at really good quality ice creams if that's something you like - they can be nice to nibble on a tiny spoon at a time and very calorie dense. And good squash/cordial as @Tortielady has said, so keeping hydrated becomes a pleasure in itself. Sending love and a handhold, @Okitsme .

I lost my friend recently. He was a huge foodie and brilliant cook and had a very sweet tooth. His tastes totally changed and his appetite all but disappeared. I made him easy to shovel in food to try and up his calories - he liked dahl and got it in although it’s not hugely calorific he did manage to enjoy small amounts and he would eat ginger cake and I made proper custard with egg yolks and cream. Ice cream, milk, and milkshakes were a big feature at the end. There was a booze trolley in the hospice but he stuck with milk. It’s really hard to eat when you don’t feel like it which I guess I why lots of people have the complan/fortisip type drinks so they are getting nutrition.

I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in January and had a tumour the size of a Mellon removed. The odds are 50/50 at two years.
I have little appetite so I eat whatever I like.
If I'm poorly I eat rice pudding and crisps.
I do like those ice creams pots from hagen Dazz. Not too much.

You might think this is tosh but I believe our family walks among us. I see spirits I think but who knows? It gives me comfort and I believe I'll see my family again. Much peace to you

My dad had smaller portions of food from his childhood. He lost his appetite a few months before he died but still fancied steam puddings with custard, liver and bacon, etc. He also had the thick tinned milk (evap or condensed?) in his coffee and a biscuit or two with every cup for the extra calories.

Sending you love 💐

My dad ate whatever he fancied. I'm so sorry and I hope your journey is painless and peaceful. God bless you 🙏 I'm sorry I'm not sure what to say I hope I haven't upset you.

So sorry you're dealing with this.

My dad was on 'end of life' for just over a year.

I made several small portions of plain risotto which we could then add different flavours to - a spoon of pesto, sundried tomato paste and extra cheese, nduja paste etc. Otherwise tried to do small portions of his favourite meals - you can get foil trays about half the size of usual small takeaway ones if anyone in your family is up for some batch cooking).

Finger foods were good - he didn't manage Christmas dinner that year but enjoyed some tiny cubes of cheese and fruit cake and shot glass of wine on Boxing Day.

Having never had a sweet tooth, he also became really fond of macarons, chocolate buttons, fruit jellies and butterscotch angel delight!

I hope that the next few weeks are full of peace and love for you and your family.

My father went for tinned beef consommé and lobster bisque! He was a foodie too 😊

my very best wishes to you and your family OP

Some great ideas and suggestions here. Just posting to echo all the support and to wish you peace and love. You sound incredibly brave.

Hi OP
Sorry you are going through this. Sending love and hope you have lovely times with family close.

If you can manage alcohol, there's a lovely chocolate liqueur called mozart. It's delicious 😋 you could even put it over ice cream.
Glacé cherries 🍒 as a treat.
Get a block of marzipan and cut some off when you fancy it.
And some space cakes if you can get someone to make them.

Putting virtual arms around you.

Both my darling Dad and dearest best friend enjoyed a lobster bisque from Waitrose if I remember rightly. And also ice chips.

Sending you love xx

I really would not recommend going through the discomfort of a ng tube.

To what end?

Hello OP, I’m trying and failing to remember what my mum fancied at that stage.
What I do remember is how her being relatively at peace with things made just a huge difference to our ability to cope. It sounds like you’re able to give your family that same gift, and I’m wishing you lovely moments together 💐
And you can’t beat ice cream surely…

Cold things seem to go down better - hence ice cream being popular. Small and whatever appeals in the moment. Chambord liqueur is nice. Maybe the little jars of baby food with salt added for flavour as they are nutritious and easy to prepare.

Was just saying it's possible to use those for fortisip, as my mum managed with one for 4 months. But I guess thanks for making things weird.

I have very few words-I am so sorry and hope you have some joy and comfort in your final days with your family. I know this journey comes to us all but it’s hard on loved ones. Don’t worry about nutrition at this stage-just focus on anything which will give you some pleasure. Ice cream? Chocolate? If you have no appetite, don’t force it. Big hug.

Precious times ahead to share with your close family

ice cream was the only thing my mum wanted eventually

sending hugs

When my Nan was dying I made her leek and potato soup, very creamy at her request, she also love peaches, towards the end she couldn't eat, throat cancer, but liked the smell of food.