period came unexpectedly and new man coming round today - help me word message

[OrangeSmoke]

I'm seeing a guy today, third date. It's very early days but I like him although possibly more as a friends with benefits type thing - I'm a lone parent and work full time so not looking for anything serious. I'm not sure yet.

We had sex on the last date and have both alluded to it this time around, I'm in peri and my cycle is usually still regular but my period has arrived a full two weeks early this morning. (I'm so pissed off but that's by the by).

He's not pushy at all but having mutually set up the expectation of sex I feel I need to tell him in advance. I'm still up for it but don't want him to feel pressured himself as I know not all guys are going to want that. Help me word this!

I've never slept with a man who would've been put off by a period.

So just say, 'I'm well up for it if you are. I'm on my period, which actually makes sex really pleasurable for me, so hope you don't mind a bit of mess?'

Me personally I'd find it a real turn off if a man didn't want to do it while I was menstruating. Period sex is amazing!

But each to their own and it's right you shouldn't pressure him if he does find it awkward.

Same! Maybe it depends on how heavy your flow is. I don’t find periods gross, but I do find the idea of me and DH and our sheets and mattress all being covered in my menstrual blood pretty gross.

It has happened a couple of times when my period has started in the night and I haven’t noticed, and there was a fair amount of cleaning up to do which is a bit of a passion-killer. My periods don’t last long, so honestly skipping sex for a couple of days isn’t a massive hardship.

I'm not sure what this is yet. I'm probably most open to a FWB type relationship myself. Not ruling out it becoming something more, but I have a lot going on in my life and wasn't looking for a relationship. So I suppose I was happy enough with it just being sex and we're potentially using each other equally 😂 I would have been a bit disappointed but not offended if he'd cancelled, I suppose I would have known his intentions then. This is what I was saying above - I wanted to keep it light and casual for now but this made it a bit awkward.

“Tell Little Hitler the Red Army’s out in force.”

Or- Phone him up and sing “There’s Blood on the Saddle” to him.

Why does period automatically = no sex?

OK, I'll ask.

What exactly are the practicalities if you do have sex on your period? Doesn't it look like someone's been murdered in your bed?!

@ItsAWonderfulLifeforMe sex during period is really bad for a woman’s health too (I’ve read somewhere)

The very rare few times I’ve had sex during my period- the after pains have been quite bad so I don’t do it anymore. I wonder if this is the case for other women as I’ve never asked anyone IRL? 🤷‍♀️

sex during period is really bad for a woman’s health too (I’ve read somewhere)

Er, I don't know where you read that, but it's total bullshit. It's perfectly safe to have sex during your period. Not remotely harmful. Obviously if you find it uncomfortable or it makes your cramps worse, don't do it, but it's not bad for you. Some women find it actually eases period pains.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm on the blob
Okay with you?

Indeed. I'm in my 60s and my 9 years younger brother has talked to me about periods (he has daughters and wanted advice when they were young teens).

Yes it does! And it looks like you and your partner are the culprits 🤣

Just put a towel down under you. Or do it in the shower or something.

It's really not a huge quantity of blood, even if your period's on the heavy side. Obviously it's not everyone's thing but if you're OK with it, it really isn't at all difficult or complicated.

can you come back tomorrow and let us know if you had sex and how it went 😂🙈

I think you’re missing the point. PP never alluded to your enjoyment or otherwise.

Just tell him, before he sets off or after he’s arrived. Either way it’s not a biggie, unless he’s jetted in from Australia specially for a shag.

😂

Op wanted help wording a message, not because at 42 she can’t tell a man she’s had sex with that she’s got her period, but because of the nuance - she wasn’t yet ready to explore if it’s “just sex or something more” but this situation cracks that discussion open as Op referenced. So it’s the nuance she wanted help with.

Just message and say you’ve got the painters in.

Exactly. You just put a dark coloured towel down and it’s fine. You both need a shower afterwards if it’s on the heavy side but it’s really no big deal.

Plus period orgasms are so intense :)

”good news! Blow job week”

Quite.

Don’t say this. As a 47 year old British woman I have never heard this phrase in my life. I would assume you were going to the races.

You’d cancel a date because of a period?

Don’t send him a message mentioning menstruation…

Does he know your intentions?

Read the thread. She already has, and it was fine, because he's a normal adult man and not a 12-year-old boy who still thinks girls are gross.