period came unexpectedly and new man coming round today - help me word message

[OrangeSmoke]

I'm seeing a guy today, third date. It's very early days but I like him although possibly more as a friends with benefits type thing - I'm a lone parent and work full time so not looking for anything serious. I'm not sure yet.

We had sex on the last date and have both alluded to it this time around, I'm in peri and my cycle is usually still regular but my period has arrived a full two weeks early this morning. (I'm so pissed off but that's by the by).

He's not pushy at all but having mutually set up the expectation of sex I feel I need to tell him in advance. I'm still up for it but don't want him to feel pressured himself as I know not all guys are going to want that. Help me word this!

I now need to know what his response is 😁

well if he decides to cancel at least you’ll know he just wants sex and not a relationship.

I probably wouldn’t message him to tell him. Idk I’d just tell him before we had sex and say “I’m on my period by the way just so you know”. I’ve never been with a man who minded to be honest but my sample size isn’t big since I married the third one.

I’m surprised by how many people are keen to have sex on their period, it would be a hideous mess if we did that and I find the whole thing quite gross. (Just my opinion don’t shoot me!) If he says no, that’s totally up to him and no pressure on him, I feel like if a man says no these days people think it’s a bad reflection on him but he’s literally only met you a couple of times and really might not like the idea

You most certainly can.
I can express my dislike at the phrase without your permission though, right?

OP, hope you have a great time.

On top of the world, thanks!

What the actual fuck is ladies day?!

Where I am, it’s a day at the races where ladies dress up in all their finery! 😂

op your message to him was fine.

Yeah i agree. This is the sort of thing you tell/do with a partner, yeah. Not someone you've had three dates with 😅

I'm surprised at the amount who would offer not to meet up at all!

Your message was fine OP.

I wouldn't tell him in advance. If he says no then what? Would you really want to see him again if he only comes round when you're not on the rag?

Have your date, see how the evening progresses and if it looks like it's leading to sex then just say, I'm sorry I'm on my period and take his lead. He might say he just wants a kiss and a cuddle, fine, he may still want sex, fine. He may say he wants a blow job or to leave then you know you can bin him off.

Why couldn’t you just be direct and say, ‘I have my period. I’m ok to have sex but understand if you would rather not’.

I’ve done this.

Your message isn’t clear as to what you mean.

I’m not being funny but you ( like me) are a middle aged woman. Why can’t you just be clear you are talking about sex, by using the word sex in your message?

I think that's why I'm so bothered, I wasn't ready to ask that question as I don't know myself yet whether I just want a fling or think it could turn into something more. I'd just been looking forward to today's date and keeping things light for now, and now I feel like we're having a different conversation!

I agree with this re him and that's what I was trying to convey. For myself, I'm up for having sex on my period, it's a bit annoying but I don't find it majorly off putting or anything.

I think it's weird to message in advance at all, just meet up and deal with things naturally. Neither of you are under any obligation ever.

I did consider that but I thought it might look like I'm only interested in him for sex?

No response yet for the curious amongst you 😂

And if he cancels once he knows you have your period-dump him.

So why didn’t you just say this directly?

Your message is ambiguous. You might be trying to say ‘l’d like to meet up but no sex’. You might be trying to warn him you might have cramps or temperamental. You might be trying to say sex is still on if he is up for it. But because you have just made a reference to being on your period but without telling him why this is relevant to your date, he will be left guessing as to what you were trying to communicate. He might guess right, but I’m confused as to why you just didn’t use the word sex in your message. After all, you say you were both texting as if sex was going to happen on this date.

Assuming you're late 40s/early 50s, and assuming he is too, why bother fannying about with ladies day/time of the month etc?

He's a grown ass man who hopefully has some experience of y'know, actual real women who have periods - I'm not one for teaching kids to use proper names for their genitalia but just tell him straight?

Hey, just to let you know that my period started unexpectedly today so just managing your expectations that sex is off the table - would be great to see you for movie/beer/hanging out though?

You've had sex with him but can't talk to him about periods?

And I can cringe inside out at it without your permission though, right?

Just tell him you’re on your period. Would still love to see him but happy to reschedule if he wants to.

No it wouldn’t. You say you were both texting as if you were going to have sex on this date. So referring to sex is fine.

Besides he’s a bloke. He won’t think ‘omg, she is just using me for sex’.

Oh god this is awfully embarrassing.. on all parts. I think I would go for, 'not up for sex tonight but happy to hang out!' Can we ladies not have an air of mystery anymore!

I know its so weird!

If men bled out their dicks once a month and a guy, after just three dates, either suggested I still go around and have sex with him OR told me he was kn his period I'd be like - what?
Just say somrthing came up

Have to say. I am genuinely surprised by women on this thread who wouldn’t use the word ‘periods’ or ‘sex’ or who think this situation is embarrassing.