What’s the most unhinged/blatantly untrue thing you’ve been told by a health visitor?

[claudiawinklemansfringetrimmer]

Inspired by the health visitor who confidently told me yesterday that “Pom bears have more saturated fat than a Big Mac” and the ones on a birth preparation course who stated “breast fed babies are 70% more intelligent” and “they didn’t have formula in dinosaur times!” (The latter is technically true I suppose…)

I was once told that smoking a few cigarettes now and then is good for your bowel

Not unhinged but I think they say things half the time just to ease an anxious mothers mind, and often have no idea why baby is whingey or whatever. I was told my son was teething which was the reason for XYZ. First started when he was just a few weeks old ‘oh yes I can feel them under his gums so it’s teething’. Well these damn teeth took their time because the first didn’t arrive til he was 13 months old!
And the concept of a health visitor - I had one visit in total for two babies. Chronic shortage. So I’d just walk my kids to the baby clinic.

He will soon start eating if you take away the snacks.

He didn’t and within a week we were in hospital hooked up to a drip.

This was in 2005, DS has since been diagnosed with ASC and is extremely underweight due to not liking textures, smells etc. Eats the bare minimum to survive. Really wish we had more support than what we were able to access and as a first time mum wish I was aware of it being ok to push for more help.

When I was recovering from infective mastitis and had exceptionally painful breasts she told me not to wear a bra at all and when I said it was fine in principle but just a blouse brushing against my breasts/nipples was agony, told me to wrap myself in a blanket and sit by the fire. Followed up with: breastfeeding mothers put their babies first, bottle feeding mothers put themselves first and when I ventured I needed more help told me to phone the NCT because she wasn't an expert. No shit sherlock but her lack of expertise didn't stop her from giving incorrect and crap advice.

I contacted her boss to find out exactly what the HVs role was only to be told it was to make sure I talked to my baby enough for him to develop speech.

I never saw a health visitor ever again and even 30 years later regard them not only a complete waste of space but remain shocked at the waste of resources and money on something so hopeless.

It struck me at the time that they only wanted to focus on families who were deprived or dysfunctional and had received no training whatsoever in how to deal with functional families who had planned and wanted their babies and who wanted their children to have the best care available.

I had enough crazy from health visitors that I declined them eventually.

One confidently walked in after I had my second child , my first son had died a few years before, and said "does he look anything like your dead son?", and then said I clearly had PND when I kicked her out.

After my next child I had gallstones and was put on tramadol so I decided to stop breastfeeding as they said my baby woukd be lethargic, but not harmed, the HV told me I was making a choice in my own best interests and not the interests of my child (even though I was literally collapsing in pain at points).

Another reported me to SS because I had a "weird machine" attached to my child that she had no knowledge of and had never seen before. It was from the hospital and part of a study to do with a health condition. In the report about the medical equipment she also stated that I hadn't dusted under my TV, I had one of those annoying high gloss TV stands that need dusting every 2 seconds. SS never even visited, just called and I explained about the equipment.

I think they were all nasty to me because I reported the first one and she had to undertake additional training and apologise to me, but she was well loved by her colleagues, so I just declined them after that, they never brought anything useful to my life anyways.

That I would stunt my son's growth if I stopped breast feeding. I had mastitis and every time he fed he had blood as well as a very small amount of milk. He was clearly not getting enough as was hungry every 20 minutes. She wiped the floor with me and my lack of resilience.

My 6'1 21 year old university graduate son would now disagree and who knows how tall he would be if I had listened.

My PND was not helped by this at all. I suffered for many years believing I was a failure.

This has reminded me about the story my dad used to tell about throwing the HV out of the house. She’d upset my mum with a comment about my baby brother, so out she went. I wish he was here to tell the tale because I’ve forgotten the circumstances.

We should stop feeding baby to sleep

I’m so sorry, that is horrible

That adults can't catch headlice.

Mine told me that I should wean with baby rice because it is very nutritious. I nodded and continued to give fruit, veg, potatoes and meat while breastfeeding.

They didn’t have breast milk in ‘dinosaur times’ either.

It was a midwife who told me that water has memory. She was lucky I was young and meek in those days. She only got an eye roll.

She tried to convince me that my baby was five months old rather than six months (‘the first month doesn’t count’ 🤯🙈), and told me I should add salt to mashed potato as a first weaning food!!!!! 😱😱😱

Wow!

Not me, but a friend was told that she must treat her very hungry 8 week old baby, who was bigger than average at birth and was bottle fed, ‘like an alcoholic’ and restrict his feeds, or he’d end up obese.

I’m pleased to say that she ignored such batshit nonsense.

@SitOnHisFaceIfHeDiesHeDiesa pharmacist once explained to me in mind boggling scientific detail the effects of nicotine on the bowel. “Good for your bowel” is a poor way to word it, but there is definitely an impact and it can cure constipation. Prunes / all bran / lactulose etc are also available 😂

I was lucky with my health visitor. She supported me when I was struggling with breast feeding, but rushed out to buy me a tin of formula when after 3 weeks I was concerned enough with his failure to feed to consider switching. Ds1 thrived after that.

i did roll eyes at a doctor who said to only put treatment for conjunctivitis in the currently affected eye of ds2. I was fully expecting toddler fingers to cross contaminate the other eye and possibly ours too.

Exactly, and I didn’t call it out at the time either (although props to my husband, who back then was a very scared boyfriend, who leaned over and muttered “yeah and look what happened to the dinosaurs”)

😁 excellent response!

Your post jumped out at me. Similar situation here with DS2. No helpful advice from anyone at any point. No indication he had ASC even though his symptoms were textbook, it turned out. Loads of stupid advice to 'make him eat what is put in front of him.'

I did get lots of good advice in the end, but it is heartbreaking at the time.
(Good advice included - if he will eat anything at all, however 'bad' for him, give him that food when you all sit down to dinner, so he associates family meal times with pleasure. Try to put teeny, tiny bits of highly nutritious food into his mouth while he is distracted, watching TV or playing with a favourite toy. As soon as he is old enough, explan to him about different food groups and what they do for you, then put small bowls with different choices in front of him and let him choose what from each food group, he wants to eat. Don't worry if it is the same each time. DS survived for about 8 years on cheese sandwiches, humous, sliced apple, cucumber and banana with the occasional chicken nugget. Not great but all main food groups included.

I was told when having my first DS that I had to ensure that my OH talked to my belly because studies had shown that not doing so would result in a lack of emotional bond and possible stunted emotional development.

I wish I had asked her if she advised this to parents who were single, had spouses who worked away or served overseas, or perhaps had issues with speech themselves. I was glad when Covid meant that I only dealt with her again by phone.

I had one health visitor tell me (40 years ago) that the erythema toxicum spots on my baby's face were caused by the Infacare baby wash that the maternity unit had given us and that I should stop using it. She never made appointments and always managed to pitch up when I was resting while my baby napped or had the baby in the bath. She was obsessed with feeling fontanelles.

Another health visitor told me that breast feeding on demand would not stimulate my milk supply because "breastfeeding does not work like that" and that I should stop feeding on demand and offer 4 hourly breast feeds instead.

None of the health visitors I had gave me any useful advice at all.

Ours wanted to cut V shapes in our newborns fingernails because she thought they were too tight.

She was casting around for her reading glasses and kitchen scissors but we managed to stop her.

“They didn’t have formula in dinosaur times”

Well of course they didn’t. How could a T rex open a tub of formula. That’s why all the dinosaurs breastfed, just like the reptiles of today.

Dc3 was born in November. Other dc were 7 and 4. I remember going to visit her at the clinic when baby was a few weeks old, we had been discharged by midwife so it must have been early Dec. I remember opening up about how I was feeling overwhelmed with a new baby and older children excited for Christmas. School plays, parties, shopping etc etc. She told me to cancel Christmas and just not do it this year! Seriously....with a 7 and 4 year old!