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Original poster

A holiday one - is there a way to avoid canceling?

106 replies

OopsNoHoliday · 07/08/2025 17:35

Family holiday starts on Sunday - me, dh, and 2 kids plus PiL.

A week in Devon, about 3 hours drive, staying all together in a single-storey lodge. Plan was to be out and about doing activities and day trips. Weather forecast is fab.

But - I broke my leg badly this week and am advised I shouldn’t sit in one position for more than 30 mins.

I told dh id be perfectly ok staying at home quietly while the rest of the family go. I have friends and neighbours if I get in difficulty. Dh is point blank refusing to go without me, which is sweet. But he wants to drag me along! And says the entire family will cancel if I can’t come. My kids will be heartbroken and seems so unfair on PiL. All my compromises have been rejected so far but what do you all think? Is there a way to make this work? Should I just go against medical advice and my own preference and and go? I’d be so careful at home, I can’t see why it’s not safe - loads of people survive alone with a limb in a cast.

thanks for any ideas

OP posts:
Campingisnexttogodliness · 07/08/2025 17:38

Maybe he see the holiday without you as more work for him? Personally I would go. I fractured a foot and carried on a week walking on a Scottish island!!
Def don't recommend that but arse to couch and leg up for a week in Cornwall should be fine
*I am not a Dr...

PullTheBricksDown · 07/08/2025 17:38

Why not go on the holiday but stay at your lodge while they do the day trips? At least you can eat together in the evenings and maybe potter a bit.

PullTheBricksDown · 07/08/2025 17:40

If it's the journey you're worried about, could you go in the back seat of the car or wherever there's more space for you to stretch out and change position?

The 30 minutes isn't 24/7, surely, or how are you supposed to sleep at night?

SheridansPortSalut · 07/08/2025 17:46

The 3 hour car journey each way goes against medical advice and he's putting pressure on you to go anyway. That's not sweet.

Do you think perhaps he might be thinking of himself, not you and the kids? It's in your best interest to stay home. It's in the kids and pils interest to go. The only person with something to lose by this arrangement is him - he'll have to look after the kids and deal with his parents.

SheridansPortSalut · 07/08/2025 17:47

PullTheBricksDown · 07/08/2025 17:40

If it's the journey you're worried about, could you go in the back seat of the car or wherever there's more space for you to stretch out and change position?

The 30 minutes isn't 24/7, surely, or how are you supposed to sleep at night?

I doubt she sleeps sitting up.
The blood pools in your legs when you sit.

Original poster
OopsNoHoliday · 07/08/2025 18:58

Thanks all. Dh has convinced himself I’ll fall if I stay home - of course if I did fall did then he would feel bad leaving me when he “knows” I’m a danger to myself.

dh would be 100% fine with PiL and the kids for the week - he’s a brilliant dad and easily does his 50% of home life stuff.

So I know his main problem is thinking I’m a liability - and that makes me feel guilty.

I have been looking forward to this holiday soooo much and I don’t want to miss it, but I’d feel a million times worse if I was stuck on my own all day not even with my home comforts.

OP posts:
Original poster
OopsNoHoliday · 07/08/2025 19:00

SheridansPortSalut · 07/08/2025 17:47

I doubt she sleeps sitting up.
The blood pools in your legs when you sit.

Show quote history

Yes I lie flat to sleep. I should have been clearer that I’m not supposed to sit with my leg bent for long periods of time. I could lie in the back seat and kids could travel in pils car I suppose.

OP posts:
BlueyNeedsToFuckOff · 07/08/2025 19:00

Could you manage to get the train rather than driving?

Midnightlove · 07/08/2025 19:04

He just doesn't want to look after the kids all week 🤣

I would go though, and just take it easy one there

Frostynoman · 07/08/2025 19:06

A) your husbands allows you to stay home (…!)
B) Kids go with PiL’s and your husband breaks the journey every 30 minutes, as you would with a newborn

doodleschnoodle · 07/08/2025 19:11

Can you physically get in and out of the car? If so I would go and just plan on stopping every 30-45 mins on the journey. Once you are there surely it’ll be no different to being at home with the added bonus of lots of pairs of hands to fetch you stuff!

Specstop · 07/08/2025 19:12

If it's really about you, could DC go with PILs?

Or you travel by train so you can move about?

CanOfMangoTango · 07/08/2025 19:15

I would do anything you can to persuade DH to go. I would say it's non negotiable that you don't travel.

Beds in holiday places are never as good as your own and you will need your creature comforts around you.

Your body will be working hard to heal, you'll need to rest and nap and it just won't be the same away from home.

RandomUsernameHere · 07/08/2025 19:18

Could you reschedule without losing what you’ve paid?

Original poster
OopsNoHoliday · 07/08/2025 20:02

RandomUsernameHere · 07/08/2025 19:18

Could you reschedule without losing what you’ve paid?

Yes we could cancel and get insurance or rebook but not this year as where we are staying is booked out.

So not going doesn’t mean we’d lose a lot financially

OP posts:
SunsetCocktails · 07/08/2025 20:04

doodleschnoodle · 07/08/2025 19:11

Can you physically get in and out of the car? If so I would go and just plan on stopping every 30-45 mins on the journey. Once you are there surely it’ll be no different to being at home with the added bonus of lots of pairs of hands to fetch you stuff!

I would do this, stop every so often for a toilet break and a walk about. For those advising the train, I absolutely wouldn’t be going by train with a broken leg! You’ll most likely find it’s delayed or cancelled and you’ll have no seat and have to sit in a cramped carriage on the floor. My experience of any train going anywhere recently….

Original poster
OopsNoHoliday · 07/08/2025 20:04

BlueyNeedsToFuckOff · 07/08/2025 19:00

Could you manage to get the train rather than driving?

Maybe! I hadn’t thought of taking a train . I could take my older teen with me too, for assistance. I’ll look into that . Not sure if it’s very feasible but a good thoughts

OP posts:
Coconutter24 · 07/08/2025 20:06

I’d ask the Pil to drive the children or DH have the kids and you go with PIL so that you have plenty of room to stretch out and put your feet up.

Honeyandwine · 07/08/2025 20:07

Stick the kids in the grandparent’s car. You sit in the back with leg up and make sure you stop every 30 mins for a coffee or something. A change of scenery might do you good.

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 07/08/2025 20:07

Could you sit in the front seat with the seat as far back as it will go, so your leg is as less bent as possible and then do frequent 5-10 mins stops? I think if you were to sit across
the back seat, that the seatbelt wouldn’t be in the right place, plus it would be very difficult for you to get in and out. Perhaps if you can manage the journey then once you are there they will be happy to go out and about and you can relax at your lodge.

What age are the other family members? If PIL are youngish and active,’is there an option for them to take your DC if you really aren’t up to it?

Lastly, do you have insurance that would pay out for cancellation if none of you go?

Original poster
OopsNoHoliday · 07/08/2025 20:07

doodleschnoodle · 07/08/2025 19:11

Can you physically get in and out of the car? If so I would go and just plan on stopping every 30-45 mins on the journey. Once you are there surely it’ll be no different to being at home with the added bonus of lots of pairs of hands to fetch you stuff!

Yes, I could definitely get in and out of the car

I can’t really explain it, I am just nervous about being so far from home with a broken leg, in an unknown property. I love my PiL but I’m not sure I’m ready for them to see me in a sobbing mess because my leg aches or I haven’t been able to shower.

OP posts:
Original poster
OopsNoHoliday · 07/08/2025 20:07

doodleschnoodle · 07/08/2025 19:11

Can you physically get in and out of the car? If so I would go and just plan on stopping every 30-45 mins on the journey. Once you are there surely it’ll be no different to being at home with the added bonus of lots of pairs of hands to fetch you stuff!

Yes, I could definitely get in and out of the car

I can’t really explain it, I am just nervous about being so far from home with a broken leg, in an unknown property. I love my PiL but I’m not sure I’m ready for them to see me in a sobbing mess because my leg aches or I haven’t been able to shower.

OP posts:
ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 07/08/2025 20:09

OopsNoHoliday · 07/08/2025 20:04

Maybe! I hadn’t thought of taking a train . I could take my older teen with me too, for assistance. I’ll look into that . Not sure if it’s very feasible but a good thoughts

Show quote history

The idea of train travel is often appealing - but reality is that you have less seat space than you would in the car (assuming DC with PIL) and it’s not easy to move up and down a packed carriage. At least in the car you can stop and get out.

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 07/08/2025 20:11

I guess it also depends on what kind of car you have .

Zempy · 07/08/2025 20:11

I think DH is being unfair putting this pressure on you.

Tell him you really need his support right now and what he has to do is go on the trip and leave you to recover in peace.

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