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Original poster

A holiday one - is there a way to avoid canceling?

106 replies

OopsNoHoliday · 07/08/2025 17:35

Family holiday starts on Sunday - me, dh, and 2 kids plus PiL.

A week in Devon, about 3 hours drive, staying all together in a single-storey lodge. Plan was to be out and about doing activities and day trips. Weather forecast is fab.

But - I broke my leg badly this week and am advised I shouldn’t sit in one position for more than 30 mins.

I told dh id be perfectly ok staying at home quietly while the rest of the family go. I have friends and neighbours if I get in difficulty. Dh is point blank refusing to go without me, which is sweet. But he wants to drag me along! And says the entire family will cancel if I can’t come. My kids will be heartbroken and seems so unfair on PiL. All my compromises have been rejected so far but what do you all think? Is there a way to make this work? Should I just go against medical advice and my own preference and and go? I’d be so careful at home, I can’t see why it’s not safe - loads of people survive alone with a limb in a cast.

thanks for any ideas

OP posts:
CloverAdrift · 07/08/2025 21:11

I would 100% stay at home and insist your DH goes on the holiday.

You're the one with the broken leg, you can decide for yourself whether or not you'll be OK on your own.

Original poster
OopsNoHoliday · 07/08/2025 21:12

At the risk of a drip feed - in case anyone is still lurking on this thread - would your answer change much if I told you I had one badly broken leg, and had also one mildly broken the other one too (in a boot but can bear weight)?

OP posts:
Original poster
OopsNoHoliday · 07/08/2025 21:13

At the risk of a drip feed - in case anyone is still lurking on this thread - would your answer change much if I told you I had one badly broken leg, and had also one mildly broken the other one too (in a boot but can bear weight)?

OP posts:
Doingmybest12 · 07/08/2025 21:13

OP doesn't feel its best for her to go. Unless she usually says one thing and means another ,then husband can prioritise childrens holiday and op has friends and neighbours for support.

toastedteddy · 07/08/2025 21:14

OopsNoHoliday · 07/08/2025 21:12

At the risk of a drip feed - in case anyone is still lurking on this thread - would your answer change much if I told you I had one badly broken leg, and had also one mildly broken the other one too (in a boot but can bear weight)?

🤭

honestly, if you’re okay getting around, I’d say try it on the train. Worst comes to the worst you go home again.

Frostynoman · 07/08/2025 21:15

Okay massive drip feed. No wonder your husband is so concerned - how on earth did you do that?

Original poster
OopsNoHoliday · 07/08/2025 21:19

Frostynoman · 07/08/2025 21:15

Okay massive drip feed. No wonder your husband is so concerned - how on earth did you do that?

just bad luck!

I’m glad I asked the question about one leg first. Because I suspect everyone is going to agree the drip feed changes their mind about going (especially by train, I seriously think that won’t work because steps are really scary at the moment).

OP posts:
Anyahyacinth · 07/08/2025 21:20

Are you prescribed anticoagulants? Was it set without surgery? Using crutches? I shattered my TPF knee joint when I could finally travel 3 hrs immobilisation would make it so stiff and painful. The low sofas in holiday cottages made it impossible for me to stand and I needed a shower chair. How will you manage that? Are you supposed to be non weight bearing? In a brace?

Anyahyacinth · 07/08/2025 21:23

OopsNoHoliday · 07/08/2025 20:43

@Doingmybest12 I’m not angry, I’m anxious. I thought me staying home was such a simple and sensible solution - but dh is worried I won’t be safe at night if I get up to go to the loo. I don’t want him to be worried sick, I’m trying to work out if it’s rational to be so worried about me. I will not be going out, or up and down stairs.

Equipment services in your area can set you up with things like a commode, shower chair etc...

Doingmybest12 · 07/08/2025 21:23

Either you feel you have enough support to manage at home or you don't OP. I'm wondering from your strange way of asking about this ,if your husband isn't too sure about if you are saying what you mean.

GravyBoatWars · 07/08/2025 21:28

OopsNoHoliday · 07/08/2025 21:13

At the risk of a drip feed - in case anyone is still lurking on this thread - would your answer change much if I told you I had one badly broken leg, and had also one mildly broken the other one too (in a boot but can bear weight)?

OP, you're an adult and it's your body. How well are you able to safely care for yourself right now? What reliable support is available and is it sufficient to keep you safe? What back up plan can be in place if you're not coping alone?

This thread is full of people suggesting ways for you to make going on the trip work (I'm guessing because of your thread title) but not really acknowledging that you don't want to go, don't feel comfortable going, and have a very good reason for that. The trip is under threat of cancellation because your DH is saying he'll cancel for everyone if you don't agree to come along against your wishes because he isn't comfortable with you staying alone. The problem is that none of us have a way to know better than you if you staying home is actually dangerous and unreasonable in your specific situation.

Going along on the trip just to appease your DH - prioritizing soothing his worries above what you want and need when you are badly injured - is unreasonable. Him acting like your parent and ignoring what you say you want and need because he thinks he knows better is unreasonable, as is him trying to strong-arm you into going by threatening to cancel the holiday for everyone. However, safety comes before either comfort/enjoyment or holidays. You need to take a really honest look at whether it is unsafe for you to stay home alone or not - if so, you need to accept that and choose between going along on the trip (plenty of suggestions on how to make that work) or it being cancelled. If you still genuinely believe it's safe then stand your ground and tell your DH to stop acting like your parent.

Original poster
OopsNoHoliday · 07/08/2025 21:29

@Anyahyacinth you sound like you know what you’re talking about from bitter experience

Are you prescribed anticoagulants? If that is blood thinners, Yes

Was it set without surgery? one surgery

Using crutches? Walking frame, but we do have crutches I’m just not too good yet.

I shattered my TPF knee joint when I could finally travel 3 hrs immobilisation would make it so stiff and painful. OUCH. You have my sympathy.

The low sofas in holiday cottages made it impossible for me to stand and I needed a shower chair. How will you manage that?

god knows! And it’s going to be hot. I will need so much help - I worry I’ll just be stuck in bed getting all sweaty! Mortifying.

Are you supposed to be non weight bearing? I can bear weight on one side, manageable with pain killers. I’m allowed to partially bear weight on the other side. It’s all just very tricky. We have adjustments at home and I’m just happier, more familiar.

OP posts:
Original poster
OopsNoHoliday · 07/08/2025 21:31

Doingmybest12 · 07/08/2025 21:23

Either you feel you have enough support to manage at home or you don't OP. I'm wondering from your strange way of asking about this ,if your husband isn't too sure about if you are saying what you mean.

In fairness to myself, I’ve been taking a lot of codeine 😂

is it a strange way of asking? I’m probably quite a strange person. I was trying not to make it outing, but frankly it doesn’t really matter as I did a NC anyway .

OP posts:
goldenquestion · 07/08/2025 21:33

Haven’t rtft but if you want to go, would the train be an option? Might be more comfortable to travel, can get up and stretch the other leg 🙈

Toddlerteaplease · 07/08/2025 21:34

I’d just go.

SingingintheWind · 07/08/2025 21:35

Your in-laws take the kids away, you rest at home with DH.

Original poster
OopsNoHoliday · 07/08/2025 21:38

@GravyBoatWars I think this is extremely wise advice. Thank you.

I think deep down I suspect I’m not safe enough on my own - I’ve never been in such a mess so I’ve no experience to draw upon.

But I am fairly sure I don’t want to travel or be away - that doesn’t seem safe or comfortable either.

So we have to cancel. I think that is the only answer.

Going to go and have a little cry now…

OP posts:
Arlanymor · 07/08/2025 21:38

I wouldn’t be going anywhere with two gammy legs.

Options are:

  1. Stay home with reassurance for DH that you’ll be looked in on regularly by friends/family
  2. Change the dates and try and do fun stuff at home instead
HelloHattie · 07/08/2025 21:38

How did you do that? I would stay home.

Bobbybobbins · 07/08/2025 21:39

I wouldn’t go with two broken legs OP. As others have said, could PIL take the children or could someone else come and stay with you for a bit?

Zanatdy · 07/08/2025 21:40

I absolutely would not go. Stay at home and rest. DH probably just wants you there for selfish reasons. You’d be fine home alone. Why risk a prolonged recovery.

Arlanymor · 07/08/2025 21:40

Ah have a little cry if you need, it’s so frustrating and unfair. But you are making the right choice. I’m wondering how you managed to do such a number on yourself - please tell me it was spectacular? (Or make it up if you prefer!)

Original poster
OopsNoHoliday · 07/08/2025 21:40

HelloHattie · 07/08/2025 21:38

How did you do that? I would stay home.

I just fell badly. I’d love to tell you I wiped out skiing or crash-landed my paraglider, but I was walking, tripped and fell.

OP posts:
Original poster
OopsNoHoliday · 07/08/2025 21:42

Arlanymor · 07/08/2025 21:40

Ah have a little cry if you need, it’s so frustrating and unfair. But you are making the right choice. I’m wondering how you managed to do such a number on yourself - please tell me it was spectacular? (Or make it up if you prefer!)

Edited

i wish it was! I might have to invent a more impressive story.

perhaps I could start a new thread asking for suggestions how I can explain injuring myself so badly

OP posts:
Arlanymor · 07/08/2025 21:42

OopsNoHoliday · 07/08/2025 21:40

I just fell badly. I’d love to tell you I wiped out skiing or crash-landed my paraglider, but I was walking, tripped and fell.

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Yeah but were you actually doing the conga up Snowdon in stilettos - I mean mere mortals might call it walking…