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Original poster

A holiday one - is there a way to avoid canceling?

106 replies

OopsNoHoliday · 07/08/2025 17:35

Family holiday starts on Sunday - me, dh, and 2 kids plus PiL.

A week in Devon, about 3 hours drive, staying all together in a single-storey lodge. Plan was to be out and about doing activities and day trips. Weather forecast is fab.

But - I broke my leg badly this week and am advised I shouldn’t sit in one position for more than 30 mins.

I told dh id be perfectly ok staying at home quietly while the rest of the family go. I have friends and neighbours if I get in difficulty. Dh is point blank refusing to go without me, which is sweet. But he wants to drag me along! And says the entire family will cancel if I can’t come. My kids will be heartbroken and seems so unfair on PiL. All my compromises have been rejected so far but what do you all think? Is there a way to make this work? Should I just go against medical advice and my own preference and and go? I’d be so careful at home, I can’t see why it’s not safe - loads of people survive alone with a limb in a cast.

thanks for any ideas

OP posts:
Arlanymor · 07/08/2025 21:43

OopsNoHoliday · 07/08/2025 21:42

i wish it was! I might have to invent a more impressive story.

perhaps I could start a new thread asking for suggestions how I can explain injuring myself so badly

Show quote history

That’s a GREAT idea!

BrucesTooth · 07/08/2025 21:45

Definitely sounds like you should not go and yo should not be alone either. How old are the kids? Could they go with your in laws? Then maybe at a push your DH could join for the last few days if you seem ok to be left?

GravyBoatWars · 07/08/2025 21:47

OopsNoHoliday · 07/08/2025 21:38

@GravyBoatWars I think this is extremely wise advice. Thank you.

I think deep down I suspect I’m not safe enough on my own - I’ve never been in such a mess so I’ve no experience to draw upon.

But I am fairly sure I don’t want to travel or be away - that doesn’t seem safe or comfortable either.

So we have to cancel. I think that is the only answer.

Going to go and have a little cry now…

Cancelling a holiday that everyone is looking forward to is such an awful feeling, but it sounds like it's what needs to happen. One of the really lousy things about adult life is that a lot of the time it's about choosing the least shite option of all the shite options in front of us.

Spend some time feeling all the feelings then go hug your family and you and DH do some brainstorming about home-based activities he can lead with the DC during that stretch to make it a little staycation for everyone. A great family movie night complete with a "mum's got no leg to stand on" cake from the bakery would be on my list.

Best wishes for your healing.

Redburnett · 07/08/2025 21:48

Take the medical advice not your DH's. If that means holiday cancelled because he cannot be bothered managing the DC and his parents himself then it is on him. To suggest his wife with a broken leg should endure a 3 hour car journey and an unfamiliar place with a badly broken leg is bordering on abuse

Original poster
OopsNoHoliday · 07/08/2025 21:48

@BrucesTooth i suggested exactly that but pil are quite elderly so we think it might be a bit much for them even just for a few days.
Good idea though

gah, it’s all just such a big messy mess

OP posts:
GloryDias · 07/08/2025 21:50

Could you come to a bit of a compromise and if you stay at home get some home help from a care provider, if they popped in a couple of times a day perhaps that would put your husbands mind at rest so they can still go on holiday?

Sunshineismyfavourite · 07/08/2025 21:51

Honestly OP? You need to cancel the holiday and rebook for next year. See if DH and PILs can take the kids out for a few day trips from home or could your DCs go to stay with PILs for a few days so they still get to spend time together?
Your DCs may be disappointed but they will get over it.

Your DH and DCs would be worried about you (quite rightly) if they left you home alone. And it would be difficult for you, no matter how independent you are or how badly you want them to go.

I had knee surgery a while ago and I have to say I would have been no way up for going on holiday with my PILs during the early weeks of my recovery. And your injury is way worse than mine!

It's really rubbish and crap timing but sometimes life happens and you just have to take it on the chin. Book something lovely for when you have recovered.

Original poster
OopsNoHoliday · 07/08/2025 22:12

Thank you @Sunshineismyfavourite this sounds like the kind of advice my mum would have given me, and she had an annoying habit of being right. All my most sensible decisions were made with her wise counsel.

OP posts:
Original poster
OopsNoHoliday · 07/08/2025 22:13

Ps @Sunshineismyfavourite I hope your knee has recovered well.

OP posts:
Sunshineismyfavourite · 07/08/2025 22:25

OopsNoHoliday · 07/08/2025 22:13

Ps @Sunshineismyfavourite I hope your knee has recovered well.

Getting there thank you! Best wishes for a speedy recovery to you too. You know Mums know best, right? 🤗

Herberty · 07/08/2025 22:26

I definitely would not go - I am just back from a holiday on crutches - the bed was uncomfortable and I swear the walk in shower was over a foot off the floor so I had to climb in. Don't get me started on the sofa ...

You are best off cancelling the holiday and letting them go off for day trips from home and you rest up. I had a phone bag around my neck at all times when I last broke a leg and you can set your smart watch to automatically call your husband if you have a fall while they are out.

Please don't risk any train travel until you are completely better / where I live it is a 2 foot jump to exit the train on crutches - people tried to catch me but it was highly risky

Sandyshandy · 07/08/2025 22:33

There’s no decision to be made - you can’t go and you can’t be left alone. You just need to focus on recovering and you need to feel safe and have your home comforts.

so annoying for you, I hope you feel better soon.

Anyahyacinth · 07/08/2025 22:52

OopsNoHoliday · 07/08/2025 21:29

@Anyahyacinth you sound like you know what you’re talking about from bitter experience

Are you prescribed anticoagulants? If that is blood thinners, Yes

Was it set without surgery? one surgery

Using crutches? Walking frame, but we do have crutches I’m just not too good yet.

I shattered my TPF knee joint when I could finally travel 3 hrs immobilisation would make it so stiff and painful. OUCH. You have my sympathy.

The low sofas in holiday cottages made it impossible for me to stand and I needed a shower chair. How will you manage that?

god knows! And it’s going to be hot. I will need so much help - I worry I’ll just be stuck in bed getting all sweaty! Mortifying.

Are you supposed to be non weight bearing? I can bear weight on one side, manageable with pain killers. I’m allowed to partially bear weight on the other side. It’s all just very tricky. We have adjustments at home and I’m just happier, more familiar.

I definitely do have the experience 🥰 I wouldn't go to a new place or risk a long journey (risk of blood clots being too still) ...is your wound healing ok? I'd get all the equipment set up at home...wheelchair or office chair to whizz about, chair raisers the lot....mobile phone lanyard so its always on you. Rota of support if needed. I did a holiday cottage at month 4 post op....platform shower...terrifying, sofa I couldn't rise from ...sitting around (cafes wtc.) my leg was dreadful from the immobility.. your own home is different...easier to navigate. You can do you physio and ankle pumps etc, get an easy shop in....Sorry this had happened 🍀💚🍀 people with your fracture probably have a facebook group for extra tips. TPFers certainly do 🥰

Anyahyacinth · 07/08/2025 22:54

Herberty · 07/08/2025 22:26

I definitely would not go - I am just back from a holiday on crutches - the bed was uncomfortable and I swear the walk in shower was over a foot off the floor so I had to climb in. Don't get me started on the sofa ...

You are best off cancelling the holiday and letting them go off for day trips from home and you rest up. I had a phone bag around my neck at all times when I last broke a leg and you can set your smart watch to automatically call your husband if you have a fall while they are out.

Please don't risk any train travel until you are completely better / where I live it is a 2 foot jump to exit the train on crutches - people tried to catch me but it was highly risky

Oh my goodness...I echo EVERYTHING you've shared 🫶 showers on those platforms and nothing to hold onto as you exit...quite the eye opener 🥹🥰

CanOfMangoTango · 07/08/2025 23:07

OopsNoHoliday · 07/08/2025 21:13

At the risk of a drip feed - in case anyone is still lurking on this thread - would your answer change much if I told you I had one badly broken leg, and had also one mildly broken the other one too (in a boot but can bear weight)?

It confirms my instinct was right that you should stay home!

Honestly it would be madness to attempt this holiday. It won't be relaxing in the least. It will set your recovery back. You'll feel obliged to try and 'do things' to help in the accommodation or please others by going on outings. Please don't go!

HonoriaBulstrode · 07/08/2025 23:14

where I live it is a 2 foot jump to exit the train on crutches - people tried to catch me but it was highly risky

If you book assistance, they'll bring a ramp.

I struggle with the gaps on some routes and I'm reasonably able bodied. I think my legs must be getting shorter as I get older.

Ohnobackagain · 07/08/2025 23:23

I’m so sorry @OopsNoHoliday what rotten luck. I have to say, it would take forever by car if you have to stop and get out every half hour or so. That would be the worry for me, assuming you could check what the accommodation is like. If I could safely get there I’d give it a go but I don’t know if you can, so can understand your anxiety and desire to be somewhere familiar. ☹️☹️☹️☹️

Original poster
OopsNoHoliday · 08/08/2025 07:41

@CanOfMangoTango “Honestly it would be madness to attempt this holiday” - this gave me a good laugh!

@Anyahyacinth never even considered checking for a FB group 😆 good tip thanks. All your comments have been so helpful thank you. I do have a history of “struggling on” so I don’t let the team down etc etc. I think I need to just be a bit more grown up about this and properly consider the risk and how unhappy I’ll be.

OP posts:
Comtesse · 08/08/2025 07:59

Sandyshandy · 07/08/2025 22:33

There’s no decision to be made - you can’t go and you can’t be left alone. You just need to focus on recovering and you need to feel safe and have your home comforts.

so annoying for you, I hope you feel better soon.

I think this is right. Unless someone else can stay with you I wouldn’t think you are safe to be by yourself. Really bad luck, so sorry.

BeaLola · 08/08/2025 09:11

I totally get where you are coming from but I wouldn't go

As you have said your PIL are too old to manage kids on own I would cancel and rebook for next year and then arrange lots of great stuff for the week for your kids at home - if PIL aren't too far away book them a Premier Inn or similar near you for a couple of days do they can take kids out for a day plus see you

If you feel awful about PIL cancelled trip book them a weekend away sone where they'd love as a treat

Treat yourself too whilst recovering

Original poster
OopsNoHoliday · 08/08/2025 11:16

@BeaLola that’s a brilliant idea, I could try and compensate PiL in some way. I’ll think about what would work. MiL was planning to get a beauty treatment recently, perhaps I could take her. I have never done anything like that but might be nice.

OP posts:
MustWeDoThis · 08/08/2025 20:07

OopsNoHoliday · 07/08/2025 17:35

Family holiday starts on Sunday - me, dh, and 2 kids plus PiL.

A week in Devon, about 3 hours drive, staying all together in a single-storey lodge. Plan was to be out and about doing activities and day trips. Weather forecast is fab.

But - I broke my leg badly this week and am advised I shouldn’t sit in one position for more than 30 mins.

I told dh id be perfectly ok staying at home quietly while the rest of the family go. I have friends and neighbours if I get in difficulty. Dh is point blank refusing to go without me, which is sweet. But he wants to drag me along! And says the entire family will cancel if I can’t come. My kids will be heartbroken and seems so unfair on PiL. All my compromises have been rejected so far but what do you all think? Is there a way to make this work? Should I just go against medical advice and my own preference and and go? I’d be so careful at home, I can’t see why it’s not safe - loads of people survive alone with a limb in a cast.

thanks for any ideas

Go. You can stop every 30 minutes and move your leg, or move position in the car, then you can chill on holiday while they do day trips.

GC30 · 08/08/2025 21:07

Not sure where you are based and not ideal with a broken leg but is there an option for you to get the train? Maybe with assistance? That way you can walk around as needed on the journey?

Bamboozled108 · 08/08/2025 21:23

If the doctors have said you it's OK to sleep lying flat then surely a 3 hour journey sitting in the back of the car with leg on seat isn't going to hurt? Or have a break every hour to get out and stretch it. I'd go and be waited on hand and foot. Would love the break! 😂

Active13 · 08/08/2025 21:46

Dear OP,

Do not go....

You have one broken leg in a cast & a mildly broken leg in a boot.....you have the opportunity to stay home for a week & fully rest. There is no point you going other than to please everyone else. Friends could pop round to help if needed.

My 75 year old mum broke her leg & managed at home extremely well. She hired a wheel chair for getting around her home & family/friends popped in give her company more than look after her.

Your DH is capable of looking after his children for a week. He will have support from his parents. If you go you will be more likely to fall when they are out as you will be in an unfamiliar environment. There will be pressure for you to go on trips.

I think DH should be telling you to stay home & take the opportunity to rest so your fractures can mend.

As for 'making it up' to your PIL (if you cancel) .....no way! Your recovery is important, you don't have to compensate for what happened to you.

Your recovery is the priority here. If hubby was going with your parents then it would be different, however he is going with his parents.

Best wishes for a speedy recovery x