Please tell me why being single is so great

[Rowlinginthedeepanddeeper]

I know statistically single women are the happiest; can you please tell me why? After a couple of not awful but mediocre relationships, my head is saying being single is a good option, but my heart and, frankly, my body/physical needs are saying otherwise.

First of all @Rowlinginthedeepanddeeper you can stop believing that bullshit myth that 'single women are the happiest demographic.' This myth has been perpetuated by (some) single women hanging onto a fraying thread, to convince themselves that they are happier/better than married women/women in relationships, due to a tiny poll of several 100 single women done years ago. It's utter bullshit, and something that (some) single women keep parrotting to convince themselves they are happy single/better than married women/women in relationships.

There are 100s of 1000s of women on dating sites, and quite often threads and posts online/on MN stating how lonely they are, and how fed up they are seeing couples all the time, and how envious they are of women having someone to share their life with.

They struggle financially alone, and struggle to make ends meet. Most single women are not on £125K to £150K a year, living in a swanky apartment in the city, with a large group of friends, and several men fighting over her, Most single women are not Bridget Jones! They have no man in their life, and have almost zero surplus income after the bills and outgoings.

Of course you see threads on here about shitty men/unhappily married women, but women who are happy in their marriage don't come on here to say so do they?! They'd be accused of being smug!

I believe that women who divorced after 20+ years or so - after a not-too-good marriage can be happier single than they were married, and that widows can be happy single, once they have grieved their husband's death, and will be happy to stay single. But to be perma single, (and be in the position where you have never had a relationship) is completely different. 'Better to have loved and lost to never have loved at all' is quite a profound and accurate statement. And to make a blanket statement that all single women are happier than all married women is ludicrous. And as I said, it's a myth. Utter load of bollocks.

Being single is really NOT always SO GREAT @Rowlinginthedeepanddeeper !

!

You can suit yourself what you do and nobody else is in your headspace.

Quit the mansplaining @Zov. Your bluster can't convince women that what they enjoy is wrong.

Take the bollocks you're throwing around back to the manosphere mate.

Exactly. I’m genuinely much happier single than I am when in a relationship and I haven’t been in a bad relationship yet but I still much prefer being single. I love the space and quiet and being able to do whatever I want when I like and many other aspects about it.

It isn’t for everyone but I actively choose to be single and love it. It’s been about 15 years now and I still enjoy it.

Oh I dunno.

That post is a perfect illustration of the delights that await women who don't want to be single.

After a long and tumultuous marriage I have been single for the last 3 years and intend to stay that way. Once the baby-making hormones vanished in my early 40s I could see no point in being with a man again. I did try dating though to make sure I wasn't kidding myself but it just confirmed that I was right. I also look at the generation above mine, my mum, her friends, my aunts etc. and the most unhappy ones are those who are married or living with a man. They all seem so weighed down and set in their way. The single/widowed ones have such full lives in comparison, so now I'm petrified of being stuck with some old fart in my old age and spend my last years looking after someone I can no longer stand.

True true! I stand willingly corrected.

I’m finding my feet after being single for a little while. I’m slowly finding delight in the small things like being able to what I want whenever I want to! Currently, I’m sat sunbathing at the beach, reading my book and listening to music. The last time I went with the ex, he grumbled the entire time. We ended up leaving early and I could have cried the entire way home. None of that this time round!!!

Nobody ruins my peace.

There are 100s of 1000s of women on dating sites, and quite often threads and posts online/on MN stating how lonely they are, and how fed up they are seeing couples all the time, and how envious they are of women having someone to share their life with.
They struggle financially alone, and struggle to make ends meet. Most single women are not on £125K to £150K a year, living in a swanky apartment in the city, with a large group of friends, and several men fighting over her, Most single women are not Bridget Jones! They have no man in their life, and have almost zero surplus income after the bills and outgoings.

@Zov - this was me in my mid-20s. OLD hadn't been invented then. I remember, grimly, 1994 (showing my age here), the big film was Four Weddings, Wet Wet Wet were Number One for months with the theme tune. I'd previously been in a really good house share with some female friends and had a good social life. But over the space of a year they all paired off, I ended up living on my own, only just scraping by financially, and struggling to keep busy at the weekends. Bank Holidays, in particular Easter, were hellish.

I didn't find it liberating

Things have moved on in 30 years. Fourth wave feminism for one. Dude-bro, red pill Tate shite for another. Men are a much less attractive option to women who are able to support themselves.

Not able to amuse yourself at the weekend? Hmmmm. That sounds like a you problem, not a lack-of-a-man problem.

There are prices to pay that are not financial.

Don’t forget not having to deal with In-laws…

I get a whole king size bed to myself.
Theres no drama.
I don’t have to plan my free time around anyone else or their dc.
I don’t have to 2nd guess or over think what someone else wants/feels/needs.
I can go where I like…buy what I like and eat what I like without justifying.
I can change my mind whenever I like without it impacting someone else.

I have friends (male and female), I don’t have to justify to a partner why I have make friends. I have hobbies, I go out and do things, I love eating alone and going for a walk alone. I can’t imagine being in a serious relationship again.

I posted the other day about how I was missing the intimacy (of all types) of a relationship. This thread is bringing me back down to earth regarding all the downsides. On balance I like my freedom and peace more than I want a partner.

Why are you so angry and upset about single women being happier? You seem triggered.

It’s actually a statistic that has been true since the nineteenth century when demographic data was first collected, that single women live longest. And married men lived longest - whether that latter is still true, I don’t know.
But for the nineteenth century, I guess the reason was that single women were not likely to die in childbirth. They also retained their independence and financial autonomy, never mind all the issues with domestic chores and childcare, unless you could afford servants. Of course if women had children out of wedlock, life was much more difficult, so at least we have moved on in that respect (although reading some of the posters on the ‘do you judge single mothers?’ thread, one may doubt this).
Sorry, I am piggy-backing on your post with that fact, but it’s interesting to consider.

That is interesting, I didn’t think about the history to it.

Please remember that things will get better as kids grow older.
Having young children is exhausting and you lose your identity and independence.
It will get better and please remember that ime, single parenthood is much harder (as long as your relationship is OK).
Take care OP

I think it’s more in comparison to the typical relationship with the typical man - living with someone selfish lazy or neglectful or even abusive is worse objectively than living alone or with a cat