Please tell me why being single is so great

[Rowlinginthedeepanddeeper]

I know statistically single women are the happiest; can you please tell me why? After a couple of not awful but mediocre relationships, my head is saying being single is a good option, but my heart and, frankly, my body/physical needs are saying otherwise.

Because fuck me, men are as a species vile creatures.

I’m sure there are plenty of exceptions to the rule, but I’m yet to marry one of them.

Because you can do what you want. Want to hold to an art gallery? Go. Want to go to a yoga class? Go. Don't want to watch Formula 1? Don't. Any mess is yours and no one else's. No snoring.

Plus it's easy to get vibratory of a whole range of styles these days.

I am sure there are many great things about being single, but I have been married over 25 years, and go to an art gallery whenever I want. Or a yoga class.
I married a man, not a jailer.

Just read the relationships board and then wander round your lovely single space appreciating the fact that none of those cunts are in it

I've been single for a long time. For me, as I got older and the "pressure" of wanting children disappeared, my desire to be in a relationship did too, mostly.

I'd be open to a relationship with the " right" man but he'd have to be very very right before I'd consider it.

It is easier to be spontaneous, the house stays as clean ( or as messy) as you leave it. I don't have to compromise on things like home decor or holiday destinations or discuss the viability of large expenditures. It really is all entirely up to me!

I think it has helped me develop more of a sense of self- who I am rather than being part of a couple - but the. I think I was slow to do this as a teenager so perhaps I'm just catching up.

Perhaps it makes you a bit selfish in some ways but it certainly helps things be more peaceful.

I would say that I sometimes would really like the space to be as messy as I want without having to consider anyone else.
Also DH does snore. And sneezes too loudly.

I have been in a relationship for over 20 years and do what I want, dh doesn’t control me 😳 although he does sometimes snore so there’s definitely that 😂

Op I’m sure there are so many positives to being single, you can decorate without taking someone else’s tastes into consideration. You can just decide on what you want to eat for dinner and have that. You don’t need to compromise on anything.

In terms of physical needs… I had a lot more & better sex before I got married. I’d say it’s not that uncommon either…

Men are handy for having kids. Once you've done that, or alternatively if you don't want to, it's hard to see their purpose. Most aren't particularly useful after fertilisation.

They have greater physical strength, but you can hire one for a particular project requiring that every now and then.

If you're hetero/bi, they're good for sex, but you don't need to keep them around forever cluttering up the place, for that. Just walk out your front door and you will find an abundance of willing cock - pick one, rinse and repeat.

Alot can depend on age really. I became unwell physically,long term ongoing sickness, had a child to try raise, so it forced the choice away for me. There was little choice but to try survive and bring a child up somehow.

After time I realised how much I loved it. And I do feel a little sad very very occasionally for about 2 seconds,but it's fleeting. The only thing I miss is the initial rush and excitement of a new guy; that's it.

My hormones probably aren't interested anymore either- probably very important.

On a reproduction level, I'm past it, so maybe that's why I don't want the shite that would come with all that? I appreciate for others they're happy coupled up even past menopause.

I have a troubled background which also means I feel significantly safer alone without the trials and tribulations of a partner.

I absolutely could not stomach being pumped on demand on a regular basis either. I would just go nuts at them. It's best all round this way 😆😘.

Happily single women are obviously the ones who haven't met "Mr Right" and have probably had a series of either bad or mediocre relationships which have caused them to question what positive things their various relationships have brought to the table. Some men are just hard bloody work. The great thing about about being single is you don't have to tolerate their bullshit - their insecurities, their previous relationship baggage, their untidiness, their misogynistic attitudes etc etc. I don't have a downer on men because I know some great men (all happily married and taken.) But with the rest, there comes a point where you realise that you are actually happier being a singleton. This is liberating. There's a big difference between being alone and lonely.

I know few couple that are actually happily married. I have no desire to live like that, and I think purposely seeking someone out makes it far more likely to be the case.

I am a happily single woman who does not aspire to meeting anyone, even a prospective Mr Right (but, then again, I am technically classed as asexual, if we're labelling things).

Benefits of being single include: I can starfish in bed if I want to. I'm a very light sleeper, so I don't have anyone waking me up throughout the night by doing anything as offensive as breathing on me, let alone snoring! I have as many pets as I like. My house can be as tidy/messy as I like it (it's tidier when I'm off work, which feels rare!). I can leave my arty things out on the dining table. I can go out and do whatever I like, or hide away at home. I eat whatever I want, even if it is sometimes just a bowl of cereal if I don't have the energy to cook when I come home. If my MH is having a bad day, I can deal with it on my own. I need quite a lot of alone time, and it is nice to sit down and relax after a long day at work. I can sit and read or make things without being disturbed. I do not find the fridge bare, or have to watch terrible TV (or even have a TV), or have men lurking around in their underwear and leaving socks and coffee mugs everywhere (I grew up with an older brother). I am not pressured into doing things that I don't want to. I make all of my decisions and (I'm aware that, to some, it sounds terribly selfish) I don't have to compromise on anything! Oh, and thanks to my job, I am stronger than some men, so I don't hurt anybody's feelings about being Little Miss Strong.

Also, for some men, the fact that I only work with men might be considered off-putting...

men lurking around in their underwear and leaving socks and coffee mugs everywhere

Oof.

This is ime the sad reality of sharing one's living space with a man. Dreadful.

Because there's a hell of a lot of awful men out there. Just look at the threads on here.

It's me who leaves socks and mugs everywhere. I am the messy one!

I had a lovely marriage (until it wasn't) and have been single now for 15 years. Initially it was because it was best for my DD, now it's because it's best for me. I don't want to compromise. I don't want to have to speak to someone else or ask how they are. I don't want to share my bed and I don't want feet touching me or on my coffee table. I don't want to have to factor someone into my very nice life and change one iota of it to accommodate someone else. There are no benefits for me to having a relationship and I would rather die alone eaten by my cats than have to stop watching Bake Off long enough for a tedious manecdote about their tedious day.

Happily single and don't feel the need to justify it as a way of life to anyone, day to day it's things like spontaneously planning my day, pursuing all sorts of new things and not having to answer to anyone about them! Being able to do a course or pick whatever side projects and goals you want.

You also develop more emotional and mental resilience, I have anyway. I've also developed more financial skills.

I'm at a point now where - if I change - I change for me, not to fit any mould.

House doesn't smell of farts
My money is mine to save/spend as I see fit, not discussed over how to use
I don't have to wash his grundies
I don't have to tidy up after a man child
I don't have to clean poo stains off the toilet bowl
I have my own schedule for work/dogs/gym
I can go wherever I want on holiday, whenever I want
I can decorate and accessorise my home as I see fit
My home is tidy

Can you tell I'm going through a divorce

No adult child to consider.
No men pissing on the toilet seat/floor.
No snoring.
A good nights sleep.
No negotiating about what to eat.
No one picking / judging.
No one else to consider for anything.
No one expecting the woman to do the bulk of domestic labour.
No one hogging the bed.
No one droning on about football / other stuff you can't even pretend to tolerate.
Controlling the thermostat.
No one dropping dirty clothes on the floor.
No need to let anyone know you'll be late home / going for a drink.
No one nagging that you've loaded the dishwasher wrong.
Not having to compromise on anything.
Can have friends over ad hoc.
No need to have sex just to appease him.
Can find a shag if you want (let's face it, sex isn't hard to find).
No mother in law.
Free to make plans without having to consider anyone else.
Being able to totally let yourself go IF you want to. OR to spend all evening on face packs / nails / beauty treatments without comment.
Watch whatever you want on the TV / listen to whatever music you like.
Get to drive yourself all the time without comment OR without letting some lunatic drive too fast / refuse to take directions.
Can get rat arsed without anyone commenting if you're so inclined.
Can slob out and drink wine in front of trash TV.
Indulge yourself with as many pets as you wish without negotiation.

I could literally go on and on. I've been in relationships my entire adult life until 3 years ago. WHY? I am so much happier single.

What kind of relationships have you been in?! I do what I want when I want. Sometimes DP joins, sometimes he doesn’t. The only restriction is he has less flexibility with annual leave than I do, so holiday planning is less ‘free’ than it used to be. Holidays with him that is, I still do a couple of solo trips / trips with just friends every year.

This. Vile creatures!!

Being single is heaven - you don’t have to put up with anyone’s shit, moods, sulks, attempts to control you, shitty little digs, sarcasm, gaslighting, loudness. Nobody pawing at you when you’re trying to go to sleep. No more racist / sexist comments. It’s bloody brilliant.

I think at a population level, women are still the ones who do most of the childcare and domestic stuff and have lower earning, part-time jobs and are basically the support people in a family. I say at a population level, because obviously that is not every woman’s experience, just more likely to happen to women.

So women are statistically happier and life longer single because they don’t have to deal with that, just themselves. As a single parent, I do deal with it all myself, but I know that and it’s not like I have a husband who everyone thinks is making my life easier (and in reality he is not). I have never had the good fortune to have a husband who pulls his weight and over time, that eats away at any relationship.

So to that extent, I have much preferred my years of being single to being married. However, now I am bored of being myself and started dating and actually I am liking that at the moment. I don’t want to go back to being entirely single just yet.

I've met a brilliant man who is unwaveringly kind, supportive, fun and house trained plus great sex and likes going on little adventures and doing active fun things while my kids are with their father.

I don't think I would ever live with a man that I haven't birthed ever again though. He sees a big future and I just... don't. Not because of him but because why would I want someone forever when I know my needs and desires will change over time?

I think living happily apart is the new way to go.
I was single for 12 years, raised my children alone, through choice.
Now l have probably become selfish and love my own routines, especially in the morning and evening, eating what l like, when l like, and not having to share my bed.
I met a man a year ago, we go cycling, walking, days out and away, he has his own house, we get on well but l have no intentions of making big changes.
being happily single is all about a healthy mindset. We are conditioned to feel we are lacking without a partner, when the reality is it can be a fantastic time for new growth.
I was married for 20 years, l have no regrets but that way of life wouldn't suit me now. .