Please tell me why being single is so great

[Rowlinginthedeepanddeeper]

I know statistically single women are the happiest; can you please tell me why? After a couple of not awful but mediocre relationships, my head is saying being single is a good option, but my heart and, frankly, my body/physical needs are saying otherwise.

It depends how old you are I think. When I was younger I needed relationships.
Now Im in my 60s I don't. Im much happier single, I have friends, a great social life and my own home. I also have zero sex drive post menopause. A man would not improve my life in any way.

We do need relationships- few people are happy without friends or family. We don't necessarily need a partner relationship. But I think we all need people we can laugh with, talk through problems with, be supported by. That doesn't mean we need to live with them or have sex.

I was single for 3 years before meeting DH and it was the happiest I’ve ever been. I had freedom to do what I wanted, move where I wanted for work, go on lots of holidays, eat what I wanted etc.

I’m now married with 2 young kids. While I love my family, I feel utterly trapped and my health and wellbeing has never been worse.

Aside from a few relationships over the years I’ve mainly been single. I like the idea of meeting someone but I think the reality of living with a man would be very different 😂 I like my life and I only want to meet someone that complements it, not makes it worse.

I believe this is the absolutely best approach for anyone who wants a bit of something. Even more so when there's a guy who isn't the father of your child. So messy.

So I can see how your set up could really appeal and work.

When they're older you can consider escaping. Yes I know it's nice for kids to have parents together who love each other. Yet, some women end up half dead through constant sacrifice.

I have been reading alot of Gabor Mate. I have significant autoimmune illnesses that have completely upended my life from age 30 onwards. He talks about the power in saying no, choosing guilt over resentment and the impact of that on helping improve your health and overall quality of life dramatically.

I understand right now with little children it's not an option to just leg it. Well it is, but I understand most won't want to do that.

I am completely free of resentment.
No one laying in bed until lunchtime while I do the running of the house.
No empty packets beside the TV or in the cupboard.
No snoring.
No coronation street torture.
The food in the fridge stays where it is. Assigned leftovers don’t disappear.
I do not feel like an unpaid maid.
I could go on, I might be here for some time though.

I have been single for just over 4 years having spent the last 25 years in 2 different long term relationships. I have honestly never been happier. I bought my first home this year and never will there be a man living here with me and my beautiful dog. If I was going to live with a man I envisage a beach house or a large place in the country with lots of land and space to get away from him lol. But seriously, if only I had known this peace I feel now when I was younger, life could have been a lot different.

Double post

No one risking being murdered by uttering the words "I have hoovered (tidied/made the bed/insert a job) FOR YOU"

I see it more as having a best friend these days. It's also harder once you own your own place as those are big fixed things that it's not easy to move to be with someone!

Actually no. I’m widowed. My dh was amazing, and after 2 really shit relationships he was the one who made it right.

4 years down the line and I’m very happily single. I’ve had my time and I’d give almost anything to have him back but it’s not to be and I don’t need any other man in my life to replace the man I had.

I prefer being in a good relationship than being single. It's nice to have support and someone to share your life with.

For me, the blunt truth is I just can't trust men anymore.
Being single protects my physical and mental health. It's sad I feel that way but the way I see it is that say you loved jumping out of planes, but every time you did you broke a leg or an arm, at some point you're going to stop jumping out of planes!

I make the most of being single. Does it beat being in a good relationship? No. But it definitely beats being in a bad one.

Totally agree. My mental health is so much better when I’m single and know where I stand. That’s not to say I don’t want a relationship but I’m not settling just so I can make society happy. I’ve said before, society really doesn’t like single women for some reason.

Becuase I like to spend a lot of time by myself

and I find the vast majority or men extremely tedious

and I just don’t miss sharing my life

I have my ds who shall be off to make his own life soon (yes I shall miss him) and I have my gorgeous cat and a job I love and great friends and some great family members

I just have no interest in having a partner or any kind of intimate relationship

This comment is utterly disgusting.

I thought it was a parody of how the manosphere talk about women? Or maybe I read too much into it.

I have to say, i've been in relationships on an off for much of my adult life.

I've never not been able to go to a yoga class. I Ve never not been able to go to an Art Gallery. In fact, most of my partners would probably have come with me or suggested we go.

My current partner and none of my other boyfriends would have wanted to watch formula one. Only one of my exes was a football fan.

I have to say, if you're with a partner or a husband in which you can't do what you want and pursue your own interests, you've chosen the wrong man. You've chosen an abuser.

Plenty of women do chose abusers. Mostly they aren't aware of that at the outset, mind you.

(I haven't. I've mostly been single. Never lived with anyone since I left shared houses in my 20s - but there are always compromises to be made - you might have to wait to have a long bath, because someone else is in the shower.)

Another widow here, nine years now. I loved my DH very much and we had a great marriage. I like the idea of male companionship but have not pursued it, even though DD thinks I'd crush OLD.
The very idea of sharing my home is not on, I like my space.
I would not be averse to a gentleman caller, but nothing more.

I think if you are an introverted woman, it feels such a privilege to live alone. I definitely value peace more as I get older and there is something so special about having a home (however modest) that is just yours. I also value not carrying the mental load of another person’s problems.

Personally, as I’ve got older the thought of having sex regularly with the same partner feels like a chore. I appreciate not everyone is the same with this though.

You know, introvert was an arbitrary term invented by carl jung in 1921? Doesn't mean what you think it does. What he actually said and what the theory actually was that most people are in the middle and have a tendency to prefer their own company or the company of others. It was never meant to be an extreme either way.

I find people who declare themselves to be introverted to be actually very selfish people who make their partner feel like rubbish and make them feel as if they are imposing on their lives.

Most people who declare themselves introverts would do what you do in just stop looking for a partner at all, just to make them feel like dirt.

Single about 8 years now and whilst in theory, I’d like someone to go on holiday with who isn’t my DD, my life is full enough thanks. I have loads of friends, DD, full work, hobbies and house of my own.
Actually a male friend came to stay the other night. He’s a really nice bloke and I think he’d like something more but even he, who is a genuinely nice guy, said something so fucking patronising it blew my mind away.

He had cause to go into my bedroom for something and noticed I have a bedside set up for hot drinks. This is because I like to have a coffee when I wake up at 5.30, before getting up to walk the dog. He said to me, “I don’t like to think of you up there wasting the day away drinking coffee in bed.” I was so taken aback I just explained that it was for the early morning. Of course the correct response should have been, “What fucking business is it of yours if I choose to drink coffee in bed during the day?”

Many aren’t vile (though agree lots are) but the vast majority are pathetic and don’t really add to your life.
@Rowlinginthedeepanddeeper , freedom, not being dragged down, not having to baby a grown adult, not being taken for granted, increased self confidence, self reliance, more time for you and your wants and needs, honesty the list is endless.

Sometimes I miss having someone to rely on, but good friends are generally better than most romantic partners I’ve had for that anyway. Physically, well that does fade over the years but if you want to date casually why not , though again most men are selfish in bed so it’s rarely as good as you might hope.