Responding to “mansplaining”

[Whitehorses67]

Do you have a useful strategy?

I think my being middle aged and visibly disabled has brought it out in spades and every other man I meet makes it his mission to give me the unasked for benefit of his wisdom on the bleeding obvious.

I just tend to say oh really and see how far they will go whilst inwardly laughing at them but sometimes I get fed up and would like to have of a good way of shutting it down without simply saying shut up you arrogant twat or similar.

"Did you actually just mansplain...x...to me?"

My response is usually something like, "Are you telling me that because you think I don't know it already, or just checking with me if you've got it right?"

Love this thread already - very keen to read your suggestions. Thanks, OP.

This is a wonderful put down. I don't know if it could be adapted for your purposes, OP. (Will appear in a few seconds after the customary MN image check.)

It depends if it's actual mansplaining (as in, I'm an actual expert in the thing they're explaining to me) or if they're explaining 'common sense' things to me.

If it's the former, I like to go with something like:

"Gosh, well done you educating yourself in X. I spent 12 years studying X / wrote the book on Y and it's so rare to find someone who's got a grasp of the basics. What are your thoughts on <insert very niche sub-topic here>?"

If it's the latter:

"Can I ask you something? You're the 8th person today to explain something really basic to me. What is it about me, exactly, that made you think I wouldn't know that?"

I also go with ‘oh, really?’ … or if I’m feeling particularly arsey I’ll just smile and nod and play dumb, and then say something along the lines of, ‘oh I remember having that more simplistic view of it all before I learnt more about the topic! Come back to me when your information is more up to date and we can have a proper discussion about it.’ (Admittedly I’ve only done this a few times with very insufferable men, but I’ve always felt like an absolute badass when I do!)

I’d take the piss - ‘thanks for mansplaining’ or ‘did you enjoy mansplaining that?’

Love this response 😂

Do you always assume that the person you are speaking to knows less about X than you do?

Ace . Straight to the point whilst holding their attention with a steely stare😂

Love this!!!!!!

‘Yes, dear’.

Think this thread is going to be enlightening and entertaining.

Why do you think I don't know that?

Or ‘did you just man-explain that to me?’ and wait.

Depending on the situation the best thing to do is pretend you didn’t hear anything they just said. Works great on Teams calls
“Oh I’m sorry I missed all that I was on another call.”
“Sorry I zoned out after ‘insert second word’”
“Sorry your connection went bad 2 secs in”
“Sorry what did you say I fell asleep?”
In person, the ideal scenario is once they have finished their lengthy monologue to flick your hair back and pull out your earbuds and say “I’m sorry we’re you saying something?”
If it’s a lengthy mansplain in the past
ive said things like “yeah I lost interest half way through sorry” and just move on like it never happened.

I love this, though I have yet to try it myself

“Great job! You’re on your way to understanding * that I have understood for years!”

My regular go-to is a very loud, "THANK YOU RANDOM MAN".

Also enjoy, "Thank god there is a man here to explain this IN HIS OWN WORDS".

Finally, "Isn't that exactly what I just said?"

The shorter the answer the better, and I've always found this works well:

"No shit, Sherlock."

I have a special heavy sigh that I reserve for occasions like mansplaining.

Never underestimate the power of the type of passive aggressive sigh that only a middle aged woman can deliver.
A well timed, "Pah!" is also a winner.

I just figured out something, the only very noticeable times i have been mansplained... it was by a woman! The experiences were so distinctive that I often puzzle over them. Two of the 3 experiences were in bicycle shops. I must bring out the "inner mansplainer" in other women.

Going by the definition below, which is says "condescending and patronising"

"the explanation of something [omitting the gender diffs because the key problem is the next words] in a manner regarded as condescending or patronizing."

I find a Paddington Hard Stare and an awkward silence works best.

Either:

a sarcastic 'mmmhmm'
'did you really just mansplain that to me?'
'thanks for the mansplaination'

would love some wittier responses though.

I find a Paddington Hard Stare and an awkward silence works best.

Useful in so many situations!