Responding to “mansplaining”

[Whitehorses67]

Do you have a useful strategy?

I think my being middle aged and visibly disabled has brought it out in spades and every other man I meet makes it his mission to give me the unasked for benefit of his wisdom on the bleeding obvious.

I just tend to say oh really and see how far they will go whilst inwardly laughing at them but sometimes I get fed up and would like to have of a good way of shutting it down without simply saying shut up you arrogant twat or similar.

I would hope that even as an external contractor you would act in a professional manner and any complaints would be done through that correct channels and if you don't get the response that you want then you don't accept contracts form them and if the reverse they don't offer contracts to you.

The other day I found myself saying "Why are you telling me this?". It was very effective.

I’ve tried but I can’t work out what this means, please can you explain?

I definitely feel you need to be aware of the situation before answering too strongly. I had a colleague who seemed to be mansplaining regularly but realised he talked the same way to men as well. It was just his way of thinking things through, and by his other actions he showed he respected and valued my opinion, even on the very subjects he had expanded on to me.

Agreed and they are belittling a woman when they mansplain something. Most recently, I experienced this when on a course, 50% very experienced colleagues, 50% brand new. I have no idea why the provider decided to amalgamate the two groups (cost??) but the mansplaining made my entire table-all experienced, they didn't make us mix so we sat with people we knew-groan.

Professor Stock is a philosopher. She was explaining a philosophical concept. The other person is a barrister with a very high opinion of himself who admitted to not understanding her fairly straightforward explanation. She effectively patted him on the head and told him not to worry about it.

*Male but identifies as a woman - I use sex-based pronouns.

Thinking about it, I'd go with something along the lines of "Is there anything in particular that made you think I didn't know that?".

This thread shows how difficult it is to handle mansplaining well/challenge it, and it shouldn't be this way.

I am a 60 year old woman
I am at pretty much the top of my game
I do not give a shit if one client does not hire me back
Others are queueing up for my services
I turn down more work than I accept

Mansplainers get what they deserve
and more women need to be less 'kind'

I read somewhere on SM that you should treat it like when a child tells you something to make themselves look clever
"Oh well done Buddy, good job"

This is brilliant!

Thanks, I normally consider my comprehension skills to be above average (lol) but I couldn’t quite get who was saying what to whom. 😳
I am a fan of Professor Stock and share her(and your) GC views btw.

Laughing sometimes works, then saying something like oh I thought you were joking, why did you repeat what I just said?

I think this is the best one

And just putting a link to this flowchart of mansplaining here www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20180727-mansplaining-explained-in-one-chart

This was less "mansplaining" and more just you being a dick to some poor guy because he made a lame joke!

@JackRobinson
Yes I did say it wasn't mansplaining. You must have missed that bit. It sounds like i touched a nerve with you though.

Mansplaining doesn't necessarily happen at work though, does it?

I had to give DH a 'look' yesterday. The company I work for has a motor racing customer which manufactures parts for F1 cars. We were watching the Grand Prix yesterday and I happened to say to DH "Oh, that team is one of our customers. They manufacture the high-performance powertrains." He looked slightly baffled so I asked him whether he knew what a high-performance powertrain is. He then started to mansplain to me what a high-performance powertrain was. Doh. I only work for the company that sells them the components to make the bloody things.

no it does not always happen at work.

Is this "mansplaining" or answering your question?

Stop them before they get further than a sentence.

Hold your hand up, and say I’m going to have to stop you there, Jeremy.’

‘Why?’

’No reason. I’m just stopping you.’

Or say virtually anything that Sr Michael from Derry Girls might say.

Eh? You've lost me.

I just keep repeating that I know.

"Can I just stop you for a moment there?"

And then walk off.

I am 50 and have no fucks to give. I either say, did you just mansplain my job to me? Or, yeah I used to think that too before I realised how complex this is.

The one time I called it out, the man (a friend) unfriended me on social media. Sums it up really 🙄