Vegetarian not catered for

[ParrotsAteThemAll]

Invited to a bbq this afternoon, just had the message they haven’t got any vege burgers/meat alternatives. Of course I could buy my own, but why should I? The meat eaters will be having burgers, sausages, chicken whilst, yet again, I’ll be offered a salad and bun.

This happens all the time and for years I just accepted it, as I was the awkward one. I’ve mostly had to cook my own too, usually in the house as the host ‘doesn’t know how to cook a vege burger’! Surely this day it’s easy to grab something vege from any supermarket, big or small. I’m not even fussy what brand!

I’ve bought a nice bottle of wine for the host and a nice dessert to take, tempted not to take it now. Of course I’ll go enjoy the company, probably eat beforehand,

Any other veges find this frustrating, or should we accept we’re the difficult ones and take our own food?

It's kind of weird of them not to have anything you could eat, apart from a measly salad roll. Meat eaters like vegetable side dishes too. With a decent selection nobody would be fretting about whether there was a disc of processed whatever as a meat free alternative. Still, as a veteran of old school beige buffets, it doesn't surprise me.
It's really quite dispiriting to munch grimly at a lettuce bun while everyone else tears into barbecued flesh. But at least the smell puts me off my food.
I don't get invited to many barbecues. I wonder why?

If it’s a BBQ, I always say I’ll bring something do you don’t have to worry. Veggie skewers, halloumi and marinaded overnight. I’m not vegetarian I’ve just been scarred by a burnt on the outside raw on the inside incident that went south quickly and badly. I prefer not to talk about.

I guess part of the problem is that veggie likes and dislikes are as varied as meat eaters likes and dislikes and if you’re not familiar with your vegetarian’s preferences it can be a bit of a minefield. As a meat eater I know that a barbecue will be mostly burgers and sausages which are fine but I wouldn’t eat them at home - maybe some chicken skewers if I’m lucky.

My DD is vegetarian. She hates ‘fake’ meat, cheese, peppers, and mushrooms, so she wouldn’t eat any of the food mentioned above. I usually make her chickpea burgers with a chilli or curry paste and bake them in tinfoil on a barbecue. They comes out like falafel and are lovely, but if you’re not familiar with veggie food it’s a bit of a minefield. I guess they could have asked you what you’d like to eat, or you could have told them when they invited you.

I wouldn’t make any demands, but well done you for being so offended by nothing 🤣

I think the host should provide a vegetarian option. It’s hardly a niche thing in this day and age. I was vegetarian for years and found it irritating and a bit humiliating when my food was seen as an afterthought - as if I was being awkward. It’s not as if it has to be anything very elaborate, but a burger bun and salad is pathetic. And leaving you to bring your own food AND cook it is also pathetic. When I have guests, I want them to feel like I actually give a stuff about them. Halloumi burgers are gorgeous. Although I eat meat now, I’d choose halloumi or a bean burger over beef or chicken any day of the week.

That's very rude and inconsiderate. How rude of them to invite you and just casually inform that there is no food for you. What are you expected to do? I would be assertive and ask, how come? And make it known that you are quite hurt by their behaviour. From your post it seems this is a regular occurrence. Do they not consider you a friend? I have never taken my own food, if i have been invited to a friend's house party.

The veges and vegans I know would just take their own. I live in another country and mostly BBQs are bring and share events which means I would just take my own choice. Salads and sides made by the host but if they were catering completely I would just take my own to be safe.

What veggie sausages do you use? I recently cooked some M&S veggie sausages for Gds’ birthday party - as requested by dd for any Muslims/Hindus/veggies - in addition to the usual ‘best’ pork sausages on sticks,

The veggie ones were honestly pretty dire! I really hate wasting food but hardly anyone ate them - most ended in the food waste bin.

Unless they have two barbeque grills it's hard to cater for vegetarians at a BBQs as most vegetarians wouldn't be happy to have their vegi food on the same grill as the meat. Having said that if I was hosting I would probably cook some veg burgers/sausages in the kitchen.Or offer some cold veggie food

I would be annoyed for you OP and I m not vegetarian but always have vegetarian side dishes on offer.

Also I would make sure I had vegetarian burgers for you. That's just bad hosting

Definitely leave the dessert and drink at home

I think if you invite a vegan/vegetarian or someone with intolerances then you cater for them

Otherwise you're telling them that they're not important to you

And it's rude

I wouldn't go.

That sounds delicious. I do eat meat but that menu sounds a lot nicer than burgers and sausages!

This happens to me all the time at BBQs. I basically end up bringing my own.

I was once on a two night coach tour and the organisers claimed to have lost the information saying I was vege. It was packed lunch style meals at lunch and they basically said can’t you just eat a plain ham sandwich but take out the ham 🙄

Or, strangely, the other thing I get is when there is a vege alternative the meat eaters will decide it’s the best thing at the event.

I was at a bbq where I was the only vegetarian and everyone else had vege sausage. On the one hand not a problem but if the veg bits run out it’s not like I can switch over to their meat!

You need better friends. It is the height of laziness and downright rude to not cater for all of their guests.

I wouldn't take a contribution at all if they can't be bothered to cater for you.

I always check dietary requirements and preferences when I invite people to eat. To not do so is poor hosting.

Doesn't sound like a very good bbq if I'm being honest.

Regardless of all the meat. I'd expect some side dishes too e.g. potatoes. Pasta dishes- easily bought from the supermarket, maybe quiche. . Etc.

They should be plenty enough for others to pick at even if not having the meat.

They don't need to be cooking the fake meat burgers. But I would expect side dishes at any decent bbq that should be able to cater for the vegetarians.

Quorn sausages
LMc halloumi burgers

both the best in my opinion

But we don’t do all the expensive brands so I can’t compare with them.

It was really odd - and now the pp mentioned maybe they didn’t actually want me there!

but at any rate I don’t think it’s all that hard to pick up a pack of Linda McCartney sausages if you are hosting a bbq. If they don’t wish to cater for you feel you are well within rights not to bring a dessert

I think that’s incredibly rude and inhospitable of them. I despair when I read these threads, do people really not know the basic rules of entertaining or are they just terminally lazy?

I would hold back on the nice wine OP. they don’t deserve it!

My friends buy an instant bbq for allergy food. It doesn’t take much to cater

I agree. I nice bottle of wine for the host is for when they have hosted. In this case they clearly haven't, so keep the wine for yourself.

They are being arses. It’s never been easier to cook veggie food! Veggie skewer/ with halloumi? Loads of veggie sausage and burger options.

the dessert but keep your wine!! You need better friends…

I always cater for vegans and gluten because it's always needed.

My daughter is a vegetarian, she doesn't like meat alternatives. We always do a veggie option. Grilled parmesan aubergines, potato salad, roasted vegetable skewers maybe an olive bread with a greek salad as a side. I would be offended if we were eating at someone's house and they "forgot" to cater for a vegetarian.