Should men be allowed on post-natal wards?

[Kibble19]

This is off the back of another thread from a woman who is very concerned about the presence of unknown men on the post-natal ward at hospital.

I had my child during the pandemic so have no experience of normal practices in post-natal wards, and I appreciate they may vary from Trust to Trust.

When I had my baby, I was on the post-natal ward for several days (PPH, sepsis pathway joy). There were three visiting times each day, one hour each. Partners had to call the ward the day before to book their slot the next day, for social distancing purposes. I had no choice but to just manage on my own, as did the other women there.

Should we have a system like that (minus the need to book your visit) instead of the very wide open hours that many hospitals seem to have? Specific hours for visiting (with all visitors gone by, say, 7pm) only? No men or family members overnight?

1 in 4 women in England & Wales has suffered domestic abuse, so there must be many women who are anxious about the presence of men when they’ve had their baby.

Partners seem to be doing most of the nursing so they have to be there, until postnatal care is seen as a priority for staffing and investment.

I gave birth outside the UK and didn't need my partner overnight because there were enough nurses to help me. They even took the baby for a few hours and brought her back changed and ready to feed.

That is very much the case at the local hospital where I used to live

Basically there's a hospital near me that allows partners to stay
And one that doesn't near

I'm trying to figure out if the one that doesn't near where i am now, is likely to be the same as the one where I used to live (where most of my friends gave birth)

I'm not adverse to partners not staying especially if we had significant time but wouldn't want them gone within the hour if I gave birth at the "wrong" time!

My baby is 8 days old.
I had a traumatic birth, PPH, intravenous antibiotics and I could not have imagined how much harder it would have been without my partner there.
He was up with me, 3am pot noodles and hot chocolates, he was amazing and everything I needed.
However, the man in the bay opposite could have thrown himself out the window for all I cared, making phone calls in the middle of the night, hacking up snot in the communal sink, lying there snoring while his poor wife was struggling.

This topic has seriously been done to death. The solution is everyone having their own room. I don't want to share a room with anyone really

Not allowing dads there starts the early cycle of women being the primary caregivers in my opinion. We chose our hospital partly because my wife could stay for the duration. I accept it’s different as we are both female, but we completely 50/50 parent and it is important that starts from when baby arrives.

I’d say daytime yes, overnight no. This won’t be ideal for everyone but I think it’s the best balance of privacy and involvement.

Ah that was what I was trying to see what the norm is for partners to be allowed to stay immediately post birth if you give birth out of visiting hours in a hospital that doesnt allow partners to stay.

I've been slightly horrified by friends/ family stories of less than 2 hours post birth

After my general anaesthetic delivery my DH stayed with me overnight in delivery where I hallucinated and was generally very ill. I needed him there and he didn't want to leave me. Many women on the post natal ward had traumatic births and babies in NICU, if you can share the emotional load it's most definitely a good thing.

No reasonable person would want them banned outright, I think you’ve misunderstood that @Ginnygi.

However, ideally there would be safe effective nursing :patient ratio. Fathers do not need to be present overnight on a ward full of newly delivered women and tiny babies. However, during the day is different but obviously fathers’ behaviours should be unobtrusive to allow a calm, safe and nurturing post natal ward environment).

Err this. I had twins, a c section and lots of swelling (start of pre-eclampsia) so getting out of bed was hard. Twin 2 was super hungry and my husband got sent home at 8pm. It was the worst night of my life. Got discharged less that 26 after the birth as l couldn't face another night there

It makes me chuckle men have minor procedures and get so cosseted. My favourite was the guy on a twin forum who took a week off work after a vasectomy. Surprised he admitted it -l wouldn't in his shoes

You've hit the nail on the heads there. They allow it because they know partners can perform some of the tasks that nurses and midwives used to do but now there aren't enough of them. I understand about men being around on a post natal ward can make people feel uncomfortable especially when you are in a vulnerable state of mind due to exhaustion, lack of sleep etc but I personally needed my partner around both times as I was in a bad way. I needed the support and I wouldn't have got it from the midwives. I live in a big city and maternity units are very busy and very stretched. I can't see anything changing anytime soon. I think if it was a big issue for someone they could request a private room for a few that's what I was told.

Anyone with that attitude towards women's privacy and safety concerns has no place on a women's ward at any time.

I hadvmy youngest 18 years ago, no visitors in the morning, no one stayed overnight. I think this was necessary to enable us to sleep, to give the staff time to follow up with mothers and babies.

There were 8 new mothers on my ward, and we helped each other out, keeping an eye on the baby so mum could go to the toilet, chatting and admiring each others babies.

I would have hated to have open visiting, and partners staying over, even if couples are talking softly, a curtain doesn't exactly dampen down the noise.

There's a privacy aspect too - I was establishing breastfeeding so was boobs out a lot of the time, and was very comfortable as among women and medical professionals, at least till 1pm. Then there was the bleeding through the giant pads, and stained nightdresses.

Visit yes, sleep over, no. They’re not patients.

That's how it should be.

DS1 was born 18 years ago and even back then the buzzers were mostly ignored. A few of us ended up limping around at 3 am helping a mother who was wheeled up after her c-section and left to fend for herself.

One of the main reasons I had a homebirth the second time was the postnatal ward. They are just not conductive to recovery... and unfortunately the behaviour of some men are part of that.

Not overnight. Last thing you want when you've given birth is to share a room with random farting snoring men.

Don’t know. Had my baby during Lockdown.

So glad there was no visitors before the birth.
I was on the prenatal ward for two days.

Honestly, it’s a place for medical professionals.

DH was at the birth, called in close to delivery.
He was allowed to visit for one hour per day.

I was on the postnatal ward for a couple days.
All I needed was the doctors & the midwives.

Wasn’t easy after a c-section, but it suited me.

My first was born in 2021 and all partners were only allowed to stay 2-8pm. We had to stay in for 3 nights and it was tough but we survived.

When I had my second in 2024, partners were allowed to stay overnight. My husband couldn’t as he went home to our older one. Another 3 nights and it was frankly horrific being in a room with 3 men staying overnight. They used the toilet in the ward despite being told repeatedly by midwives not to. Had loud phone conversations on speaker at all hours, scrolling though apps without headphones, even playing video games without headphones.

We were in longer than others so probably 6 women and partners changed over while we were there, and at least 4 of the men were loud, rude completely disrespectful of the other women on the ward.

Of course they should.

I was so thankful my partner could stay after the birth of my daughter as she was born 2 months early and was sent to the NICU. Being stuck on the postnatal ward with no baby, alongside other women with their babies, was so, so hard. It was awful and I couldn’t have got through it without my partner.

I was also pretty sore post c-section and needed his assistance to pop to the loo and to take my expressed colostrum to the fridge and NICU.

Eww.

As a life long feminist, I cannot support your view. Not all men are trouble, most are not.

Well I'd want him on my team

Patients shouldn't be expected to look after other patients on a ward.

I wouldn’t have managed without my DH there as I couldn’t move after a difficult delivery, I couldn’t pick up baby to feed, he gave her to me and I could hardly change nappies. There were few staff around to help- most were dealing with emergencies. So perhaps a good solution would be to give women the option to be on a mixed or no visitors allowed ward. Personally I couldn’t have managed without my DH and didn’t have any female family members around to help. But I understand some people are uncomfortable with this.