Should men be allowed on post-natal wards?

[Kibble19]

This is off the back of another thread from a woman who is very concerned about the presence of unknown men on the post-natal ward at hospital.

I had my child during the pandemic so have no experience of normal practices in post-natal wards, and I appreciate they may vary from Trust to Trust.

When I had my baby, I was on the post-natal ward for several days (PPH, sepsis pathway joy). There were three visiting times each day, one hour each. Partners had to call the ward the day before to book their slot the next day, for social distancing purposes. I had no choice but to just manage on my own, as did the other women there.

Should we have a system like that (minus the need to book your visit) instead of the very wide open hours that many hospitals seem to have? Specific hours for visiting (with all visitors gone by, say, 7pm) only? No men or family members overnight?

1 in 4 women in England & Wales has suffered domestic abuse, so there must be many women who are anxious about the presence of men when they’ve had their baby.

😂

Didn’t even state my opinion, so I’m not sure what you’re disagreeing with.

I think you mean matriarchy.

Um no, I don't think she does.

What are women who are unable to pick up their newborns or walk unassisted to the bathroom supposed to do?

Yes, during visiting hours. Not overnight, though. And visitor numbers should be restricted too.

I disagree with even the suggestion that men shouldn’t be there, to be honest.

I gave birth in a hospital where partners were not allowed to stay past visiting hours. You just pressed the button for the nurse if you needed help.

Obviously, with the way the NHS is now, this wouldn't work so well.

Fair comment.

Not sure if it’s a thing everywhere but visitor numbers absolutely were restricted at the hospital I had my daughter at last year and I know our other 2 local hospitals are the same as I looked into both when deciding where to give birth this time.

Your birthing partner can stay throughout but for other visitors it is 2 hours morning, 2 hours afternoon, and a maximum of 3 people at once which includes your birthing partner.

Allowed yes of course but I don't think all day and night. I had my baby during the pandemic and there were shorter daytime visiting hours and no overnights. I don't think I'd have been as relaxed and rested on a packed ward with overnight visitors.

I had birth injuries and was on sepsis watch too. It wasn't fun or particularly easy and maybe I'd have felt differently if I had to stay in longer, but I really wouldn't have enjoyed shuffling past loads of extra people to get to the bathroom to clean up, noise etc.

Not being able to stay overnight didn't affect DH's involvement with baby or caring for me.

I really think it's the bit that's forgotten about

Its assumed you'll have lovely family time in the delivery suite then move into the postnatal ward when you are good and ready. The stories now coming out of our local hospital with restricted visiting do not seem like this is much of an option any more.

it is increasingly becoming common for people to be hurried out of the delivery suites onto wards within the hour or so. And if you happen to give birth at 8pm, moved in to the ward at 9pm? Well then you are abandoned for 12 hours, fathers ushered home until 9am the next day

I completely see the rationale to restrict it back in the good old days where you'd of spent time together, had a nap, shower etc in the delivery room, then be wheeled on to the ward where there were ample staff to support your baby (or indeed where babies were in nurseries), pass babies to you, get you a drink or help you to the loo.

However that is not the case anymore

Yes, of course men should be allowed on post-natal wards. I don’t think that should include overnight though personally, not if it’s to the detriment of the women there. I’m booked in for a C-section this week and will be sending my husband home at night because he snores like a freight train and I won’t subject everyone to that! I also gave birth during covid - it was right at the start and so no visitors were allowed at all. That was tough, but the night was really peaceful.

This would be my main concern,

I gave birth last year and although the staff on the postnatal ward were absolutely amazing, so I’m not at all slating them, there simply wasn’t enough of them to even keep up with the obs, medications & urgent issues that they had to do nevermind if there were no partners there so they were also having to pass babies over, change nappies/outfits/pads, help women to & from the toilet, fill water jugs etc.

My husband didn’t stay any of the three times I was in. He came by for an hour here or there across the 3 days.
Most women had partners with them the entire duration of their stay. I couldn’t fathom it. They were loud (talking lots! And snoring all the time!!) unhelpful and took up loads of space.
I had sections each time and others hadn’t but seemed to think they needed their partners help with every nappy.

anyway, yes I would be v happy if they only were present part of the day not continuously

I pushed mine into the toilet in the bassinet - it also worked as a walking aid. It was harder getting the the breakfast stand in the morning when the midwives offered to keep an eye on her and I had to walk unaided.

My daughter recently had a baby. I was very pleasantly surprised to find out that men are no longer allowed to stay on the wards overnight. Normal visiting was till 8pm (with a maximum of 3 visitors) and partners had to leave by midnight.

Agree with those mentioning the lack of post-delivery blissful family time.

God, in my case, it was a major haemorrhage protocol, a crash trolley and being fired through to HDU for a transfusion. No toast at all either. 😣

I would have liked my DH there the whole time actually, i could hardly move after my first birth and it would have been very useful to have him there to help me.
I think more single rooms are the answer, but with the state of the NHS right now I think that is a pipe dream

I don’t think men should be on the ward overnight. The needs of the women and babies to peace and privacy come first.

Ideally, you'd be able to book into a 'family friendly' ward with random dhs/dps wandering about at all hours, possibly making themselves useful, but too bad if someone else's takeaway eating, toilet crapping, noisy, gawping dickhead is annoying you, OR 'quiet wards' where everyone who isn't a new mother or a baby gets yeeted by 9pm.

I know which I would have preferred, but I get that for other women YMMV. So the option would be great...if apparently unachievable on the NHS.

I don’t agree. Not all men are pricks and I wouldn’t be happy to suffer without my DH helping me when I was going through a traumatic time!

This. My husband was limited to an hour long visit, when I gave birth to my first DC during COVID. The prospect of not seeing him at all would have severely damaged my (already fragile) perinatal MH.

Of course!

How can anyone think it's acceptable to prevent one parent from seeing their baby just because they have a d*ck between their legs?

I had my daughter 23 years ago and at that time all visitors were expected to leave by eight pm to ensure new mums and babies had a quiet night and sleep. Back then there were enough health care assistants to help new mums with their babies if they needed it. Judging by the sad state of the NHS generally now that might not be the case anymore