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Original poster

Experiences of giving a family member a loan

113 replies

BlueHug · 29/07/2025 22:50

Does anyone here have experiences of giving a family member a loan?

I don't want to go into too much details. A close family member and his partner asked me for a loan. I wanted to help. I have an online account with revolut so I topped that account up with funds.

They said that they don't get paid for another two weeks.

I am very anxious now that maybe something might happen where I maybe I might not get this money back.

The partner is foreign and using some other things. I witnessed the shopping and I just think if they needed a loan from me surely maybe they could have shopped around for more better value. Like spending 85 pounds on a cutlery set when Tesco or Asda would have more better value.

I am just anxious that maybe I won't get this money back.

OP posts:
SkintSingleMumm · 29/07/2025 22:58

How much have you lent them?

Original poster
BlueHug · 29/07/2025 23:09

SkintSingleMumm · 29/07/2025 22:58

How much have you lent them?

  1. There's more than half of this spend in just 2 days. I think if they had issues they could have gone smaller with the spending.
OP posts:
Original poster
BlueHug · 29/07/2025 23:10

That didn't post properly. 2000 pounds.

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

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General money
wonderstuff · 29/07/2025 23:13

I think it can end really badly, sorry. If it could be avoided I would be reluctant to borrow or lend money to family or friends.

crookkkkk · 29/07/2025 23:15

Ask them to set up direct debit to pay you back. It cuts out the stress of them forgetting and you asking!

SkintSingleMumm · 29/07/2025 23:16

What exactly was their reason for borrowing?

Original poster
BlueHug · 29/07/2025 23:17

That's exactly what I did. I took out a loan to lend to them.

Now I am just so nervous that I might now get this back.

I saw some of the purchases. They are setting up a new home. There was 120 pounds spent on a duvet when other shops would have more budget friendly ones.

OP posts:
SkintSingleMumm · 29/07/2025 23:18

So this is not your savings, you've taken out a loan on their behalf?

Original poster
BlueHug · 29/07/2025 23:18

SkintSingleMumm · 29/07/2025 23:16

What exactly was their reason for borrowing?

They are setting up a new home

OP posts:
tinageta · 29/07/2025 23:19

I would bet 2000 that you will not see the money back, sorry.

Original poster
BlueHug · 29/07/2025 23:19

SkintSingleMumm · 29/07/2025 23:18

So this is not your savings, you've taken out a loan on their behalf?

I do have some money in my bank account but I don't want to touch that.

I took out a loan to lend to them.

OP posts:
SkintSingleMumm · 29/07/2025 23:21

do not do this ever again in the future for anyone regardless of sob story. £2k is a lot of money. I hope you get it back. If not draw a line under it and learn a lesson. No more help moving forwards

Original poster
BlueHug · 29/07/2025 23:22

tinageta · 29/07/2025 23:19

I would bet 2000 that you will not see the money back, sorry.

There's something in my gut feeling this now. I didn't see it at first though. I think there is flippant spending. 85 pounds on a cutlery set when Amazon has some for 30 or 40 pounds. I think there could have been some better savings. That's all.

OP posts:
YouBelongWithMe · 29/07/2025 23:22

Do they know you took out a loan?!?! Why did they not take out a loan independently?

This screams that you'll never see this money again.

How close a family member are we talking?

CharSiu · 29/07/2025 23:23

You made a massive mistake unfortunately, never ever lend money to anyone. You are liable for the loan so you have to pay it back otherwise it will affect your credit rating. Plus legal ramifications for recovery. If they don’t is there any other family member who will back you up?

Original poster
BlueHug · 29/07/2025 23:23

SkintSingleMumm · 29/07/2025 23:21

do not do this ever again in the future for anyone regardless of sob story. £2k is a lot of money. I hope you get it back. If not draw a line under it and learn a lesson. No more help moving forwards

I won't be able to lose this money.

OP posts:
Original poster
BlueHug · 29/07/2025 23:24

Brother and his partner.

OP posts:
Original poster
BlueHug · 29/07/2025 23:25

CharSiu · 29/07/2025 23:23

You made a massive mistake unfortunately, never ever lend money to anyone. You are liable for the loan so you have to pay it back otherwise it will affect your credit rating. Plus legal ramifications for recovery. If they don’t is there any other family member who will back you up?

I just think there could have been better value with some of the things that they are buying. That's all.

I don't know if they are going to appreciate this and pay me back.

OP posts:
Original poster
BlueHug · 29/07/2025 23:26

Surely they have spend enough over the past few days, wouldn't that be enough until they get paid.

OP posts:
YouBelongWithMe · 29/07/2025 23:26

How do they plan to pay you back?

BreadInCaptivity · 29/07/2025 23:27

Did you tell them you had to get a loan?

Original poster
BlueHug · 29/07/2025 23:27

YouBelongWithMe · 29/07/2025 23:26

How do they plan to pay you back?

They said that they dont get paid for another two weeks. That's all I was told.

OP posts:
YodasHairyButt · 29/07/2025 23:29

Never ever lend more than you are willing to write off. I think you may be about to learn a very hard lesson. I hope they don’t punish you for your kindness.

CarpetKnees · 29/07/2025 23:31

To answer your question. Yes, I've lent money to family members, to save them paying extortionate interest rates. BUT it was for something specific, and they set up a standing order immediately, and we'd discussed how they were going to pay it back in advance, and they were completely trusted to not be spending rashly on things they didn't need to. They had previously got everything they needed for their home on either FB Marketplace or free local giving sites. Plus is was money I had in savings and if some disaster happened that they couldn't pay it back or missed a payment, it wouldn't be a disaster for me.

You should NEVER lend anyone anything you can't afford to lose.
You should NEVER lend anyone anything without knowing the ins and outs of why it was needed.
You should NEVER lend anyone anything without discussing how they were paying it back.
Unless you are actually happy for it to be a gift.

Zoraflora · 29/07/2025 23:31

Ask them to set up a direct debit on their payday so you can make repayment on the loan.
I would be very clear with both of them that its a loan in your name and it needs to be repaid.