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Original poster

Experiences of giving a family member a loan

113 replies

BlueHug · 29/07/2025 22:50

Does anyone here have experiences of giving a family member a loan?

I don't want to go into too much details. A close family member and his partner asked me for a loan. I wanted to help. I have an online account with revolut so I topped that account up with funds.

They said that they don't get paid for another two weeks.

I am very anxious now that maybe something might happen where I maybe I might not get this money back.

The partner is foreign and using some other things. I witnessed the shopping and I just think if they needed a loan from me surely maybe they could have shopped around for more better value. Like spending 85 pounds on a cutlery set when Tesco or Asda would have more better value.

I am just anxious that maybe I won't get this money back.

OP posts:
Original poster
BlueHug · 30/07/2025 13:59

ComfortFoodCafe · 30/07/2025 13:05

Block the card now. Dont let them spend anymore you need to do damage control. If they ask just say you said you needed 1000 and youve gone over that im worried you might struggle to repay me or just say the loaner company has stopped the card.
You will be very lucky if you get your money back, many of those purchases could of waited.

This is my thinking as well. Many of these purchases could have waited. I just feel uneasy now. I am anxious and thinking will I get it back.

Also saw the card was shovelled back into their wallet but surely pay day should be coming soon and there's no need for it any more.

I just feel so uneasy.

So there are purchases being made with this and then there is a vague talking about looking for a second hand car at some point too. I doubt with this money but if that's another plan, I just feel so uneasy about this.

I wanted to help them and that was Amy initial gut and I probably responded too quickly to help them. I should have slowed it down.

I just keep thinking if I just added a thousand that would be it but they are gone over the original sum.

They are talking about bank charges but surely they could open up and English bank account.

OP posts:
SkintSingleMumm · 30/07/2025 14:13

Have you frozen/cancelled the card op?

TheBossOfMe · 30/07/2025 14:13

Cancel the card, OP. They're going to rack up huge debts in your name, and you are the one legally liable for paying it back. Because you gave them your card, the bank won't help you.

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General money
ComfortFoodCafe · 30/07/2025 14:18

@BlueHughave you stopped the card? You need to before they end up buying a car with it!

Steelworks · 30/07/2025 14:19

Cancel the card!

LilianMarcus · 30/07/2025 14:25

BlueHug · 29/07/2025 22:50

Does anyone here have experiences of giving a family member a loan?

I don't want to go into too much details. A close family member and his partner asked me for a loan. I wanted to help. I have an online account with revolut so I topped that account up with funds.

They said that they don't get paid for another two weeks.

I am very anxious now that maybe something might happen where I maybe I might not get this money back.

The partner is foreign and using some other things. I witnessed the shopping and I just think if they needed a loan from me surely maybe they could have shopped around for more better value. Like spending 85 pounds on a cutlery set when Tesco or Asda would have more better value.

I am just anxious that maybe I won't get this money back.

yes and it's hard to set rules with them unless they understand the concept of "my money is not our money", "rules are rules and if you cant abide by it, then you should get a personal loan from the bank". I am married without children yet and because the gynaecologist said it's hard for me to conceive, my sister keeps pestering me about giving money to her children's well-being. they don't understand that I need to save for my own rainy days

Meadowfinch · 30/07/2025 14:42

I knew my dniece was dropping out of a course she needed for her career, because she did not have the £2,000 that the final term would cost. I offered the money, I was not asked. It was gratefully received and paid back with interest which I hadn't asked for, two years later.

A sibling approached me for a loan but lied about why it was needed so I declined.

Family or not, you need to do your due diligence. In your case, I'd block the card. None of their purchases are essential or even important.

BlackCatGreyWhiskers · 30/07/2025 14:43

How will they get paid and make purchases if they don’t have a UK bank account?

Ohnobackagain · 30/07/2025 14:51

@BlueHug if they haven’t spent it all, can you get the unspent money back? They should be buying cheaper - facebook marketplace, tk maxx (got a fab cutlery set there - good make) and Dunelm for bedding etc. For what they have had, write up a letter or something where brother signs to say he will pay you back and by when. And please, just don’t lend them any money again. It just leads to trouble.

BySassyGreenPanda · 30/07/2025 18:38

This doesn't make sense.

OP were/are you expecting the full amount back on payday? Do they earn enough for that? If so, they have a decent amount of disposable income. Why didn't they wait for payday and use their own money? Or are you expecting money every month to cover the repayments? Of course it may be the case that they don't have any spare money and won't pay you back.

I hope you've cancelled that card. They will spend it all if you let them. I feel uneasy about them doubling the amount from £1000 to £2000. If I needed help I'd take the least amount possible. I wouldn't be greedy asking for more and max out the money in a matter of days.

OP this is what they do with money, even money that isn't theirs. They don't give a shit. It was a very generous offer of help and they abused it. These are the people who'd win the lottery and be back on benefits a couple of years later.

It may be a costly lesson OP but remember this.

People with no spare money or savings have spent every penny that's ever passed through their hands.........❤

SkintSingleMumm · 30/07/2025 19:25

Youve not cancelled it have you op/or have any intention of doing so?

Wallywobbles · 30/07/2025 20:17

Can’t you go and get the card now? You cannot just continue to let this car crash happen. At least cancel it.

Shoemadlady · 01/08/2025 00:31

Please tell me you’ve put a stop on the card!!!

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