Please come and talk to me if you are a Londoner and happy here

[Newmeagain]

I am just having a bit of a crisis. It’s probably not just about where I am living - it’s probably part of a “I am 50 and how is the rest of my life going to look” kind of thing - but where I am living is part of it.

i am not British but have lived here for a long time. That’s probably relevant because I don’t have extended family here.

I am fortunate to have a small house in quite a central part of North London and I used to consider myself to be very lucky to be able to live here. But recently there are so many things that annoy me about my neighbourhood. To get to my local high street I go past the tube station, which has a pedestrian area which was suppose to be a nice green space but instead has turned into a really grimy hangout for drunks, drug addicts and Deliveroo drivers waiting for their next job. I may be slightly exaggerating but it almost feels like something from some post apocalyptic world where you have to pass through the “bad lands” to reach your destination. In general there is just lots of rubbish and dog poo everywhere and I feel like noise pollution has also increased. I definitely don’t think this is unique to my part of London.

So - I have started fixating about a “house in the country”. But there are some problems. My job is very specific and tied to London, with mandated days in the office. To make it more complicated my dd is starting uni here and for various complicated reasons wants to stay at home. Also, as I am single, I could potentially feel quite isolated if I moved to a completely new area.

So I need other Londoners to tell me why I should stay!

I lived in Crystal Palace for about 6 years, and moved out in lockdown to be closer to family, after having child no1. I miss London desperately, and would be back in a heartbeat if it wasn’t for the schooling and how excellent it is where we are now. As a childless person/parent to adult children, I think it’s brilliant - so much to do!

I still go in for work occasionally and love it when I do!

I love London too - I’ve been working outside London a lot recently and I really, really missed the transport options in London. I also just love the diversity of people and events, going to all the museums, cinemas etc. Meeting friends by the river….
Report the anti social behaviour to your local policing team.

I visited Norwich last week. Your description could have neartky summed up this city.

I think what you’re describing is typical of any city.

Stick with London. It’s fab.

Still a shout out for Norwich. It’s clearly on trend. 🌈

I’m from the north east, just returned to my home in London. Same rubbish on streets, more shit bars and restaurants, poorer transport (though still good). Not sure it’s better elsewhere.

You can live somewhere commutable but further out...from North London I'd look at Hertfordshire

There’s a vast spectrum of places between central/north London and a house in the country. I bet you could sell that house and move to a much nicer spot in south London without the issues you’re bemoaning. You could live somewhere off the tube but still in London, on the overground or a bus route, or by the river or dozens of very nice spots. Or out to the commuter belt on the Thameslink or Elizabeth line. I wouldn’t argue to leave London but absolutely no need to stay in smelly hectic central/north areas that you’ve outgrown.

In general there is just lots of rubbish and dog poo everywhere and I feel like noise pollution has also increased. I definitely don’t think this is unique to my part of London.

Would you want to move to another part of London? Many parts of London have more accessible green space than rural areas in other parts of the country, but they tend to be £££ or further out.

What compromises are you prepared to make?

Thank you to those who posted.

I don’t think I would want to move to South London as it’s just a bit too alien to me! But further North could be an option. Lots to think about.

Know what you mean. I was born and bred there and moved from the Palace back in the 90s. We're in a lovely house in a nice market town, but I still miss it.

I don't live in London but a "nice" little market town. It's very safe and clean and nice. But it's bloody dull as fuck. I would love to move to London but probably will never be able to afford it now - also early 50s. Also my dh would never move there. You would miss the diversity, the access to everything, the food choices, culture... I think that it's an age thing probably. At 50, you start thinking that this is last chance saloon, so you think about other lives and paths that you didn't take and want something different.

What do you mean by country side

A small town or really rural?

Maybe it's worth renting a home for a few weeks to see how it fits for you If you're bored on your experimental holiday then I wouldn't.

Nice towns Places to consider commutable to north Herts

Harpendon
St Albans
Hitchin
Potters bar
Redbourne (more rural)
Ampthill (more north)
Welwyn (village)
Knebworth (village)

All have good links back to north London

I sometimes feel that way OP - days when the litter is swirling around in the wind, there are dealers hanging around the street, and there's dog shit everywhere.
But I still love it.
Maybe explore some other areas of North London. Some feel quite leafy and quiet. Have you been to some of the north east suburbs? Places like Wanstead and Highams Park feel quiet and clean and close to green spaces.

I get it OP. I live in a lovely bit of South London and there are days when the rubbish is swirling around the streets, the local wrong’un is walking his XL bully for a shit on the high street and the car wash is being raided by police again and I slightly despair. I think this is where England is at the moment, for various reasons which are probably beyond the scope of this thread. I hope it’s temporary.

I love living in London (I am slightly older than you), I am South of the river, but spent many years living North, and I do sometimes think about moving out and some of the things you’ve mentioned do bother me too. BUT there is also so much brilliant stuff that more than makes up for it, the culture, arts, theatre, food and the people, I’d find all that very hard to leave and now my children are older I utilise all of the above on a regular basis.

My cousin recently sold her house in London and bought amazing flat in central Bath, lots going on and she prefers it to London now she’s a bit older. Could maybe another smaller city work for you?

Look at Rickmansworth/Chorleywood. Close to chilterns so countryside feel but not isolated and on the tube to London. I moved here from London and have zero regrets!

I think you need to stay in London due to your job and DD but also in your OP you don't mention you want more 'space' which is why a lot of people leave London - whether it's housing or outside space.

I would look at different areas of London, there are so many 'villages' within it that could fit your needs.

Unfortunately, the problems that you're finding in North London are reflected elsewhere in the country.

If you're somewhere accessible, no matter how lovely, people can come and litter and destroy things. We're in an affluent suburb of Manchester. The town centre was recently done up, but within days a couple of the new trees had been snapped. We get gangs of bored lads come in on the tram and steal from Sainsbury's.

As others have said, there may be nicer parts of London. Both of my DC will be living in London next year so we went for a look. DS will be living between Finsbury Park and Holloway which was grotty, but DD is near Clapham Common and seemed much nicer. Same rent for both.

Genuine question as I’m not from London but what is the difference between North London and South London?

I live in North London - fairly "leafy" area - and have done for most of my adult life. I love living here and, even though I'm getting older, see endless benefits to being close to so many resources, places to go, restaurants etc. I also like green spaces and the countryside - but that's easy to access by train.

You could look to move out to Hertfordshire though. I have several younger colleagues who have done that as housing is more affordable. You'd still have access to easy transport into town.

I lived in London for 17 years. When I retired I moved abroad and now live in a seaside town in East Sussex. Dog poo and dealers are a problem here too. Nothing happens after 6 p.m. and everyone knows your business.

I would move back to London if I could afford it. So much to do and I actually like being anonymous in a big city. You can hop on a tube and be somewhere completely different in 5 minutes. The grass isn't always greener.

We moved from a tiny flat in a scuzzy bit of north London to a four-bedroomed house on the edge of a chocolate box village in pretty countryside in 2012. It was a huge mistake.

I live in South London and I love it. I moved here from rural North Yorkshire in my 20s and I’ve lived here for 35 years. I have no intention of ever moving away. My adult daughters also live here. London is so easy to live in - frequent public transport on your doorstep - no need for a car, and free if you’re over 60 - huge green spaces, shops, restaurants, cinemas, theatres, swimming pools, the museums and galleries, etc etc. London is technically a “forest”, I’ve heard, it’s so green and full of trees. Even an NHS dentist is easy to find.

Historically - and just to be clear I'm not accusing the OP of this - there used to be a bit of a superiority complex from North to South. Probably loads of reasons but largely relating to the fact only two tube lines go south of the river. Like, being off the tube was "here be dragons" territory when actually there's always been a decent train network and since the overground was expanded and developed, with Thameslink as well, it's pretty moot these days.

That perception then creates a self-fulfilling prophecy with regards to desirability and house prices etc.

I grew up in SW London in the 80s and the absolute pain of trying to get a black cab to cross the sodding river to take you home at night then was real. Even now the Zone system is still massively skewed in favour of the North. Like, bloody Epping and Amersham are part of the Oyster system when they're as far away from London as bits of Surrey!

Anyway, OP I totally get the dilemma. I'm early 50s. I moved from SW London to Surrey nearly 20 years ago now. I'm still walking distance to a station and only half an hour on the train in. I haven't regretted it, and when I come home after a busy day or night in London the relative quiet of my walk home is very soothing. But I do miss the ease of having so many transport options, of the proximity of so much to do. And the town centre where I live is pretty uninspiring.

Yes, there is definitely something to be said about how great transport is in London. Realistically I may need to wait until my dd leaves home and then make some big decisions.

I would move somewhere like st Albans in your shoes. Or a nicer part of London like sw ham or Thames ditton or Richmond