Please come and talk to me if you are a Londoner and happy here

[Newmeagain]

I am just having a bit of a crisis. It’s probably not just about where I am living - it’s probably part of a “I am 50 and how is the rest of my life going to look” kind of thing - but where I am living is part of it.

i am not British but have lived here for a long time. That’s probably relevant because I don’t have extended family here.

I am fortunate to have a small house in quite a central part of North London and I used to consider myself to be very lucky to be able to live here. But recently there are so many things that annoy me about my neighbourhood. To get to my local high street I go past the tube station, which has a pedestrian area which was suppose to be a nice green space but instead has turned into a really grimy hangout for drunks, drug addicts and Deliveroo drivers waiting for their next job. I may be slightly exaggerating but it almost feels like something from some post apocalyptic world where you have to pass through the “bad lands” to reach your destination. In general there is just lots of rubbish and dog poo everywhere and I feel like noise pollution has also increased. I definitely don’t think this is unique to my part of London.

So - I have started fixating about a “house in the country”. But there are some problems. My job is very specific and tied to London, with mandated days in the office. To make it more complicated my dd is starting uni here and for various complicated reasons wants to stay at home. Also, as I am single, I could potentially feel quite isolated if I moved to a completely new area.

So I need other Londoners to tell me why I should stay!

I live in a leafy part of SW London and love it here.

I feel lucky to be so close to museums, galleries and theatres. And that it's easy to visit my other London friends (and those who live outside). Plus the public transport access is superb.

I honestly can't see us ever leaving.

We thought about moving back to West or North London where we were originally from when our youngest is an adult but we are early mid 40s and all our friends pretty much moved to where we are now on the south coast, as in 00s it was more affordable. We realised we wouldn't have any friends there anymore or probably even people our age as so unaffordable in the areas we grew up in. We are only an hour away from central London and work there anyway so not really missing out.

What about looking at Church End? Walkable to East Finchley tube.

It's tribal. As a South Londoner, born and bred, I regard all those north of the river as a load of poncey, snobbish, overpaid halfwits most of whom are incomers from the provinces anyway.

In their turn most North Londoners believe (wrongly, of course) that south of the river is like the Wild West where the principal occupation is armed robbery and where you cannot get a black cab for love nor money (especially after midnight).

I have never lived north of the river in my life and I intend to keep it that way!

If south London is a bit too alien, you’ll find living outside London positively extraterrestrial!

If you think South London is too alien then I’m not sure you’re ready for the sticks!

Broadly - and biased - I find North London to be crueller and South London to be more laidback. I've lived in both but mostly South, obviously, though I do like West and would live there again. East is my least favourite, I don't get the hype.

I do get the 'alien' thing if you're very entrenched, but really it's a bit nuts to not even consider somewhere like a nice part of Clapham when it's Zone 2 and and very well-connected and would address the issues you're having. Or places off the tube like Greenwich or Dulwich or Herne Hill. The beauty of London is it's variety and there's no need to be stuck in a grotty bit when you have the means to move somewhere nicer. You could do that within North London too of course, it just tends to be more expensive.

I live in Zone 4 West London and am lucky enough to have a great job locally.

I love this fucking city. I love the public transport. I love the fashion. I love the food. I love the history. I love the entertainment. I love the buzz. I love the diversity. I love the huge range of activities and options, for us and for DC. I love that I can know lots of people locally and still have my privacy. I love the cycling infrastructure. I love that if my job ever starts pissing me off, I can have a better one in three months.

We live in an untrendy villagey area where we have a lot of friends, know most of the local businesses, and still have tons of green space. The schools locally are also really good. I can't imagine living anywhere else.

I'd look for another London area that gives you a bit more of what you need, probably a bit further out. They do exist.

I'm from North London but have always visited South London regularly to see relatives. My understanding is that when the tube started, South London authorities didn't want it to 'scar' their part of London hence less tube options. Also the cab drivers in my family always asserted that the roads were more narrow in South London. 😉

Making me miss London 🫣

I wouldn’t move out if your daughter is planning to live at home while at a london uni. It’s one thing for you to commute in for set days but would be much harder for her to form a social life if she needs to factor in a long commute (plus of course the cost).

Would you consider a move within London? You don’t have to go south- plenty of places in the north that are a bit greener than you describe. Highgate, Crouch End, Muswell Hill- no tube for the last two but very reasonable transport options (eg walking to Highgate or bus to Finsbury Park or from Crouch End you can also get the overland).

There are fewer tube stations because the geology isn’t suitable for underground tunnels, especially south-east.

I also live in an untrendy, villagey-bit of west London in zone 4, with lots of green space, great schools (wondering if it is the same bit as @ChandrilanDiscoDroid!).

I moved to London 19 years ago from a small-minded small-town in the north, and I have never regretted it, not for a second.

I've lived in loads of other places in the UK - not just the afformentioned small town, but also tiny rural villages and another major city, and I have never been as happy as I am here. Of course, it is horses for courses, perhaps you would be happier elsewhere.

For me - I just don't want to be anywhere else than where I am right now. Why would I, when great schools for DS, huge, wild parks on my doorstep, a thriving riverbank, great pubs and restaurants and shops very close by and world class theatres, galleries and museums, all easily accessible via safe, cheap and reliable public transport.

I grew up in the countryside, and yes, it beautiful, but it's easy to visit. There's dog shit, addiction and anti-social behaviour everywhere you go. Outside of London, there are fewer things to make up for it.

Omg @LancreWowhawk !!! That plus your username, we clearly need to be friends, unless we're already friends? Is it the area that boasts its own free music festival perchance?

@ChandrilanDiscoDroid Ah, no - not that one! We're the other side of the A4:-)

Also the cab drivers in my family always asserted that the roads were more narrow in South London.

Well the South Circular is definitely narrower than the North Circular!

There are fewer tube stations because the geology isn’t suitable for underground tunnels, especially south-east.

It's blamed on the clay but I'm not sure if that was actually true. There were plenty of railway lines so it might just have been that south London was less built up and there was enough space to build railways without needing to put them underground.

In the older London transport maps when only Tube lines were shown, south-east London looked completely devoid of transport running on tracks. I'm sure some people outside the area used to think we only had buses.

This!

Just move to Blackheath or Greenwich or something, no need to leave London

You will save an absolute fortune if your daughter doesn't have to move out. Also, as a lecturer, I see our students who have long commutes in sort of have the worst of it, they're not local enough to engage fully with campus life but not far away enough to justify halls.

I would look at moving within London, and go more central perhaps. Trade your house for a flat and enjoy walking everywhere.

They're still trying to extend the Bakerloo to Lewisham so I guess it's technically feasible.

Aha, I suspected as much on account of your mention of the river wot needs a 'ford 😉 I hop the E8 to your hood all the time!

You’re considering a move to the country but won’t consider south London because it’s alien to you? Surely it’s less alien than the country?

Definitely wait until your DD has finished University.

I think the grotty, depressing corners of London are much like the grotty, depressing corners of villages and towns up and down the country tbh.

I love living in London. I’ve toyed with the idea of moving out a few times to follow the ‘escape to the country’ ideal, but I’m just not sure I could hack the isolation and boredom. My work and social life is very London-centric and I love it that way.
I love the buzz of the city, the extensive transport network, the culture, diversity, international feel. But where I live (fairly central) I also have some amazing green spaces, so for me it’s a nice balance.
Really recognise what you’ve described around your station. I know a few spots like that but I easily avoid them.
Why not look into moving within London? Even one or two stops up your tube line could make a big difference.

I live in North Ealing and absolutely love it - the Elizabeth line has changed my life!

Is there another way? Start a litter picking group? Talk to your local councillor about the deliveroos?