Please come and talk to me if you are a Londoner and happy here

[Newmeagain]

I am just having a bit of a crisis. It’s probably not just about where I am living - it’s probably part of a “I am 50 and how is the rest of my life going to look” kind of thing - but where I am living is part of it.

i am not British but have lived here for a long time. That’s probably relevant because I don’t have extended family here.

I am fortunate to have a small house in quite a central part of North London and I used to consider myself to be very lucky to be able to live here. But recently there are so many things that annoy me about my neighbourhood. To get to my local high street I go past the tube station, which has a pedestrian area which was suppose to be a nice green space but instead has turned into a really grimy hangout for drunks, drug addicts and Deliveroo drivers waiting for their next job. I may be slightly exaggerating but it almost feels like something from some post apocalyptic world where you have to pass through the “bad lands” to reach your destination. In general there is just lots of rubbish and dog poo everywhere and I feel like noise pollution has also increased. I definitely don’t think this is unique to my part of London.

So - I have started fixating about a “house in the country”. But there are some problems. My job is very specific and tied to London, with mandated days in the office. To make it more complicated my dd is starting uni here and for various complicated reasons wants to stay at home. Also, as I am single, I could potentially feel quite isolated if I moved to a completely new area.

So I need other Londoners to tell me why I should stay!

Doesn’t sound like your moment to move OP. Single too and not keen to not know anyone. If your job is here too. What about elsewhere in London? I mainly like living here. It’s home, that is for sure!!

Heaven forbid anyone should say anything nice on here simply for the sake of it!

I've lived in London all my adult life, in a built-up part of north London, and wouldn't leave - lots to do, huge variety of food/entertainment, great markets, culture, easy to get trains for days out etc. I'm finding it a good place to grow older - the 60+ Oyster card, very cheap exercise classes, concessions at theatres etc, plus everything's on the doorstep so I don't need to drive. The countryside's fine for a visit in summer, but I wouldn't fancy spending gloomy November evenings there.

OP i really think you should reconsider South London. Ive lived all over and honestly....South London has soul. A real sense of community and realness...it just feels less transient than north of the river. Villagey vibes and green spaces and real diversity abound.

Your money would go further here too. Maybe come explore?

I grew up in north london and now live in west london. I go through phases of wondering about what life would be like in a smaller town within easy reach of London. But mostly I love living in London probably because I am easily bored and need lots of distractions and entertainment. I am also getting on now and realise there is something to be said about being able to walk to the GP, shops, restaurants and public transport. A friend of mine left London, not too far, she prefers solitude so it suited her but she struggles with the fact you can't get any decent takeaways, lol, literally only pizza or burgers.

Regarding the anti-social behaviour, keep reporting it and use the love clean app to report the litter/poo. By reporting it, something does get done eventually.

OP, this is another thread of Londoners talking about how much they love it, and ex-Londoners talking about how much they miss it!
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5381105-tell-me-how-much-you-love-living-in-london-feed-my-obsession

And yes, check out South London too! I feel it has far more life than a lot of what's North (sorry North Londoners).

I love south london but I'm not convinced someone who has lived in north london for many years and whose life and community are there would really enjoy South London. I think people underestimate the challenge of moving and the upheaval it brings when you move community completely. From social lives to the silly little things that are part of your routine - the nail bar and dry cleaner you like, your preferred Tesco Local, the local people you say hi to on a daily basis.

That doesn' tmean people should leave. But someone who has a lot of that where they are might well benefit from a smaller move rather than leaving it all behind.

But it's her local area that she's gone off, and South London is a smaller move, as opposed to moving to the country. If she just wanted to inch from Finsbury Park to Seven Sisters, she wouldn't need to ask, nor would it solve her problem. And if she's north/central then, say, Battersea may be closer and more viable than Southgate.

I grew up in London and I've lived most of my adult life here. I'm very happy here, and I'm lucky to be able to live quite centrally (zone 2) so I have easy access to attractions and activities. I have 2 young dcs, and my life revolves heavily around them, so the things that appeal to me probably wouldn't appeal to you. The numerous kids activities (the school holidays are a race to fit everything in and manage clashing activities, rather than boredom and running out of things to do), parks, attractions, museums, leisure centres, children's classes, theatre and concerts. I have a lot of fun taking my dcs out at weekends and school holidays.

I've lived mostly in central/north and East London. I used to live close to the Overground though and would often visit places in South London (Horniman, Crystal Palace Park, Morden Hall Park) and studied for a bit there, so I don't find it too different or strange and I wouldn't be fazed by moving there. To me it's just another part of London, and still just as easy to get to the things I enjoy.

There's a lot of homelessness, drunks and drug use in my area. You see them in one particular park and in doorways. I don't like it, but it doesn't affect my life. We are close to a Royal Park and thankfully they keep that space clean and don't allow people to camp or congregate in that way. Noise pollution doesn't bother me (used to live in a "nightlife" area of zone 1 and the area I am in now is quite buzzy and touristy). Litter to me is just visual clutter and I don't notice it any more. Dog poo is the only thing that bothers me, because it's something that could actually affect me, and it's hard work avoiding it with a buggy and kids who don't look out for it. A lot of this stuff is probably worse in the evenings and we tend not to be outside past 7pm due to young dcs, so perhaps that's why it doesn't have a big impact on me.

I can't drive and that's a big reason why I probably won't ever leave London. I'm fortunate to have a Freedom Pass (for disabled people) and it really does give me freedom - I can get to so many places and don't think twice about it. Even if other cities offered a bus pass, for places I've visited it wouldn't offer anywhere near as much access (buses run in much lower frequencies, routes only run in certain directions, and it's much slower than the tube).

The London job market PP mentioned is also an important consideration.

As the economy (and geopolitics) goes to s**t (and more employers are asking for more days in the office) it gives me some comfort to be based in London, with a straightforward commute to the City.

Absolutely. I've seen a lot of people stranded careerwise when the sole big employer in their area makes them redundant or they get a new manager that hates them.

Maybe you could move towards the end of a tube line. Places like Cockfosters, Oakwood, Mill Hill etc are leafier and more genteel than inner city if you are reader for a quieter life, but still not much more than half an hour by tube to Central London for work and interesting things to do.

i'm hoping to move closer to London. Never felt quite at home anywhere else.

We're hoping to move back to London. I hadn't really considered South as we want to be on the tube and most of the leafy parts of South London seem to be overground or nowhere near any transport at all..

Are there any areas you'd recommend?

North Dulwich, East Dulwich, Herne Hill and adjacent areas.

I live further down the train line from those areas and my outer borough, while still well connected, is looking very scruffy due to council cutbacks.

But those inner areas of Southwark have lovely little neighbourhoods and aren't far from the tube at Brixton (not that you really need it with the overground/a bike). The primaries even have spaces now with the falling birthrate.

Expensive property though and access to secondaries is very competitive.

Take a look at Lizzy Line areas as well. It's fast, it's reliable, it's airconned, it's the bee's pyjamas.

I think it’s the turned 50 and DC no longer need me feeling. I felt similarly about place we’d moved to after having DC. Outside London and without school gate friends it will be much harder to find your tribe. There is less of anything you like or want and people who commute during the week tend to hunker down at weekend at home. I‘m now regularly visiting your neck of the woods to visit my DC who has moved back home to start a career. I miss it and would be back in a heartbeat. Highbury corner has never been salubrious so a few new trees and a changed layout was never going to change it

Echo PPs comments - parts of Southwark are lovely. If you want to be further in and have the money, check out Kennington or Battersea.
A bit further out (zone 3) look at West Norwood or Streatham Hill, even Tooting (which is on the tube).
Try and be near a big park. South London is brilliant!

Me toooooooooo 😭

Also Nunhead, Brockley, Greenwich, Blackheath. All wonderful

Battersea, Barnes, Richmond, Putney, Wimbledon can all be lovely to the PP wanting South London suggestions.

All chichi and expensive AF though 😬except for parts of Putney. (Have lived in Putney, Clapham, Richmond, St Mags.)

Ah, I like chichi though 😊

It's fine to visit (although Barnes is a bit too chichi even for that IMO 😁) but it does make housing very pricey for what it is, even compared to other London areas.

Balham is expensive but much of it is right on Tooting Common, and Wandsworth Common is very near and Clapham Common up the road.

And it is on the tube and rail links to other areas with lots of green.

I really love London. Live in East London, in a flat. Previously had a 4 bedroom house with huge garden in a small pretty town in the Midlands. I was so happy to leave it, OMG. It was like living in a small village - with all that comes with it.

I'm also not UK born, but I'm white and female so I had little to no issues; however the general racism and backwardness of the majority of people was hard to deal with. I'm generally quite reserved and polite so people never felt like they had to hide their views from me, a few times I heard horrendous stuff that still makes me feel sick.

I also felt bored of my brain most evenings and weekends - yes, you can go somewhere in a car/ train, but if you are staying in town there is nothing - a few pubs/ cafes and that's it. You go out, you meet same people. You want some culture, you have to go to London - or, occasionally, nearest big city, though that was equally dull.

I tried to commute but that was soul destroying: spending over 3 hours a day travelling plus having your life guided by the train schedule. Awful.

Re dating - I dont think it makes any difference where you live. I cant say its better in London, but I'm sure if you just go by number of people available in a dating pool London has an advantage. Plus, you meet a much wider variety of people.