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Original poster

Partner violence

99 replies

Sandandsea123 · 27/07/2025 09:39

I dont know what to do. My partner went out for the day yesterday and last night rang me in an awful drunk state; telling me he’d hit someone and they were on the floor, and he left before police came. He sounded quite gleeful about it. We had to rehome our dog because he was getting violent to him and he goes out his way to scare the cats. He’d never hurt us; I just don’t even want him coming home. But I love him and the brief bits of time he does help are amazing. But will the police find him and this have repercussions?

OP posts:
Gingernaut · 27/07/2025 09:52

Rehome the cats
Find all your documentation and keep it safe
Make plans to leave

He will hit you eventually

YesHonestly · 27/07/2025 09:53

Gingernaut · 27/07/2025 09:52

Rehome the cats
Find all your documentation and keep it safe
Make plans to leave

He will hit you eventually

Edited

This.

He is not a safe partner. You need to get away from him.

He hasn’t hit you. Yet.

Daleksatemyshed · 27/07/2025 09:57

He hurts the dog, frightens the cat and hits strangers and thinks it's fine. Run for your life Op, seriously, he's cruel and nasty

DoneitagainhaventI · 27/07/2025 10:13

Men who are violent to their partners often have a history of cruelty to animals. There is a known link between the domestic violence and animal cruelty.

Please get yourself out of this relationship OP because you really aren't safe.

Original poster
Sandandsea123 · 27/07/2025 13:09

He wouldn’t hurt me; I know that; he’s only once slightly done something. He’s home and apologetic and insanely hungover. I’ve put my bank card on my phone now so can use that when he’s taken the real one.

OP posts:
RosieDouras · 27/07/2025 13:21

He’s assaulted a stranger and hurt animals. If you still think he’s a good partner and want to stay with him, why are you starting a MN thread? If it’s because you’re worried the police will find him, that depends how badly the stranger he left on the floor is injured, the CCTV in the area, and if it was a pub/club, whether he paid by card. Why would you want to stay with someone who was violent and left someone lying on the floor? Why mention the brief bits of time he does help?

You need to get away from this man.

RosieDouras · 27/07/2025 13:25

Sandandsea123 · 27/07/2025 13:09

He wouldn’t hurt me; I know that; he’s only once slightly done something. He’s home and apologetic and insanely hungover. I’ve put my bank card on my phone now so can use that when he’s taken the real one.

What does your bank card have to do with this? If he’s used your bank card and someone has been assaulted in a venue, it will probably be traced back to you.

RedSeven · 27/07/2025 13:26

Wtf are you doing op

alcoholnightmare · 27/07/2025 13:27

What about the person he hit last night? Life changing injuries? Dead? Cant work for weeks on end in their self employed role due to a broken jaw?
How is that person today?

Your partner is a disgusting skank.

RosieDouras · 27/07/2025 13:28

He’s only once slightly done something - OP this sounds like a cry for help.

Linenpickle · 27/07/2025 13:28

I hope the police find him as he sounds like absolute scum. WTF are you with someone like this. As for he wouldn’t hurt you…. Bollocks…. One day he will. Chances are this will happen, don’t be naive. Leave.

nopiesleftinthisvehicle · 27/07/2025 13:29

Sandandsea123 · 27/07/2025 13:09

He wouldn’t hurt me; I know that; he’s only once slightly done something. He’s home and apologetic and insanely hungover. I’ve put my bank card on my phone now so can use that when he’s taken the real one.

Come back to this thread in your future OP and read this quote.
You are married to a piece of shit.
This is how it starts. 💣

RosieDouras · 27/07/2025 13:30

alcoholnightmare · 27/07/2025 13:27

What about the person he hit last night? Life changing injuries? Dead? Cant work for weeks on end in their self employed role due to a broken jaw?
How is that person today?

Your partner is a disgusting skank.

Edited

All this - and no amount of apologies to the OP can change it. One punch can kill.

Buffypaws · 27/07/2025 13:31

Even if you don’t think he will hurt you, how can you have any love or respect towards someone who is violent or intimidating towards your pets?
Surely rehoming your dog was devastating but for this reason?

Buffypaws · 27/07/2025 13:31

Hopefully he will get put away for this before he does anything worse.

CleanShirt · 27/07/2025 13:34

Sandandsea123 · 27/07/2025 13:09

He wouldn’t hurt me; I know that; he’s only once slightly done something. He’s home and apologetic and insanely hungover. I’ve put my bank card on my phone now so can use that when he’s taken the real one.

So it's not never then.

Get out before he seriously hurts you. It's almost a guaranteed.

Nowadaysmind · 27/07/2025 13:34

What a catch you have there. You know what you need to do. Just posting on here is a huge red flag.

FreddysFingers · 27/07/2025 13:35

Sandandsea123 · 27/07/2025 13:09

He wouldn’t hurt me; I know that; he’s only once slightly done something. He’s home and apologetic and insanely hungover. I’ve put my bank card on my phone now so can use that when he’s taken the real one.

You're in denial. If you're not going to leave him, the least you can do is to rehome your animals, it's cruel to keep them in a home where they're being frightened on purpose.

Wishing you all the best, but I don't think the future is bright with him in it, he's a violent bully, end of.

Xatz63 · 27/07/2025 13:35

He wouldn't hurt me I know that ... No you dont know that for sure he is a thug and the brief times he helps is amazing ?
Surely you must know deep down you deserve better than this ?

mbosnz · 27/07/2025 13:40

For me, if he was hurting my animals, or terrorising them, that would be hurting me. I'd find that utterly terrifying, and incomprehensible to be around. Of the two, a drunken, vicious, vindictive bastard, or my animals, I know which I'd be rehoming. Actually, I'd be kicking out the fucking door with his possessions in a bin bag if he were lucky, I wouldn't give that the dignity of rehoming.

chickennoodledoodle · 27/07/2025 13:42

OP you are either in denial or being completely naive. I’d like to know how old you are tbh, you sound inexperienced. The biggest red flag for me is that he got violent to your dog & scares your cats on purpose (!?). Your judgement is completely off. How on earth can you be with someone who hurts animals? On purpose? That is a MAJOR character flaw in a person. One that most rational people would run from. And he’s punched someone & sounds gleeful. Seriously, this man is no good & his violence is going to get worse. Don’t say we didn’t warn you 😔

IZK · 27/07/2025 13:42

Sandandsea123 · 27/07/2025 13:09

He wouldn’t hurt me; I know that; he’s only once slightly done something. He’s home and apologetic and insanely hungover. I’ve put my bank card on my phone now so can use that when he’s taken the real one.

If this is true, you've got a whole lot of growing up to do.

He wouldn’t hurt me; I know that; he’s only once slightly done something.

You can't be this desperate for a man surely?

SuffolkUnicorn · 27/07/2025 13:42

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

RosieDouras · 27/07/2025 13:43

It’s over 30 years ago since I was dating someone who hurt his own dog. After that one occasion he never got to see me again.

Cece92 · 27/07/2025 13:45

So he abused your dog, beat someone up and left the scene abuses your cats and you think this is okay? Wake up seriously. Hopefully the police find him and he’s done for it. He will eventually lose it with you and you’ll be next.