Partner violence

[Sandandsea123]

I dont know what to do. My partner went out for the day yesterday and last night rang me in an awful drunk state; telling me he’d hit someone and they were on the floor, and he left before police came. He sounded quite gleeful about it. We had to rehome our dog because he was getting violent to him and he goes out his way to scare the cats. He’d never hurt us; I just don’t even want him coming home. But I love him and the brief bits of time he does help are amazing. But will the police find him and this have repercussions?

He won't hit you until he does. But you're ok with him hurting animals and other people. Sounds like he's also financially abusive. Please leave him and report him to the police.

Please tell me you don't have kids..

She does. A baby.
She also has a 14 year old dd with a different man.

urg get rid of the cat as well poor thing. Anyone who is pathetic enough to hurt animals will hurt you eventually but its up to you if you ignore the big red flags.

On another thread in March OP said the baby was five months old so I make it 9 months now. Does it really make any difference to what I posted though?

Op with all due respect you are talking nonsense

Also

Your poor dog

That's a disgrace

This fcking man should have been kicked to the gutter

Awful

He wouldn’t hurt me; I know that; he’s only once slightly done something.

YOU are in denial !

' only once slightly done something. ' so he has already hurt you

'He’d never hurt us'

US ? !!!

What do you mean US

Of course not but when you wrote...

Your poor kids. I don’t know how old your older daughter is but I hope she tells someone with a safeguarding responsibility what her home life is like so that SS can support you to leave. He’s not even her dad.

I misread it and thought you were saying you didn't know how old both of them were.

"He's only once slightly done something"

Once is enough. Get the fuck out

Ah ok that makes sense.

Yeah I hope her poor teenage daughter who is being forced to live with an abuser who terrorises her mum and their animals (and lets be honest, he won’t be a man who treats her appropriately) manages to tell someone what is going on so they can help her. It’s so staggeringly unfair she’s being forced to live in this environment. And so damaging to her, it’ll hugely shape her adult relationships.

And I hope OP realises that she’s chosen to stay with this man ‘because I love him’ but that comes with a cost - she won’t be seeing much of her daughter when she leaves home and certainly won’t be entrusted to care for any future grandchildren.

You don’t know that he won’t physically hurt you. The odds aren’t good. Anyway, he already is hiring you by way of his decisions. Who willingly justifies and/or stays with a man that hurts animals? There is no coming back from that.

I can only say, CHUCK HIM OUT!

"I love him and the brief bits of time he does help are amazing."

Dear OP your standards are non existent and you sound absolutely pathetic tbh, like a cowering beaten dog.
This man is violent and and an animal abuser.
The only decent place for this total loser is out of your house and in a prison cell.
Can you not do any better than this?
Absolutely nothing about this man is amazing.

You need to do the Freedom program from women aid because he has done such a number on you, you aren’t thinking straight. He is violent, a thief and also cruel to animals. He is scum. maybe the freedom program will help you see that

Violence to animals is a prelude to violence to people.

He’s now been violent to a person - so bad this person is on the floor.

it’s just a matter of time before he is violent to you.

do everyone a favour - his victim, future victims and you - and report him to the police.

How on earth can you tolerate someone that is cruel to animals? Utterly disgusting and it raises serious questions as to your ability to look after and safely protect your kids.

he’s only once slightly done something

Can you clarify this please? You do realise he's abusive don't you? When he takes your bank card and spends your money, does he ask you? If you object (I suspect you don't dare), how does he react?

Why do you think he's not going to assault you? His behaviour is quite clearly escalating.

Not quite sure of this one. Good luck OP.

Don't be so niave.

I’m sorry but you’re a shit mum, human and fur.

Good God op. You’ve got daughters? 😮

Poor, poor kids.

What you do is make plans to leave with your kids and animals to keep them all safe. Contact Women’s Aid - you clearly have access to the internet - and they can give you information and advice. You are all in danger.

Jeez. Sometimes you can understand why men have such a low opinion of women. ‘Because I love him’ you love WHAT?? What’s there to love? You’re hooked on your own emotions girl.

My father hurt my dog (deliberately) once - once only. I always had as little to do with him as I could and was glad when he died. It’s possible for your poor daughters to get away from this man too, but life would have been far easier for them, and me, if we didn’t all have to deal with the ongoing crap.

If a man was violent to my dog I'd kill the bastard. Get rid, pronto.

It’s been a heck of a day. He’s gone, and me and my girls and cats are fine. Locks have been changed and he isn’t coming back until he can prove things have changed. Thank you to the kind people.