How many hours did you work after going back from maternity leave?

[twoorthreeorfour]

My contract is changing to 3 days, 22.5 hours. I wondered what other people do. If you reduced your hours, at what point did you go full time again?

As they were growing up I wanted DT’s to spend less time with us and enjoy new experiences. They ate healthy meals - no fussy eaters in our house and screen time was limited (kept them busy so it wasn’t an issue).
Not all children are as you describe.

I went back 22.5 hours a week, then went off on maternity leave again 10 months later.

When I return I’m going to top up my hours with some locum work, and aim to transition into full time locum work once I’ve established if it’s “for me” or not. That way I’ll still have flexibility and remote working.

Disabled children put in institutions. That would include autistic and neurodivergent children.

medications have improved and are now available so those children can function and remain with families.

meanwhile mums on amphetamines for weight control, uppers to keep them going and downers to sleep.

children weren’t spending all day on screens, no. But it wasn’t uncommon to be kicked out the house after breakfast and left to roam the streets until dinner time. Mums weren’t spending all day doing activities with their kids. Even in the 70’s I remember having to keep out the way while mum did the constant housework, daily groceries, faffing with the top loading washing machine. Not seeing my dad until the weekend as he was gone before we got up and home after we went to bed. Holidays we were put in holiday clubs as it was mum’s turn for a break.

it wasn’t as idyllic as you think.

Your mother has my sincere sympathies. How utterly ungrateful and disrespectful.

Back FT immediately. FT nursery is actually easier than when juggling school hours and inset days so I went to 25 hours when DS started school. DH dropped him off and I worked my hours over 5 days. It did mean commuting over 5 days but I could pick him up after school every day. They let me start an hour earlier than everyone else at 8 and finish at 2 and I used to have an hours break at midday. I used that time to walk around the campus I worked on and socialising with workmates. Leaving at 2pm meant I could shop on the way home. The amount saved on childcare was significant, we worked the numbers out and overall loss was only around £50 as so much saved on childcare. This was 15 years ago though when FT nursery was £50 per day.

DH always earned more than me due to his career choice but I started working when a very small child in my immigrant parents restaurant and had been working long hours since age 12. But was helping even in primary school. I was really glad to cut my hours after 30 years working. When I did my A levels I was working around 20 hours a week.

That’s true I think I was thinking sahp for first 3 years if wanted once children are in school unless health needs do ate otherwise there’s no reason not work. I completely agree re vulnerability. You read it on here sahm no pension , no ni contribution completely reliant on a dh who treats them like the help. That if scary.

Oh there’s still plenty of us around but you are correct that you don’t need to ‘worry’ about it. 1. It’s nothing to worry about and more importantly, 2. It’s none of your business!

Your mother has my deepest sympathies to have such a deeply ungrateful and disrespectful daughter. Picture how you’d feel in years to come if your children wrote off the childhood you’ve given them like that? Appalling.

@SayItLikeItIsLetsKeepItReal you are very aggressive in your view point and replies.

You're not a very nice person are you @SayItLikeItIsLetsKeepItReal ?
Why can't you understand that a family set up that involves a SAHP doesn't work for everyone.
Your passive aggressive 'sympathy' posts just make you look like a dick.

Nope, just calling out the constant disrespect that largely goes unchecked by the silent majority of SAHMs. Working Mums on here do not have any right to question them on the details of their finances, marriage, private arrangements, but they do, and can’t cope with any retaliation.

I do in real life too- anyone who has the cheek to say to me dismissively ‘oh I could never stay at home’, ‘oh my child needs Nursery’ in a rude and patronising way I absolutely call out on it too. Stop.

So do yours.

I’m a much nicer person actually because I know how to treat babies and toddlers well who can’t even speak or have any idea how to keep themselves safe around strangers, absolutely. I certainly don’t slag off the efforts of my own mother or those who don’t have much money. Snobbery isn’t nice.

Please point out where I have been disrespectful in any way to SAHMs or judged anyone's personal choices.
I've made it clear that I feel this is a personal choice and that there is no right or wrong answer here. I don't think you can say the same.

Are you saying working mothers don't know how to treat their children well? Wow.
You realise that comment alone makes you sound like a horrible person. Choosing to be a SAHP doesn't make you better (or nicer) than those who choose to work.

Full time after 6 months mat leave ; that was all you got.

Glad I did go back FT given how things panned out.

Should people be grateful that they were raised in poverty by choice? I don’t think so.

If my children decide to be a SAHP, I won’t be demanding that they should just be grateful. They don’t have to agree with every parenting decision we’ve made.

@SayItLikeItIsLetsKeepItReal

You are not calling anything out. You are just being rude and inflammatory. You are not coming across well at all.

FYI - my babies, toddlers and now DC and pre-teen were perfectly well treated thank you. You are just rude. Your arguments are not even cohesive.

So you can’t think of anything else apart from money in however many years your mother spent at home raising you that she did to try her best to help you? Unless she was abusive to you (which you would have my deepest sympathies with) then surely she tried her best in other ways? Pretty hurtful surely to not see the good in anything she tried to do for you? Only you know that of course, you lived it.

I don’t know anyone who doesn’t know how to treat their babies and children well - we all aim high for their care and future.

Well thank you for acknowledging it is a personal choice.

Plenty on here constantly gaslight SAHMs with ‘no choice is made in a vacuum’ (sick of that one), they need a more interesting job (nope, plenty have walked away from one like that), they would work if they had accessible, free childcare (they wouldn’t, the disagree with the concept in principle) or the absolute best one: ‘I do exactly the same as you any way’. How utterly minimising, disrespectful and actually an outright lie. No you do not if you are spending hours out working and outsourcing everything from your cleaning to your gardening to your ironing to your laundry (yes Parker231, I’ve read about how much you outsource). Absolute rubbish!

She did try her best but sometimes your best isn’t good enough. She wasn’t abusive but I don’t believe it was in my best interests to grow up watching my parents worry over every penny, struggle to buy food at times, constantly stress over money etc.

It wasn’t pleasant and I’m not going to lie about that to keep my mum happy.

Struggling to buy food sounds tough, sure fair enough then.

I do genuinely worry that in the future our own children will criticise all of us for our different decisions and that will hurt. Hopefully we can all try to show some kindness to our own parents.

I do actually believe most of us are trying our best.

I’ve the advantage of now having DC’s in their mid 20’s so can see the benefits of our lifestyle. Very proud of the people they are and their achievements.

I agree that the majority of us are doing our best. I will outright tell my children if they ask that I would’ve been a terrible SAHP and if anyone would’ve done it, it would’ve been their dad.