Excellent insults that have fallen out of fashion / you don’t hear anymore…

[FusionChefGeoff]

Twerp
Berk

I want to teach my 10 and 13 year olds some ‘funny’ insults from back in the day - any others that need resurrecting??

Pillock

Prat

Wazzock

I use these regularly (because my kids are pillocks, prats and wazzocks).

'Were you born in St Helens?' for the person blocking the TV, St Helens was the home of Pilkington glass.
'Put t'wood i'th 'hole' ie please close the door.

Rather Churchillian! When told in the Commons by Nancy Astor 'Sir, I believe you're drunk', he replied 'Madam, I believe you're ugly. Tomorrow, I'll be sober......'.

You make a better door than a window.

Knuckle dragger
Wally
Moron

Big girl's blouse.
Cloth head.

My father used to use this when I was a child.

For years I thought an “ha’porth” was some sort of ape/monkey!

clodhopper-clumsy person

More rabbit than Sainsbury's is another one. I believe Chas and
Dave used that in one of their songs! Incidentally I've never seen rabbit sold in Sainsbury's . In a local butcher, yes.

Nancy boy - meaning effeminate or homosexual

Berk isn't pronounced like Berkshire though, is it?

Berk rhymes with lurk
Berk(shire) = bark

Slaphead.
Divhead.
Lopper (although I say this quite often to my kid that always gets covered in muck).
Knobsack.
Moaning Minnie.
Vinegar tits.
Cardboard cut out.
Sourpuss.
Mardy bum, mardy bum, tell yer mum to smack your bum. 😂
I remember getting in trouble off my dad for calling someone a ‘spacker’. I obviously never used it again once I knew the actual meaning. I’d just heard it at school and copied.
Salad dodger.
Titty Fellore or something like that. I used to hear it quite often by older people in the 80’s (my Nan used to call it someone at work) and ‘here's mi tits, mi arse is following’ about women that used to walk in a certain way which shoved their boobs out when they walked.
Goggle eyes.
Mug.
You never hear anyone saying ‘get stuffed’ anymore either.

Pavement cracker

Not a classic I don't think but an ex used to say about particularly brainless individuals

'if wit was shit they wouldn't have enough to be constipated'

It’s from Berkeley Hunt, rather than Berkshire, which does have the ‘er’ pronunciation.

He works in the gorilla biscuit factory, meaning his face gets pushed into each biscuit to make it look like a gorilla. Gorilla biscuit for short.

Also, in King Lear, “Thou whoreson Zed! Thou unnecessary letter!” and my particular favourite from the same scene, “a lily-livered, action-taking knave, a whoreson, glass-gazing, super-serviceable finical rogue;” Bit of a mouthful when you’re cross with someone for having taken your parking spot at Tesco’s, though.

A shiftless buttock. Someone who is very lazy.

Sonofabitch in 80s American trash novels. I didn’t know how to pronounce it but I thought son-ofa-bitch. Ofa to rhyme with over not hover. Plus I wasn’t sure if it was an insult to the person to whom it was addressed or his mother 😂

Wallaper (means willy tho so maybe not)
windae-licker (which I believe originated as an ableist slur but I do still hear used).
Fud is a versatile belter, but does mean pudenda. From this thread I am definitely adopting hoser - until I find out it has some horrible meaning😂

Bomb-scare is a good one (as in, ‘ya absolute bomb-scare’ regarding someone who brings chaos wherever they go/cannot be trusted to behave well on a night out)

Pram-face.
Hallyrackit.
Gowk.
Rocket.
Nugget.
Roaster.
Gimp.
Face like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle/skelpit arse.
Big Chief Rain-In-The-Face (not many indigenous Americans to offend round our way)

I’ve always been partial to a Monty Python quote and the kids always enjoyed, “shut your festering gob, you tit.”

your neither use nor ornament.

Yes dgm used it

thought it was daft aper - like great ape which was on tv cartoons at the time

has a face only his/her mother would love

Dipped in the ugly pond is another one