Excellent insults that have fallen out of fashion / you don’t hear anymore…

[FusionChefGeoff]

Twerp
Berk

I want to teach my 10 and 13 year olds some ‘funny’ insults from back in the day - any others that need resurrecting??

Ah, I say bozo to make DH laugh 🤡 ‘What kind of bozos do they have running this joint anyway?!’

My friends late husband was a roofer. I had a red hat and he regularly used to holler "Ello Mrs Red Hat No knickers!" at me when I cycled past him on my bicycle.. I wore my hat to his funeral! ♥️

I call my dog most of these 🤣

Pilchard
Prick
Bellend
Dipstick
Numpty
Dickhead
Toad
Turdburger

One I thought of only a few days ago -

Ponce

Pillock.

Nincompoop is a brilliant word. We definitely need to bring this one back.

We used to say “she’s got more front than Tescos”

A sporny eyed toad faced wassock?

it makes a refreshing change

Haud yer wheesht -

Gorden Bennett - more something you say when yig’re surprised by something , rather than calling someone it.

Nounedit
window* licker (plural window lickers*)

1. (British, slang, offensive) A mentallyhandicapped person.

I wouldn't use window licker it's as bad as the joey one.

Ragger
I haven't heard anyone out of the North use it but must be short for raggamuffin.

Galoot- for a clumsy person.

Daftie
Doyle

Gompah- I remember spilling my sisters tea and she shouted. You absolute gompah.

We always shout "You proper gompah!" every time Will Gompertz comes on the telly!

No insult to him personally; it's just the name!

I used to get comments a lot when I was young about being fat. After one quite brutal session my lovely English teacher found me crying in the playground. She taught me a great response for the next time it happened, which was ‘Well, at least I can lose weight if I want. You’re stuck with that face for the rest of your life.’ It proved quite effective when required.

Plank

https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/piffy_on_a_rock_bun

@Comtesse we tend to use it when someone in the family is just standing/ sitting there looking gormless 😄

I was always told Piffy was a bakers cat who was told off for sitting on the rock buns!

Face like it’s been set on fire and beaten out with a shovel
legs off bay watch , face off crimewatch
Do you think I just fell out of that tree ?

Clot is one I haven’t heard in ages

numpty

Knobhead
Face like a slapped arse
Face like a bulldog chewing a wasp

I'd forgotten 'clot'! Seem to remember it being used in the name of a character in a comic. Corporal Clot? There was also 'Major (?) Blink, the short-sighted gink' but I don't remember any of us using the word 'gink' as an insult. (Apologies for any misrememberings. I'd welcome being corrected)

Update... Corporal Clott, in The Dandy, 1960.

And 'Colonel Blink, The Short-Sighted Gink' was in The Beezer.

Alternatively, can't stop a cat in an alley.

Lanky streak of piss.
Not an insult but ‘put wood in the hole’ for shutting the door. And ‘up the wooden hill’ for going upstairs.

Thou art better door than window! For person standing between you and TV. Yorkshire accent required.

See also: Tha great lummox.

NW version was 'more front than Blackpool'.