Excellent insults that have fallen out of fashion / you don’t hear anymore…

[FusionChefGeoff]

Twerp
Berk

I want to teach my 10 and 13 year olds some ‘funny’ insults from back in the day - any others that need resurrecting??

Calling someone a 'dry shite' - means they are no fun / dull company.

Wankstain

Knobcheese

Benny (assume after Benny from Crossroads?)
Turkey
Spod
Queb

Clot.

Knob' ead
Scone 'ead
Standing there like one at Lewis's
You must think I was born yesterday
Arse over tit i.e. clumsy
P.O.S. i.e. piece of shit
Scumbag

Haha - I was going to add “tell me you’re from Pompey without squinny’ing…”
😜

Don’t know if it’s already been mentioned but my Dad liked the word ‘Barmpot’ to describe certain people!

A sandwich short of a picnic
thick as a slice of bread
thick as two short planks
light's on but nobody's home
bats in the belfry

Seriously? Have you thought for a second about why it was perceived as an insult?

Or, a face for radio.

Go fuck yourself with the fat end of a pineapple.

Oh I'm sorry, are homophobic slurs not a problem on Mumsnet any more?

You egg
Tube

Pleb
Peasant
Imbecile
Wally

Nitwit
Dunce
Pleb
Fish face

All fur coat and no knickers
Their lift doesn't reach the top floor
She's got more front than Blackpool ,
A few sandwiches short of a picnic

Doris
nice face shame about the face
champagne lifestyle lemonade money
lights are on no one at home

I said this to my Dad once about someone, and he replied "Hit with the ugly stick? Given a severe beating more like!" 🤣

Dipstick!

My dad: well, you don’t look at the mantelpiece when you’re poking the fire….🙈

Gormless chuff 😂
If you had a brain you’d be dangerous.

Not so much insults, but common sayings from my mum when I was little:

“You’re in a state worse than Russia” = sympathetic, eg oh dear, you’ve fallen over and your knee is bleeding, that must hurt / you are overtired, too hot and cross / yes it IS unfair, no wonder you’re crying.

”Brick off the chimney?” = I asked you what you wanted and gave you a number of options, starting with a cup of tea, and you were too slow to answer / decide. This is my final offer.

”It’s better than a cup of cold sick” = look on the bright side. And versatile: “cup of cold sick?” in place of “brick off the chimney?”

All fur coat and no knickers
Red hat, no drawers (of someone wearing a red hat)
As daft as a brush
Must have been hiding behind the door when good looks were given out
A face like a slapped arse

Div and divvy is still used by scousers