Excellent insults that have fallen out of fashion / you don’t hear anymore…

[FusionChefGeoff]

Twerp
Berk

I want to teach my 10 and 13 year olds some ‘funny’ insults from back in the day - any others that need resurrecting??

Overheard in the Black Country:
'You couldn't have punched her any uglier'
'The things you see when you haven't got your gun'

As well as the many already mentioned, from my 80s/90s childhood popular mild insults were Wally, Ninny or Biffa (like the big bins). Many much nastier ones abounded, especially when I arrived at secondary school, on the milder end was ‘moose’ for an unattractive girl.

Chump

An Arkansas double sacker…meaning someone so unattractive you’d have to put a bag over both your heads during sex in case his/hers fell off.

Knobber. Said in a Manc accent in my school days!

Munter.

A right Herbert.

We use a lot of these phrases but I've never even thought about them!

As much use as a tuppence ha'penny bit
Eejit
Plonker
Prannet

I'm ashamed to remember a boy at school with terrible acne who we called Spotty Muldoon, fellow oldies may remember the song!

Shut your face.

so simple, so effective
but never hear it anymore

Cock Womble
a wool
scrote

A face that'd stand clogging, was my grandma's favourite way of describing a cheeky, hard-faced person.

Gobbin head
Dozy duck

Joey Deacon was a disability rights advocate with cerebral palsy who became famous when he appeared on Blue Peter in the 80's.

Unfortunately, 'Joey' became an insult akin to calling someone a 'spastic,' also an insult commonly used around that time.

Neither should be revived IMO.

Oh my god! Id totally forgotten about that one! Thanks for the reminder and chuckle 😁

From my childhood and/or secondary school days:

Gurt pudden - daft person

Squiff - nerd/geek

Cloner - someone who copied others. Woe betide you if you turned up on the first day of term with an identical rucksack to one of the popular girls. You must have copied her, you cloner!

Skanky - similar to minging

Er, Dime ... bar? - said when someone was slow to get the point. From an advert for Dime bars featuring Harry Enfield as a West Country yokel.

Got a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp.

A face like a tomcat licking piss from a thistle.

We also had 'a face like Jimmy Nail licking vinegar from barbed wire'.

Plantpot

Me too 😂

Who is Piffy on a rock bun???? Sounds brilliant

My personal favorites, courtesy of my mother, are trog and trout

My late OH would describe hefty a woman by saying 'she could kick-start a Lancaster'.

So tight he wouldn't give you the steam off his piss...

I wouldn't kick him out of bed for eating crisps..

Couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery.

She could smoke in the rain
(Someone with a big nose)

Pinhead
bozo

Tripehound - said by my long dead grandfather, usually about policitians.

Not heard that before but I've heard swine hound

Yes, that always sounds better when said in German - Schweinhund.

It's not a classic but it makes me laugh whenever it pops in to my head. At the end of the last series of MAFS Australia, one of the couples parted company on a bad note. The chap shouted after her as she walked off "begone with you, you horrible woman". It was apt, summed her up (he wasn't great either mind) and I liked the way it wasn't really offensive or sweary!