Excellent insults that have fallen out of fashion / you don’t hear anymore…

[FusionChefGeoff]

Twerp
Berk

I want to teach my 10 and 13 year olds some ‘funny’ insults from back in the day - any others that need resurrecting??

Thick as mince
thick as two short planks
light are on but there’s no one home
not the sharpest pencil in the box

I actually used the word 'twerp' today. It's a great word! Nincompoop is quite good too. My grandma used the word 'flibbertygibbet' (not sure of the spelling!) for a flighty, flirty sort of girl.

I'd imagine ponce and knob jockey, both suggested above, have fallen out of fashion on the grounds that they are wildly homophobic?

Troglodyte

ya lumox (basically an oaf, but thicker and fatter)
Ninc-um-poop

A right Mary-Ann.

i have no idea what the origin of that is but it’s Yorkshire.

Geordie here. Thanks for reminding me of this. Sackless was a great adjective...you sackless twonk 😆
Also Wazzock was used liberally in the 80s

Better late than pregnant.

My very well behaved, studious schoolfriend didn't get the difference between twit and twat. She was so innocent that I didn't like to tell her and she carried on saying it.
"Fow" was the insult of choice at school, used for ugly and usually directed at girls.
How about blethryed for an vintage insult.

You’re a bounder and a cad!
(I think you’d need to be of a generation such as Terry Thomas to carry this off properly)

Humdinger
Twit
Wally
Minger

One of my late OH's favourites, also prat .

Ohh yes, haha, this was so common when I was at high school in early 2000s

Face like a slapped arse.

Some of the insults from 70s 80s were brutal when looking back and used without a second thought.

Minger
Tramp
Scrubber
Div
'flid' was used a lot growing up but the roots of the word aren't great..

Minger/minging
Space cadet
Sharon/Tracy
Trevor
Toerag
Charver
Rank
Eejit

Twat and wanker are surely still commonly used aren't they? But I have lived abroad for nearly two decades and maybe my English has stayed at the point it was at when I left and I haven't learned the new insults!

Some old ones for me which I think have been covered

pillock
twat
eejit
plank
tosser
knob
muppet
git
nincompoop
Gobshite
Useless
Arse licker/brown nose
Bore off

I love an old dig saying, I’ve tried to teach my DDs but they are too much rule followers and won’t use them.

Kettle calling the pot black
Not as green as cabbage looking
Not a full shilling
Sandwhich short of a picnic
All brawn and no brains
About as useful as a chocolate teapot
Have you looked in the mirror recently
If you had any brains you’d be dangerous
brain like a sieve
next time engage your brain before you speak.

Antwacky - used to refer to someone or something old fashioned or not fashionable

Scally - someone dodgy or up to no good

Tilly Mint - my grandads favourite, refers to any sassy young lady

Soft lad/Soft girl - someone devoid of common sense

Divvy

No mark - someone beneath contempt, not worthy of attention

Minger - someone deeply unattractive

manky - something not clean

Gob on a stick - someone who talks too much or likes the sound of their own voice

I grew up in Liverpool and these are the non sweary or non offensive ones I remember using as a kid. Still use Divvy and soft lad, must bring back the others 😂

Ooooh.... I didn't know that 😱

I like screwball comedy insults like knucklehead, dum-dum/dummy and dingbat.

Oh this reminds me of my uncle. I love it!

Oh I have enjoyed this thread! On the lines of ‘sandwich short of a picnic’, we also used to use ‘a flake short of a weetabix’. Nincompoop and twit still in regular use here, as affectionate insults. Less affectionate ones: dickhead, moron, thick as mince / pigshit. Old folk are daft giffers, and being left waiting is ‘sat ‘ere like Piffy on a rock’. Not heard of a rock bun like a PP mentioned…

Did we have the same class!

In the NW 'it was 'came up the Irwell on a teatray