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Death

114 replies

BobhopeNohope · 11/07/2025 21:48

Light-hearted
When I die if anyone says I "lit up a room" or any other such nonsense I'm coming back to haunt them
🤣

OP posts:
Username2151 · 11/07/2025 21:54

What would you like someone to say OP?
If someone said that I "lit up a room" it would be an attempt to lighten the atmosphere!
To be fair, it's an aptly descriptive saying for many vivacious people!

EveryKneeShallBow · 11/07/2025 22:00

I shall haunt anyone who says I was a “lovely lady”.

BobhopeNohope · 11/07/2025 22:02

Username2151 · 11/07/2025 21:54

What would you like someone to say OP?
If someone said that I "lit up a room" it would be an attempt to lighten the atmosphere!
To be fair, it's an aptly descriptive saying for many vivacious people!

I'm a miserable fucker who never lit up a room in my life
😅
Also its lighthearted

OP posts:
Enko · 11/07/2025 22:05

I told my boss I was coming back to haunt him if he gave me the upcoming new brief from a client I find seriously misogynistic.. cant atand the guy
Boss laughed

KnickerlessParsons · 11/07/2025 22:06

I want a bloody big stone angel on
my grave. The biggest in the graveyard.

Saz12 · 11/07/2025 22:21

If you turned to a bit of petty arson, then it would be quite good in yr eulogy, though the grammar might need some work.

ETA - I think I'd like a massive, perfectly carved stone gerbil as my headstone. Just something that, in a couple generations time, woukd confuse the crap out of people.

PractisingMyTelekenipsis · 11/07/2025 22:23

I quite fancy something along the lines of "she fucking hated you all"

Rainbow321 · 11/07/2025 22:25

I hate - " They had a good innings " .

MsNevermore · 11/07/2025 22:26

Ever seen the movie “Bernie” OP?
😂😂😂😂
I always send my DH a clip of the elderly neighbour lady talking about the deceased woman in the movie: “She was a mean bitch. Anyone round here woulda shot her for $5”

CanadianJohn · 11/07/2025 22:27

I'm a miserable old bugger at the best of times. I doubt many people will grieve.

HerVagestyTheQueef · 11/07/2025 22:37

"She was alright, like" would be more than generous for me, especially if accompanied by a shrug.

mindingmyown37 · 11/07/2025 22:40

I shall haunt anyone who tries putting me in a bra for the cremation/service. I spent a lifetime holding them up, it’s time for them to be free 🤭

abracadabra1980 · 11/07/2025 22:44

I’m mid 50’s and I talk about death a lot with my (adult) DC. We often have a bit of banter about it.
I lost my DF recently (was a blessing in the end after a long illness), and although he was a super organised person in general, both him and DM seem never to have discussed death. In the end it drove me quite mad and I still don’t know whether we played the right music at his funeral, or what he wanted as his illness progressed , etc.. he was funny, and we did make it humorous which he would have appreciated.

So; I am currently completing a death journal entitled
“ITS YOUR PROBLEM NOW - BECAUSE I’M DEAD” it will be left in place for my DC to find, and if they are sad, it’ll hopefully make them laugh.
Its actually a very useful and guide and takes you through things you might have forgotten to write down for them, which would be useful/vital for your loved ones to know once you have departed this planet.
I don’t want a funeral, I think they are a waste of money, but I’d like a bench making, for the lovely walks I took my dogs on over the years.
Lastly, I’d like to find out the date I’m going to peg it; I’m not one for surprises but I’m pragmatic - I would find it most useful to know how long I’ve got left 🤷‍♀️

Username2151 · 11/07/2025 22:47

BobhopeNohope · 11/07/2025 22:02

I'm a miserable fucker who never lit up a room in my life
😅
Also its lighthearted

Haha yeah me too, I kind of figured it was a light-hearted post 😂

VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 11/07/2025 22:59

KnickerlessParsons · 11/07/2025 22:06

I want a bloody big stone angel on
my grave. The biggest in the graveyard.

Me too. I want to scare the shit out of kids who love Doctor Who.

Saz12 · 11/07/2025 23:05

Totally agree re: leaving your NoK with funeral ideas - hymns, songs, or no funeral, burial or cremation, where ashes/ grave could go, whatever.

NewsdeskJC · 11/07/2025 23:07

I want a bench in the park
"Newsdesk wasted the best years of her life here, watching the kids and staring at her phone"

Pivilepivling · 11/07/2025 23:07

She always said she was ill…..

Username2151 · 11/07/2025 23:24

CanadianJohn · 11/07/2025 22:27

I'm a miserable old bugger at the best of times. I doubt many people will grieve.

They may not grieve your demise @CanadianJohn , or they might.
Not many people are truly glad that someone they know has died, but I betcha there would be some who would miss you.😏

ooooohlala · 11/07/2025 23:29

I quite wanted to be buried at sea.

But then I learned that they put an indestructible collar around your neck with a big notice saying that you’re a legal sea burial not a murder victim. That makes it a bit less romantic, so now I’m not sure.

BooneyBeautiful · 11/07/2025 23:32

Saz12 · 11/07/2025 23:05

Totally agree re: leaving your NoK with funeral ideas - hymns, songs, or no funeral, burial or cremation, where ashes/ grave could go, whatever.

My two DC know exactly what to do. I have already paid for an unattended cremation, so they definitely haven't got that to worry about.

olderbutwiser · 11/07/2025 23:35

If I die when I still have enough people to fill the crem I want them all in black and weeping. None of this celebration of life and colourful clothes crap. I quite like the idea of a Victorian glass hearse pulled by horses with plumes on their heads.

but if nobody much is going to be there then just direct cremation and sprinkle me on the allotment round my gooseberries.

BobhopeNohope · 11/07/2025 23:46

ooooohlala · 11/07/2025 23:29

I quite wanted to be buried at sea.

But then I learned that they put an indestructible collar around your neck with a big notice saying that you’re a legal sea burial not a murder victim. That makes it a bit less romantic, so now I’m not sure.

Shoot me out of a cannon.
Or an egg timer they'll get family games night out of me yet.
😅

OP posts:
darkenednights · 11/07/2025 23:56

KnickerlessParsons · 11/07/2025 22:06

I want a bloody big stone angel on
my grave. The biggest in the graveyard.

I hope you're leaving a lot of money behind to pay for it! :-)

darkenednights · 11/07/2025 23:58

I've told mine, "Don't give me a funeral." Should keep it simple.