Death

[BobhopeNohope]

Light-hearted
When I die if anyone says I "lit up a room" or any other such nonsense I'm coming back to haunt them
🤣

When I gave the clothes to the undertaker for my late sister there was no way I was making her wear a bra for eternity. She had nice clothes , knickers but no tights and no bra. I shall expect her to thank me when we meet again.

When I was married I used to tell my then husband "if you die, make sure it's a Wednesday so I can put you out with the black bags for the next day collection".

He also had a MN outing hobby - cycling so I said I'd sprinkle his ashes all around the route he used to cycle every bloody day (to the detriment of a regular job that normal people do (not bum around and sponge off your wife). That's why he's an ex.

No funeral or whatever for me. Zap me at the crem and can do whatever with my ashes.

I lost my ds 9 months ago and don't find your thread offensive or triggering OP.
I too have completed a death book, direct cremation paid for, everything in place. I hate RIP, feathers, robins and platitudes ...I told my friends no flowers or cards when he died.
Do some positive! Raise money for a suicide prevention charity, talk about it, educate people.

I want a fancy but short funeral. I have a long name so getting that spelt out in flowers should drain the inheritance nicely. I’d like pallbearers in top hats and a glass hearse. IMO you can spot the funerals planned by the deceased because they’re usually far too long. Quick blast of ‘Think of me Now and Again’ and One Art, and I’m done, burn the wicker coffin and scatter me illegally in the river by the pub.

Then they can click the back button and exit the thread.

I'm quite comfortable with the inevitability of my own death, I sat with my DD as she died and for a while after. I'm not in denial about it and sometimes you just need a reprieve from it being so heavy all the time.

I guess I'll have to apologise to my DD in the afterlife. I sent a bra along to the funeral home for her. In my defense I did actually hesitate over whether I should or not but decided to send one along and let them do whatever was 'the done thing'. I had no clue.

I'm sorry for your loss. The loss of a child is the worst.

Thank you. It's utterly shit. But I have to live a life and not be a miserable cow.

OP, I’m with you. I detest the phrase ‘he/she lit up any room’ it’s so naff, I work in a funeral home so hear it all the time at funerals. I know a few celebrants on the local, funeral circuit who also can’t stand the phrase and when presented with a tribute they read on behalf of the family that contains that phrase, have to pinch their way through saying it.

I'm right there with you. The only way is forward. Some days that's easier than others but we just keeping marching on and living the best lives we can.

“She would do anything for anyone but she wouldn’t do that” Might keep them all guessing!

Solidarity, sister. 👊

I also don't want RIP or "taken too soon"
If anything "she lived at least 20 years longer than she wanted" would be more honest.

Either that or I want everyone wailing and collapsing in floods of tears.

Direct cremation for me. If I had a gravestone, though, don’t think you could beat Spike Milligan’s “I told you I was ill” (his was written in Irish).

Am a big fan of The Cohen Brothers’ films so would like my ashes scattered from a catering size coffee can on a windy day 😁.

All my funeral details, wishes, music etc is with my youngest niece... 💕

I'd quite like to do this.

God, yes, a bra for all eternity!! I don’t care how far they’d need rolling up under my arms to get them into the coffin by the time I kick it, DON’T PUT A BRA ON ME. Equally, nor a pair of knickers that have that thin band of elastic at the top, like I’m being sliced into by a cheesewire.

”She was a massive pita, but some of us still loved her. The rest of you can fuck off tho”.

Eta: I shall put in a stipulation that family anyone who hasn’t bothered with me for more than a year before will be banned from any service so I don’t have to float around listening and seeing lots of hypocritical crying people 😆

Imagine being dead and still having to wear a bra.
I'd definitely be haunting people.
I just wantvthe bare amount of people at my funeral.
Nobody that hasn't bothered me in a while.

Big huge pink coffin,horses with plume
Madonna playing as I'm being cremated.
And a huge party.
That's what I want.

I probably won't get it
🤣

If anyone says I ‘passed’ or ‘passed away, I will haunt them. Not that I believe in anything beyond death.

I want a hearse led by the undertaker walking in a top hat going through town. I hardly know anyone so it will confuse everyone.
I quite like the idea of recording my own eulogy to be played back, genius idea!

Organise it all now. That way you will get what you want!

There will be none of this recent trend of wearing bright colours. Wear black and show some bloody respect!

Brilliant 🤣