Prank called my boyfriend with an app and a woman answered… nearly 10pm. Feeling confused.

[PeaceOverChaos]

Okay, I feel a bit silly even writing this but I need to get it off my chest.

Earlier tonight, I used one of those prank call apps to call my boyfriend — just messing around, nothing serious. We’ve done dumb stuff like this before, but this time when the call went through… a woman answered. It was nearly 10pm.

He lives at home with his dad and little sister (who’s quite young), and I don’t live with him. So there shouldn’t be any other women around that I know of, especially not answering his phone late at night.

I didn’t say anything — I just hung up, completely thrown. And honestly, part of the reason I haven’t brought it up is because it’s kind of embarrassing to admit I prank called him in the first place 🙈 But now I’m stuck wondering what the hell that was about.

Could there be a normal explanation? Or is this a red flag I shouldn’t ignore? I really don’t want to jump to conclusions but it’s eating away at me a bit.

Anyone had something like this happen?

Or she suspects something is going on so deliberately answered the phone to find out!

I don't think I've been aggressive, although I haven't replied to you directly.

I'm genuinely curious - do neither you nor any of your friends and family ever get phone calls coming through that you really wouldn't want to answer?

Anything along the lines of an ex, an unwanted acquaintance, a colleague ringing out of work time, a scam caller, a new partner, a nosy neighbour, or anyone else whom it's just not convenient to speak to in that moment?

I totally accept that everyone is different, and plenty of people seem not to mind.

😁

In my 20s I was seeing someone who always made some excuse or other about me not going over to his. Turned out he was living with a gf. I couldn’t believe it took a few months for the penny to drop with me. I never fell for that again.

Completely fine to have a different opinion and helpful to know. Plenty of people have responded and expressed their opinion politely ( as you have) but others have been quite personal and nasty in their response.
I don’t just answer everyone’s phones by the way and the people whose phones I do answer I’m close enough to to know whose calls they don’t want - like their dodgy ex etc.
Anyway - wasn’t expecting to cause a controversy so I’m stepping back to let the OP get some advice on what she actually asked about!

It’s because it such an incredibly rude thing to do. You don’t get to decide if the person whose phone it is has to talk to that person or not. Besides, if it was important they would leave a voice message or text.

Not adding to the pile on as you say, just trying to explain if you genuinely don’t understand how rude it is.

Is he Indian/asian too? Does he have a wife that you don’t know about?

But you are adding to the pile on. I’m not “ incredibly rude” . I just do something in a way that is different to you. If my family or friends were unhappy with me doing so I would not do it. They do not view it as rude - they see it as helpful as I do when they pick up my phone for me.
I appreciate now that a lot of people feel differently but I’m simply talking about my own personal circle in which this is a routine thing to do. It does not make me rude, intrusive, weird or any of the other things I’ve been called

A world where it's SOMEONE else's phone. It is not a landline. It is a PERSONAL phone.

I've never met anyone who needed to be explained to jot touch someone else's phone

Well... they said they found it hilarious.

Yes i have a general expectation that adults say what they mean. Having worked with my manager for three years i have no hesitations that he would have made any displeasure known.

Well at least you get each person’s permission that it’s ok. If you answered people’s phones without knowing how they stand on the matter that would be rude. As long as everyone is on the same page it’s not an issue.

I do think you are all lucky though that none of you mind who is calling. One particular friend I have to psych myself up for.

I think it's out of order. I'd be really annoyed if someone picked up my phone and answered it and I'd never do it to someone else. It could be a private call that I wouldn't want to take in company or even want someone to know I was in contact with. It could be someone who has been harassing me.
If the partner of one of my friends answered their phone I'd worry that they were being abused and their partner was keeping a check on their phone.

Before phones came along people sent letters. You wouldn't open someone else's post would you?

No- but I might hand them the envelopes.

Been together for a few years
but never been to his house

have you met his dad /sister /any friends or family

Sounds like his wife answered the call

I definitely would not answer Simeon’s phone at 10 at night. Surely you’d think it was a personal call?

As I say (not aggressively) don’t assume it’s ok to answer others phones! You say you do it with “friends”.

Do not assume your “friends” would like you to answer their personal phones !

BT call screening many oldies have it from experience calling to speak to relatives of dementia patients I'm anaesthetising. Tis chargable

No need to put friends in inverted commas. I’m not sure what point you’re trying to make or if it’s just to undermine me. And it’s not an assumption- if they were unhappy with it they would tell me. They do it for me and each other too. As I said - I accept that this is different for different people. You seem to have great difficulty in understanding that not everyone has the same opinion or same behaviours as you .

Are you sure it’s not the call? As they pause before the receiver answers (because most people pick up but wait for the other person to speak on a cold call) I’ve had these prank calls done before and I’ve been silent and the ‘caller’ ie. the recorded message has said “Hello?”, or do you have the transcript of the prank call?

And I mean the transcript (if there is one) of the call you have chosen.

Why wouldn't you?

If DH is in the bathroom, or outside in the garden somewhere, or has gone out and forgotten to take his phone with him, of course I'll answer it. There's no difference between doing that and answering a landline in the good old days when you didn't know who the caller was ringing to speak to. You just answered it anyway.

I'm on several hospital waiting lists, I have just been on the emergency cancer pathway AGAIN and they have NEVER once in 30+ years called at 10pm.

How old are your children that they are 'playing out' at 10pm, even my teens not out wandering the streets that late.

My kids don't go to school at night and school has NEVER phoned me at 10pm (who would even be there? the staff go home you know)

Work has never phoned us at 10pm (maybe if you work on call or night shift but for most of us thats not the case certainly not my case).

My family (apart from my kids) are now all dead but even when they where alive I only once ever received a late night phone call and it was about a family suicide. They would have left it until morning but they thought the police where on their way to my house ask me to ID the body so they wanted to give a heads up. What are your family doing that require so many 10pm emergency family calls?