Prank called my boyfriend with an app and a woman answered… nearly 10pm. Feeling confused.

[PeaceOverChaos]

Okay, I feel a bit silly even writing this but I need to get it off my chest.

Earlier tonight, I used one of those prank call apps to call my boyfriend — just messing around, nothing serious. We’ve done dumb stuff like this before, but this time when the call went through… a woman answered. It was nearly 10pm.

He lives at home with his dad and little sister (who’s quite young), and I don’t live with him. So there shouldn’t be any other women around that I know of, especially not answering his phone late at night.

I didn’t say anything — I just hung up, completely thrown. And honestly, part of the reason I haven’t brought it up is because it’s kind of embarrassing to admit I prank called him in the first place 🙈 But now I’m stuck wondering what the hell that was about.

Could there be a normal explanation? Or is this a red flag I shouldn’t ignore? I really don’t want to jump to conclusions but it’s eating away at me a bit.

Anyone had something like this happen?

My hubby and I answer each others phones, I

Answering another person’s phone without being asked is seriously weird.

a. There’s no reason to. The person they wanted isn’t there. When they come back they will see who called

b. The person being phoned may not want to answer the call. It could be work or scammers. Or any number of others they wish to avoid. Picking up a call from a scammer sets your number as being in use for future.

c. Phones are personal. Who is calling and why is personal. As if what’s on the phone. Just leave it alone.

d. As number one. There’s literally no point except to be nosy

Probably not!

People that work, on a hospital waiting list, have children in school (in case school rings) , children out playing (in case they ring), have other family or friends that may need help. Lots of people.

What ?
Absolutely not , I wouldn’t dream of doing that and I’d be mightily pissed off if someone answered my phone .
What if they didn’t want to take the call ?
Missed calls are there to see ( & decide if you want to ring back ) it isn’t 1980 on a landline ffs.

I really don't think most people would. It's beyond intrusive!

What!?

Agreed - it all sounds a bit silly and possibly more of an effort to check up on the boyfriend than admitted.

Mine too!

What did you hope to achieve with the prank call?

You're not "disillusioning' anyone. What is the norm in your house isn't the norm in others. Get over it.

This 100%

I always have the ringer on?
Am I doing something wrong?! 😂

I don't think you know what disillusioned means and are getting confused with delusional. They don't mean the same thing.

As evidenced by this thread, some people do answer others phones. Whether you consider that the norm or not , you have been disillusioned of the notion that no one does it. You appear to be struggling to accept that though, which is when the word delusional comes in.

We always answer each others phones in my family.
It’s no different to answering a house phone.
If I leave my phone on my desk at work and it rings, I don’t have an issue with a colleague answering it.

Honestly I’d be worried. I’d phone again tonight and withhold my number and ask to speak to him. Even if a woman answers.

If he asks I’d say I’ve lost my phone and am calling from a pals phone. Just to let him know in case he’s been trying to get me. And then I’d ask about the woman.

I’d answer my husbands if I know the caller from caller ID and he was out or int he garden etc and I’d say it was me and that I’d fetch him for them

i would probably only answer for his parents, my parents or sister or our kids.

It's quite astonishing , given that one of the advantages of mobile phones is that you can see who is calling and it may well be someone you do not want to speak to, that so many people are happy to make that decision for others.

But why would they be answering his phone?

OP let’s start by being completely honest here. You suspect he may already be cheating and you wanted to catch him out didn’t you?
How long have you been together?
Have you been to his house?

Could also be a doctor or hospital.

Partners who don’t mind, or friends and family who don’t mind is not the same as someone thinking it’s ok to answer someone else’s phone just because it’s there, it’s rude and entitled.

A detail I didn’t mention before: the woman who answered had an Indian accent. That immediately ruled out anyone in his household — he lives with his dad and younger sister, and there’s no one else who could have picked up the phone, especially not a woman I’ve never heard about.

The only connection I can think of is someone he used to be friends with online years ago, who had an Indian-sounding name. He told me back then they never met in person, and that it was nothing serious. But now I genuinely don’t know what to believe.

What makes it worse is, I don’t even know for sure where he was last night. He said he was at home — but I never saw that for myself. And the truth is, I’ve never actually been to his house. We’ve been together a few years and only recently did he suggest I could come over sometime. But it never actually happened.

It’s all making me realise how many gaps I’ve been willing to overlook.

He’s been more withdrawn lately, emotionally distant, cold when I try to be affectionate — and if I try to talk about it, he gets defensive or dismissive. There’s this subtle aggression, not in the form of shouting or anything physical, but in his tone and the way he reacts. It makes me feel like I can’t speak freely without it turning into a problem.

And still… I feel like I can’t admit what’s happening. Like admitting it out loud would make it all too real. I have other stressful things going on in my life right now, and this is just tipping me over the edge emotionally. I don’t feel ready to face a breakup or unravel the full truth. I keep hoping there’s a normal explanation, even though deep down I don’t think there is.

If anyone’s been in a situation where your gut knows but your heart isn’t ready — how did you cope with that moment of realisation? How did you finally make peace with what had to happen?

Thank you again for all the support. Just writing this has helped a little.

When someone rings your house phone who do they want to speak to?

When someone rings your personal phone who do they want to speak to?

Well judging by some on this thread , it’s perfectly acceptable and normal to answer other people’s phones without permission.

For all those people who are horrified that I would answer someone’s phone - it’s a normal thing to do in my family/ friends. If someone didn’t want me to do it - I wouldn’t. I’m not a weirdly intrusive person .I do respect privacy and wouldn’t dream of going through someone’s phone.
My DP lost his phone one night on his way home from work - we were very lucky that a stranger in the train station answered a ringing phone that wasn’t theirs and then kindly handed it in to the station master.
I accept that for many of you answering a phone is stepping over the line . I was genuinely unaware of this . As I said it’s a normal thing to do in my circle. I respect your opinions on it.