People who genuinely don’t care what people think - how do you do it??

[Illprobsregretthis]

I heard Katherine Ryan make a joke about having a personality disorder that means she just does not give an F about what people think, and that honestly must be nice! I on the other hand sent an email that could be slightly misconstrued as harsh and worry about it for hours.

People who don’t care; how do you do it?? Or am I destined to be one of life’s over worriers?

Oh I agree. I think (frequently) I am over the hill on a skateboard and when you die it doesn’t matter nobody remembers the shit you pulled anyway. I mean for some people their sins do follow them (don’t want to name names but you know mass murderers!) but fit the average persons nobody cares.

I used to be crippled by anxiety, wondering whether people liked me, whether I looked stupid in my clothes, replaying whole conversations in my mind and agonising over what I said, what I should have said, what they maybe thought I said, etc.

Somewhere along the way I realised that if someone isn't going to like me because I made a shit joke or because I'm wearing a brightly coloured top or whatever, then they're not worth my time.

It's liberating.

I'm 46 now and I don't give a flying fuck what people think of me. And I have made more real connections with people since I stopped worrying and started being myself

Another vote for Menopause. I was the opposite, classic people pleaser. My circle of friends and family is far smaller now. My job is just a job. I really dont care. Sometimes I’m not even bothered what I think of myself! It’s liberating!

I don’t care what others think. I think it helped me spending time with my MIL who bases every decision on what others think. Her clothes, her car, her decor. She loved a patterned sofa but got a neutral one instead because she was worried others wouldn’t like it. It’s exhausting.

I don’t care what others think of me. I don’t upset others but I wear what I want, do what I want and enjoy my life my way.

I hit peri menopausal age. And now I just don’t give a shit.

on a daily basis I have
joint pain
hand pain
bad memory
been on my period for over three months.

that is just the tip of the iceberg of what is wrong with me. Anyone looking and judging can fuck off. Love them to live one day in my life and cope. Done worrying about what other people think of me. When I’m on my death bed and dying it won’t really matter.

Agree, this book really changed my view on this

People find me odd that I don’t care. I find it more odd that they do. But you’re right about people being too busy to care too much about you. Most people overthink how important they are in other people’s live. I don’t mean that in a derogative way. But them people generally don’t think that much about other people as they are too busy thinking about themselves.

I got old and hit my limit of fucks left to give.

I'd never want to hurt anyone unintentionally. So I try to be careful about what I say and how I say it, I know I can be seen as a bit blunt and harsh sometimes.

But if I upset someone with what I've done or said, I'll apologise if I didn't mean it to be hurtful. If they don't accept my apology (or if I did, in fact mean it to be hurtful) then so be it.

I really don't care beyond that point.

I’m just too knackered and have enough problems without adding what other ppl think to my pile

Another one saying “the let them theory” by Mel Robbins. Just wow! Reformed people pleaser here! Being 45 helps. You don’t like me, that’s absolutely a you issue!

I’m not saying I’ve mastered it although I try hard not to care. Age definitely helps. A key part for me is having confidence in yourself and your own judgement - if YOU feel you behaved appropriately and with respect and can live with your choices, then whatever the other person thinks is just that - their opinion, which in this case you don’t agree with.

I just think everyone who I’ve ever wanted to like me likes me. The people who don’t like me feel that way because I didn’t put the effort in to make them like me, so I don’t care what they think. I care what my DH thinks, my family, and my very close friends, but overall I do not care. I also don’t mind being disliked and in the past I would go out of my way to wind people up who disliked me by being around them as much as possible. I don’t do that anymore because I have kids to focus on… but I can’t lie I do like a good wind up.

The trick is you need to be okay with being disliked. It’s fine for people to dislike you and they can think whatever they want. Personally I don’t care as long as they’re not disrespectful… and if they want to get disrespectful I don’t mind being mean.

I just don't.

Figured that if someone doesn't like me or something I do, that's a them problem.

Yes I agree with this.

Menopause happened. I couldn’t give a stuff what people think of me. Life is too short to worry about things that are not in my sphere of control.
Work think I am weird, that’s fine by me. Pretty sure my manager can’t stand me and I can’t control that either.

I just live my life. My dogs love me so all is well.
In all honesty, I stopped worrying what people thought when I went NC with my family. It was 40 years now. It’s liberating, not worrying.

I would add that I think I'm a nice, caring and thoughtful person. 😀

Same.

People genuinely don’t think about you as much as you think they do.

Getting older helps enormously to stop caring about what other people think of you. I know I’m a caring, decent, hardworking, honest and generous person and if you disagree then that’s your headspace that’s being occupied, not mine. Have to say it’s quite liberating!

I am kind and polite and generally try to be as good and patient as I can etc etc, and I won't be cruel or unkind, but I'm not going to worry about what I look like or what random strangers thought about me. That's on them.

I had a horrible thing happen to me some years ago, which changed me irreparably, and now I reckon life is too short and too beautiful to waste it worrying.

Hah! You know my mum said something similar. She was genuinely surprised that I said I was worried about what people thought, she kind of mulled on it and said “I suppose I used to, but I don’t now”. Hopefully it’ll come for me too!! I’m 32 though, so surely if it was going to happen I’d have mellowed by now?!

I like to think I don’t care and I have got waaaaay better the older I’ve got but then… tonight, for example, driving home, pulled into my road and reversed onto my driveway. Woman behind me is shaking her head at me because she’s having to wait for me to park before she can carry on. I have been going over and over in my head if I could have done anything differently to prevent her reaction… What an absolute waste of my time!!!!

I got past 45 with very few fucks left to give.

Dunno I just got older and gave less fucks. Now I'm 50 and they've all gone.

Love this!