What would you do in our position?

[Weightloss12]

Hi, we’re a family of 5. Me and my fiancee currently share a room with our almost 3 year old daughter, we bought a 3 bedroom terraced house in January, our son has the box room, and our autistic 5 year old daughter has her own room, we’re thinking ahead to how we could make it work bedroom wise, our loft isn’t an option, and splitting the rooms would mean splitting a window, and unsure if it would be safe fire regs wise. We can’t put our 3 year old in with our 5 year old because she isn’t safe to be left unsupervised. WWYD?

Can you list the rooms you have?

Is there a dining room that can be turned into a bedroom for you and your partner for example?

How old is your DS? If he’s young, could you move your DD into the box room and your DS and 3 year old share the other room?

I wouldn’t have bought a 3 bed to begin with if you planned on having another child and were already a family of 4 including an autistic child who presumably needs her own space.

How many rooms are there downstairs? If it’s not open plan, I’d be putting your son in the dining room there and then your 3 year old in son’s room. Keep autistic daughter where she is.

if not then 3 year old will need to stay in your room as waking the kids isn’t fair. You’re right that splitting a room with window is a fire hazard.

if you don’t have space downstairs, I would be looking to move elsewhere that’s your only option really

Autistic child presumably would not be able to cope with change/ another child in room/ may need safe space alone incase of meltdowns.

Why did you buy a house that wasn't suitable for your circumstances?

Convert a room downstairs into a bedroom or put DD in the box room and have the other two share.

Depends on the child. I was suggesting autistic dd has her own room though, just switching the rooms round so she has the small one and the t he others can share the bigger one. There’s not much other choice really unless OP wants to sleep downstairs.

@Weightloss12 What were your reasons for purchasing this (unsuitable) house in January, or, what were your intentions and plans at that stage regarding who sleeps where?

I don’t think it would be fair to lump a 3 year old toddler in with one of the other older kids, can see her keeping older son awake especially if she’s not used to sleeping alone yet.

What were you plans when you moved to this house only 6mths ago? Has something changed since then?

Is there an attached garage that could be converted? Could you split the largest room like the pic?

You could maybe add a partition wall in your front room as generally you don’t need planning permission.but I think best situation here is to sell up. What’s the reason loft can’t be converted?

it’s a long story we’ve lived here 3 years so before our daughter was diagnosed, we bought my finacee’s grandparents house at a huge discount, we literally couldn’t have turned it down, like half it’s worth.

I'm confused. Is the terrace a difference house to where you have been living for the past 3yrs???

...we bought a 3 bedroom terraced house in January

Maybe your best bet is to start looking for somewhere more suitable, sell-up and move on.

You three year old is ok in with you for another year or so.

It’s only just high enough to stand up in x

This isn't going to work. You need to move.

i was about to start explaining but it’s so outing 😂 yes it’s the same house we’ve lived in for 3 years we bought it from family

I think partition walls can still work for low ceilings. It’s worth speaking to a construction service and seeing if you’d need any sort of planning permission. But if you can’t do the loft and/or it’s a cost issue you’d be best off selling up.

That means you would likely be able to sell on for a large profit compared to what you paid, and buy somewhere more suitable. If it’s an old building there may be a limit to what work you can get done to it anyway.

Maybe not everyone can afford massive houses??

How about the boy and girl share for the next few years then you reassess whether your ASN daughter can cope with sharing with her sister in a few years time

Or try to save for an extension or see the property and buy another

It’s unfair to put a toddler in with an older child, especially if they’re not used to sleeping alone. They’ll keep the son awake.

Firstly there were two parts to my question and what sense does it make to purchase an unsuitable house? I asked before OP updated us with further info.

Ignore the people insulting you for not being able to afford a four bedroom house.

The two youngest DC can share ar the moment - it's quite a while before puberty will hit for either and then privacy becomes an issue. Who knows what will happen between now and then?

And potentially save for an extension out the back, if there is space? You'd be amazed what is possible - my exh and I managed to add three rooms to our small (listed - we sought and got planning permission) 3 bed cottage, and for less than you might think....

Get a clever architect round maybe, and see what they can suggest?

How old is your son?

They got current house at a massive discount and could sell it for a lot more and keep the profit/ put it towards a four bedroom.