What would you do in our position?

[Weightloss12]

Hi, we’re a family of 5. Me and my fiancee currently share a room with our almost 3 year old daughter, we bought a 3 bedroom terraced house in January, our son has the box room, and our autistic 5 year old daughter has her own room, we’re thinking ahead to how we could make it work bedroom wise, our loft isn’t an option, and splitting the rooms would mean splitting a window, and unsure if it would be safe fire regs wise. We can’t put our 3 year old in with our 5 year old because she isn’t safe to be left unsupervised. WWYD?

It’s an option but means you have to give up your proper bed long term. The best option if you don’t want to sell is to put your son’s bed in the playroom.

I also spotted that she has a playroom! why cant she move to the play room. Walk round the house to get into back garden.

Yeah that’s what I said but she says she feels it’s too far away from them and the other kids. I think.

@Weightloss12 it is actually very easy for builders to raise the roof! my son did and now has two extra bedroom plus a bathroom in the attic space. downstairs bathroom was made into a shower room.

For context, the “playroom isn’t really a room, more of an open exstension, that funnily enough my oh’s grandparents had put on as a solution to this very same problem 50 years ago, there sons were teens though so it’s a bit different, it could work but we’d have to put a false wall up

You move to the 'playroom' and install a curtain across the room which can be closed in the daytime to make a walkway to the back door and screen off your room.

@allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld and the others that said they can just walk around to the back garden from the front door and down the side. Didn't the OP say its a terrace? If its mid terrace- then I assume the only route to the back garden is through the house?

Your right, we’re in a the middle of 4 houses. Access at the back through an alley way 2 doors down.

I’d extend the play room to give you a large downstairs living/ playroom and I’d make the lounge my bedroom.

is the alley public access anytime (a la the ginnel in coronation street) or do you have to go through a neighbours gate to get to it? My partners house is v similar and you can’t get round the back without going though their gate and garden.

the neighbours gate and garden*.

if you can access the back alley anytime, I still think the best thing to do is have your son sleep in the playroom. If anyone urgently needs the back garden it’s not too difficult to go out the front and walk down the alley.

Living room make into your bedroom.
Play room small lounge.

What an unfounded & bitchy thing to say!

Water off a ducks behind haha

I don't know any 3 yo's that routinely wake & shout for mummy in the night & she can soon be taught not to. They can get a 2 way monitor if they need to.

How? It’s obvious that a 3 year old being moved bedrooms for the first time is going to naturally be upset and maybe cry in the night. The older child is at school and may end up being woken/struggle to manage at school.

school holidays while the older child may get fed up being woken, they can obviously sleep in if they need to. Some parents still wouldn’t want their child being woken however if OP feels ok about this and that her older child would cope then maybe it’s the way forward and maybe the 3 year old will be settled and sleeping through the night when the older child starts back in September.

Some parents wouldn’t be bothered about sleep disturbance and allow their kids to keep napping during the day for their missed sleep, some would not want it to happen to their kid in the first place and sharing with a toddler would be a flat no.

What part of the proceeds from a 3bedroom will not buy a 4 bedroom are you not understanding?

it doesn't matter what they paid for it. It matters what they could sell it for & buy for that money🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️

It wouldn’t routinely go on but a 3 year old would find it difficult to begin with which is why I suggested doing it in the school holidays. It’s not the 5 year old they’d be sharing with I believe OP said it was an older son who was age ten.

its not going to be long before the son does his SATS and starts secondary and I’m not sure how appropriate it would be a high school aged son sharing with a 4/5 year old in the next couple of years when he turns 11/12.

You could go into the loft and add a dormer to the roof space making it habitual. This would solve your problem

You misunderstand me. If they sold it for market value they’d get 220. Which depending on the area may not get a 4 bedroom. They’d have to save the rest.

She said they can’t do anything with the loft

If the 10 year old boy is happy to share with his 3 year old sister long term (if your house is intended on being a forever home) then fair enough I was only saying a lot of secondary school aged children may struggle with this especially if the room can’t be split due to fire regulations

It is when you're 10 & don't want to sleep downstairs on your own.

How big is the main bedroom? Can it be divided into two spaces, either for two DCs to have their own space or for the parents and the youngest DC?

Otherwise a sofa bed downstairs for the parents.
Why is your oh against this? What does he suggest?

Yes, but they'd already been living there 3 years by then. They bought it off family at a much reduced price. I'm sure if they could have afforded a 4 bedroom they would have bought one.