What would you do in our position?

[Weightloss12]

Hi, we’re a family of 5. Me and my fiancee currently share a room with our almost 3 year old daughter, we bought a 3 bedroom terraced house in January, our son has the box room, and our autistic 5 year old daughter has her own room, we’re thinking ahead to how we could make it work bedroom wise, our loft isn’t an option, and splitting the rooms would mean splitting a window, and unsure if it would be safe fire regs wise. We can’t put our 3 year old in with our 5 year old because she isn’t safe to be left unsupervised. WWYD?

he can always share for now and move doenstairs once he is secondary school age or when he’s doing his sats and needs space. That’s really the only option unless the parents sleep on a sofa bed in the living room or playroom (not sure if a double sofa bed would fit in playroom unfolded judging by drawing).

Playroom becomes living room.

Current living room/front room has partition added and becomes your bedroom.

Kids have a room each upstairs.

Yes, playroom/living room would be small, but would it be manageable?
Or could dining table move to playroom and living area where the current dining area is?

Thankfully for you, wouldn't be for many others!

I didn’t say anything insulting or wrong, you have took what I said in the wrong way.

I think it was the subtle insinuation that I may not care about my son’s sleep, implying I’m a bad mum. That’s how it came off

I'm not engaging with you any further. This isn't your thread.

@Weightloss12

i hope you can come up with a solution that works for you. I think I'd probably just give it another year until your youngest is about to start school then see how your eldest feels about having the playroom converted to his bedroom. It might seem like a 'cool' idea by then!!

it's pretty easy & cheap to put in a stud wall to create a passage way/hallway to the back door.

Ok, well that’s not what I intended, apologies if it came off that way. What’s the reason loft conversion isn’t an option? Is it a listed building or one that doesn’t have a loft?

But you started it??? Weird. I saw your message in my DM’s btw and have reported you

I'm shocked pps are being so derisive of your housing arrangements! Plenty of families (my own childhood included and still plenty of my dcs friends today) live in houses and flats where not every child has their own room. Some people have no choice but to make it work. And that's including families with special needs kids.

Op, I think I'd consider if your bedroom can be used in this rejig. Even temporarily. My dh and I gave up our bedroom so 2 of our dcs could sleep in there. We get a much smaller room but also slept better because the dcs were happier. I've also got an autistic daughter so I do understand how things revolve around them, especially when it comes to change. It's not always completely unsurmountable but I understand in your case it might be.

Oh dear, HMRC will be all over this! This is not allowed.

Well it is, we did it all legally had a solicitor, brought through probate, had it valued then his dad and uncles agreed the sale price, I’m 100% sure the mortgage wouldn’t have been allowed to go though if it wasn’t legal

I think they mean because it could be seen as dodging inheritance tax.

You can legally buy it this way, yes, however, there are tax implications, so hopefully you've had professional tax advice. If not, HMRC will review this. I should have been clearer in my original comment - apologies.

ETA your mortgage provider isn't responsible for you paying appropriate taxes, so they wouldn't stop it for this reason. Did you get professional tax advice?

All the posters asking "WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST BUY A SIX BEDROOM HOUSE WITH A UTILITIES ROOM AND A BIGGER GARDEN?!" ... can I borrow a fiver?

😂😂😂

How old is your DS? Could he and other DD share the larger of the bedrooms, you and DH take middle sized room and put autistic DD in box room on her own. In a few years time as your DS gets older you could reconsider if autistic DD could share with younger sister or not.

Her son is 10

Oh I see! So there’s no door between dining room and playroom/ it’s open plan?

It’s possible but my son loves his room, I would feel too guilty moving him out, I think the more likely scenario is that me and oh will sleep downstairs but I’m in no rush, my daughter is fine with us for a bit longer

Yeah we could put a door on it and put a wall up but currently there isn’t

Can you convert playroom to family room?
Then split lounge/ sitting room into bedroom for yourself & snug. This way you have unlimited access to the garden and are a bit closer to the DC upstairs.

Do you have to go via the living room into the kitchen? I think the most straightforward solution would be if it is feasible to put up a stud partition wall to create a corridor. You could then move your living room into the rear playroom, and move 10 year old downstairs, with you sleeping upstairs to be close enough to the 2 younger children

This is the only picture I have that shows the layout, it could probably fit a double bed but that would be it

Yes that’s the problem, although it’s not a huge space, the playroom is a fair way from the bedrooms, I wouldn’t hear them being sick or crying for me in the night, that’s the worry

This is a good idea. Sofa bed in the current playroom until you can afford to do this.

And as PPs say, you really do need to educate yourself about mortgages. How do you know what your short, medium and long term options are if you don’t know what your finances look like?