No more two tier weddings solution

[Pingiop]

MN stirs up a wide variety of opinions when it comes to weddings. Recent thread was a poster saying they weren’t going to attend evening invites anymore as they viewed it as a diss.

Not all people invited will be close to the couple and not everyone will invited to the day and night celebrations. People on these threads have suggested that the couple only have the wedding they can afford. Not to have the nice fancy dream wedding they have saved years for but to downgrade the venue so that this D list acquaintances can attend.

So in the solution of only having the wedding you can afford, it can be proposed that all couples only invite their chosen guests to both day and night celebrations, this will of course mean most people who aren’t regarded as close friends and family, so D list acquaintances, will never attend a wedding again unless the couple are rich and can afford to invite everyone. Is this a sensible solution to unreasonable entitled behaviour?

It's none of my business who shags who as long as it's legal and it's not my boyfriend.
What's this got to do with anything anyway?

I guess some people just lack moral judgment then especially if they think it’s okay for a random person to just turn up uninvited to a wedding but think the couple getting married are “nasty” for not wanting them there. We called that unhinged. I would definitely be checking the mental capacity of those that think this.

To be strictly fair, you would also have to check the mental capacity of those that don’t.

It could get awkward.

I am a fan of supporting people to have the wedding they want. Have a two tier one if you want, don’t if you don’t. Have a destination wedding, or don’t, etc. People can attend, or not, as they see fit, and the B&G just need to accept that. I don’t attend evening weddings myself, no, too much hassle when they clearly don’t really care if you attend or not. I eloped rather than have a traditional wedding so thankfully didn’t get into this nonsense.

This is completely my experience in my 50s from northern working class town. I’ve attended many evening events and many all day weddings.

I would never be upset by an evening invitation. Unless perhaps it was one of my own children

This was our situation, lots of friends from work on both sides and life long friends who didn't want to really come to the registry office ceremony anyway as we had that part in a separate town which has good photo opportunities as next to a castle and the rest we had hired a place pretty much on a beach, in the City we lived in. Many friends and work mates just liked the idea of the beach party as we then went on to the city for further partying before the hotel. Obviously, I am not 100% sure but I don't think the younger crowd I e non relatives were that bothered! Two tier worked for us!

I think they are weird. I only want people l know and care about at my wedding. While my parents did invite people I barely knew, they knew them well and they were hosting the wedding (my DH paid two thirds, my parents one third, and we did half DH, half me and my parents as there was a lot of overlap). No kids (that would have taken up 20 spots and totally changed the vibe - it was a black tie event). No plus ones (spouses and committed partners yes).
I didn’t get married in a church, but I understand churches are ‘anyone’s welcome’ like for a funeral example. If one did, by accident or design, one hopes they would be respectful of the place and occasion.

I also think family size plays a big part in how normal evening invitations are.

FIL and MIL were one of 15 and one of 9. Big families, close families, but an obscene amount of nieces/nephews and cousins.

It's pretty much standard in both families for the "adults" (PIL generation) to be invited all day and then "the kids" (which amuses me as DH's eldest cousin is nearly 60 and has a great grandchild, but is still classed as the kids generation by MIL and her siblings 😂) to be invited at night for the party bit.

I've been to a variety of weddings over the years, the most recent of which was a friend of DD's who she'd known since primary school. DD and her DP were invited to the entire thing, church, afternoon reception and the evening. DH and I were surprised and delighted to receive an evening invitation, which we hadn't expected at all.

Couples can invite whoever they want to their wedding, and if people get miffed that they are only invited to the evening reception and think that means they are only second-class guests, they need to get a bloody grip.

I went to plenty of weddings with evening parties in the 80s! Generally filled with old school friends that nobody had seen since the leavers disco 🤣 or friends of the bride & groom's parents who generally paid for the whole do, and nobody was offended by that invitation, it was a good chance to catch up with everyone.

Ah you don’t know the half of it. One deluded poster said I was a nasty mean person just because I said I would order some random person out who was not invited to my own wedding… imagine being that entitled that you think the couple should allow random people at their own wedding ceremony. Then another delulu said I have no right to stop uninvited guest at my wedding because it’s the law… 😆

Then another delulu said I have no right to stop uninvited guest at my wedding because it’s the law…

That is actually true though.

Mostly a celebrant would speak to a random guest if they were pointed out, but you actually do have to allow people access in case they want to object.

A hotel locally had a mare for a while when an ex employee kept turning up and sitting at the back of weddings. Obviously couples weren't particularly happy about a random guest (especially if they had max numbers already and it made chairs a squeeze), but folks do have to be able to attend to object.

You are a fucking idiot to just turn up uninvited. Clearly they haven’t been invited and are not wanted there and are clearly unstable. I’m actually embarrassed for anyone who would do this. Talk about main character energy. This is so sad. Bless their crazy heart. It’s giving Glenn Close Fatal Attraction Vibes. Wasn’t the ex employee not ashamed for spoiling the wedding ceremony?

I'm old. I know ALL of it. 😂

🤣🤭

Evening invites for work colleagues, more local friends has always been the norm as far as I can remember.

Then another delulu said I have no right to stop uninvited guest at my wedding because it’s the law… 😆

You don’t. It is. You stomping around, shouting and screaming like a two year old isn’t going to change that.

I was coming on to say this, and it isn't a new thing either.

The above has happened to me too.

I was at a lovely wedding this year. There were approx fifty to sixty people there. Amazing meal, beautiful location. All was wonderful until
the music started and because it wasnt a big wedding and due to some of the guests being elderly, very few people danced. While the bride and groom obviously wanted music and for the wedding to continue late into the night, it really made the evening feel flat.

An evening invitation is just to make up the numbers. It’s hard to have a party with aunts and grand aunts who won’t dance and want tea instead of alcohol,

People can choose to go. Personally I don’t.
I heard of somebody recently who charged people for attending the evening event. The mind boggles.

You are a fucking idiot to just turn up uninvited. Clearly they haven’t been invited and are not wanted there and are clearly unstable. I’m actually embarrassed for anyone who would do this. Talk about main character energy. This is so sad. Bless their crazy heart. It’s giving Glenn Close Fatal Attraction Vibes. Wasn’t the ex employee not ashamed for spoiling the wedding ceremony?

I've no idea about the feelings of the ex employee, don't even know who they were.

I only know of it because the local Facebook page was a constant stream of "just ban him" or "just lock him out" and the extremely patient local registrar explaining that, unfortunately, venues cannot lock doors/only admit invited guests because of the law allowing people the opportunity to object. Weddings have to be open to the public by law.

It’s actually quite sad that he did this. Perhaps a falling out with the old boss and he’s misdirecting his anger at the wrong/innocent people. Wonder if he had mental problems?

It’s actually quite sad that he did this. Perhaps a falling out with the old boss and he’s misdirecting his anger at the wrong/innocent people. Wonder if he had mental problems?

Local rumour, and it is rumour so no idea if it's true or not (though the hotel has never commented that it's wrong), is that a random person attended a wedding. The couple complained about it after and the hotel sacked him as he was in charge on the day, then gave him a shitty/inaccurate reference when he was simply following the law.

It went on for months and then just stopped so I assume they came to some sort of agreement.

You’re the ones that’s almost frothing at the mouth waiting to share this information with everyone. Very odd you’re so defensive about it. You could have shared this information and laughed about the person who would do such a thing but haven’t which makes me think you are one of them people that do this.

That poster isn't frothing in the least. You're the one who has called more than one poster crazy just for stating what the law is and that you wouldn't be able to kick someone out. That's just a fact and you've come back saying it's "delulu" to believe that the law is the law.

Me too, all of this.