No more two tier weddings solution

[Pingiop]

MN stirs up a wide variety of opinions when it comes to weddings. Recent thread was a poster saying they weren’t going to attend evening invites anymore as they viewed it as a diss.

Not all people invited will be close to the couple and not everyone will invited to the day and night celebrations. People on these threads have suggested that the couple only have the wedding they can afford. Not to have the nice fancy dream wedding they have saved years for but to downgrade the venue so that this D list acquaintances can attend.

So in the solution of only having the wedding you can afford, it can be proposed that all couples only invite their chosen guests to both day and night celebrations, this will of course mean most people who aren’t regarded as close friends and family, so D list acquaintances, will never attend a wedding again unless the couple are rich and can afford to invite everyone. Is this a sensible solution to unreasonable entitled behaviour?

That's still not what anyone has done. You seem unable to separate the social from the legal unlile other posters. You've gone on a really weird tangent here.

A few people have said it is legal. Nobody has said it is generally a socially acceptable or expected way to behave. Nor has anyone said that people like the ex-employee of the hotel was behaving in a rational manner.

It doesn’t make anyone a miserable cunt as you so charmingly put it (although I suspect that might be deleted anyway) or frothing. Just calmly acknowledging what you apparently cannot calmly acknowledge.

Op, are you ok? You’ve become wildly aggressive and defensive about a very unimportant topic.

The only person lacking understanding here is you

OP I think you have bigger issues than someone moaning about only being invited to an evening do at you wedding. Or maybe your friends and family ( groom?) are the ones with the problems if they have to deal with you IRL!

🤣🤣 I don’t think you’ll need to worry about people wanting to see you get married because they like you if this is indicative of how you talk to people in real life 🤣

Suits me. We had a daytime wedding, all over by 6pm. Went out for a curry after.

I have been to a couple of evening dos with DH’s group and hated them. We arrived with some other couples and felt like spare parts. There was no seating for us. All of the ‘main’ guests were still sitting at their dinner places already a bit merry. It was an expensive hotel cash bar so we stayed for one drink and left. Complete waste of taxi money.

One couple stayed and apparently there were a few sausage rolls and vol au vents later - pounced on by the day guests but it didn’t improve.

It’s worth remembering sometimes evening guests are invited to create atmosphere. Which works if they are up for a night out and see it as that.

My ex friend booked a venue she couldn’t afford. Then invited very few to the day bit (because if she invited one person from our friendship group she would have to invite us all). Let her parents invite lots of people important to them (they were paying) but we’re all much older.
So when we turned up for the night do we were meant to be ‘the party’ except we weren’t in the mood. It was miles from anywhere so we had all driven, the bar was astronomical, tiny buffet, and B&G just ignored us.
Bride complained to a mutual friend that she thought we would start the dancing off and we had ruined the night. In fact the dance floor remained empty apart from first dance.

It surely comes back to the fact that weddings used to be local. Folk from work would be happy to come along as a cheap night out. I’m still really happy to come along under those circumstances.

Now weddings are often not local, it no longer makes any sense to have evening invites.

I’ve seen people on here upset about it when it indicates they’re not such good friends with the couple as they thought and/or others they thought they were at the same level of friendship are invited for the day and they’re not.

That’s not entitled it’s just human.

I would never put guests through that - all the favoured dinner guests sitting around while those who didn’t make the cut pitch up and stand around awkwardly. Asking them to pay for their own drinks is just the icing on the cake.

That is badly organised timing and not a normal experience of being an evening guest. It's usually already into the dinner cleared away, dancing starting and bar open (yes, paid bar, another thing I have zero issue with as a guest) part of the day. No awkward standing around waiting to be admitted.

(yes, paid bar, another thing I have zero issue with as a guest)

Nor do I if prices are reasonable. My husband still hasn’t got over being asked to pay over triple the normal price for drinks at one (hotel) wedding we went to.

We decided then that we would have a free bar as we didn’t want to risk the price of drinks being the main topic of conversation amongst guests at our own wedding.

I went to a wedding with a paid bar (not expensive) and the B&G stood and met all the evening guests with a drink. It was a very nice thing to do and I don’t know why people don’t do it more.