Popular things you wouldn't even do for free... (Glastonbury for me)

[BringYourOwnBullshit]

Me? Glastonbury. There isn't enough vodka in Russia to get me there. Too many people, too much noise, hay fever, having to piss and shit (both of which I need to do a lot) in shared portaloos probably with no bog roll, not having a proper shower or proper anything wash wise, feeling sticky and unclean, not having a real bed to sleep in. The list goes on and on and on. If someone offered me £50,000 to go from the very beginning to the very end I'd probably consider it but even then I doubt I'd bite. If I did I'd probably die of misery by day two anyway. Utter, utter misery.

What's yours?

I’ve never been but I have truly no desire to go. It just seems horrible.

But I didn’t grow up watching Disney movies (or any films…) and truly don’t understand the whole fuss about Disney anyway…

Long - and especially pointy - nails! I’d probably stab myself in the eye. And I truly wouldn’t want to attempt to go to the loo (wiping seems dangerous and potentially messy)…

A date with Jamie Oliver. I’m sure he’s perfectly pleasant, but he just looks quite ‘spitty’ if you know what I mean.

Also, I wouldn’t go to an Ed Sheeran gig. He’s a perfectly lovely chap but he’s really only got 3 decent songs (and one of those was basically ripped off Bronski Beat) but the rest is just like a field of mashed potato with no butter or salt.

good one! Yes, anything that involves jumping from cliffs, helicopters, bridges etc. is a firm no from me.

climbing as well. I am incredibly afraid of heights and falling/jumping. I can just about manage to enter a gondola or a skilift…

I have no desire to cruise but I can see how it appeals to people. I love a resort where I do f-all apart from the occasional trip to a nearby historic site or a market.

I think cruises are like that only the ship takes you to the historic site or market rather than having to endure a long car journey.

in between you can lie about doing-all, swimming, sunning and having massages.

so I do get it. But it’s something about being in a ship that freaks me. Like norovirus or sea sickness might happen.

I agree with nearly everyone, I have no desire for the following even if you paid me
Big festivals
Disney
A cruise
Dubai
Scuba Diving
A facial
Alton towers/fairgrounds/rollercoasters

but I do like pop concerts, camping, and I've done the London marathon 4 times and I want to do it again 😆

Glastonbury
Theme parks
Skiing (tried it once, x-country not too bad but downhill was terrifying)
Live in London (or most cities)
Long fake nails
Own a brachycephalic dog (poor sods struggle to breathe)
Stiletto heels (would fall off and damage myself)

All of the above. And I'm loving the vivid eloquence of disdain on this thread... getting strong 'disgruntled introvert' energy, and I am here for it...

Also: Bingo, Trago Mills.

Camping - no matter where.
When we went to Jordan a few years ago, it was difficult to find a holiday that did not include a night in a tent in Wadi Rum.

Tents are all mod cons, en-suite etc, but still a tent.
But our tour guide offered us the option of it, & was puzzled by my reaction.

You know there are showers and sinks at Glastonbury?

Notting Hill Carnival for me

Pot holing

But they're communal (clutches pearls). 😧

The music festivals I go to have (nowadays) very clean long drop toilets (no smell) and great showering facilities. But I love camping (again there are usually great facilities at most sites).

I went to the Silverstone f1 when I was a kid. It was too loud, too hot and I couldn't see anything.
I sat under the stand with my walkman and a book.

Stand in direct sunlight on a warm day.

I am very pale skinned, overweight and ridiculously prone to both heat stroke and sunburn.
If I go out in the sun I can literally feel it damaging me after a few minutes.
Very strange to be walking around in an objectively hostile environment (for me) listening to everyone else talking about how nice it is.

Is going on a date with Jamie Oliver a popular thing to do

Going on packed beach holiday to a resort. I know lots of people do that - but the idea of sitting on a beach or by a pool everyday does not appeal to me. Much prefer camping......in a warm country, with a decent pool, barbecues and a European Campsite.

Sit in a pub garden in the boiling heat at midday drinking alcohol. How do people do it? I'd vomit and then pass out.

Yes, @EdithStourton , brachycephalic dogs... especially when they're being carried around the park like an ikkle baybee, when they're clearly yearning to run and sniff and pee and explore like a real dog that's going to live past five years old... 😢

Dubai- Have friends that have been every year for the last 10 years but when home bang on about women's rights... Erm OK then
Festivals- portaloos gross me right out
Cruises- I honestly think I'd get bored

Literature festivals.
Political conferences.
Happy clappy evangelical churches.

I watch videos of theme parks on YouTube - it’s just something I find interesting. Recently Epic Universe opened at Universal Studios and more than one person said of the ride Stardust Racers that it was SO GOOD because you repeatedly felt like you were coming out of your seat mid-ride. I honestly can’t think of anything worse I think I would blackout in fear or die of a heart attack or something

I’d have to be paid to be outside at midnight on NYE in Edinburgh. 🥶

I’d have to be paid even more to wear scrunch bum leggings.

Oh and swimming with captive dolphins.

Go to Dubai or Disneyland or a hen do!

a poetry slam

oh and when I was 19 a school friend got married and her mum organised the hen which included a chippendales show. Being hit by drops of baby oil from flailing wangs was bad enough, but the behaviour of the audience is genuinely the most horrific thing I have ever experienced. I reckon I’d need at least 100k to go again!