DD17 has been inappropriately touched by a customer whilst at work.

[Normansglasseye]

DD17 works at the weekend at a well known store.

We are currently on our way to pick her up as she's just rung me very distressed. She was serving on a till and an autistic young man around the same as DD has grabbed one of her breasts. She is absolutely distraught. The carer/parent has apologised.

I've never been in a situation like this.

I'm so upset for DD.

Of course you are. But by the same token I’m allowed to point out that unless the person who assaulted you was disabled it’s out of context to the discussion. Your reply was to someone who implied that disability was being used as an excuse for men to assault women. I’m simply presenting another point of view - if that disability includes impaired capacity then that’s not the case.

This is so passive aggressive, calling someone stupid then putting a laughing emoji.

It’s not stupid to have a different (valid) opinion to you.

edited : the post I was quoting calling stupid has been removed!

It's awful and as your DD wasn't wearing a name tag it smacks of a lie to get away with shit care
I would go with your DD but explain whilst she may feel she doesn't want to drag it out with Police, every time the carer and the male involved do this someone else becomes a victim. The carer may be exhausted and need help and it's incredibly difficult to come by due to cuts. This could be the push they would need to be considered for extra help.

I run a pub and I've had the most disgusting things said to me, despite my being mid 40s, and nothing special looks wise. I wont tolerate it and I have embarrassed males for saying things to me or yo female customers. In my last pub when I was managing for someone else, we had a 17 year old working with me behind the bar and she was beautiful, and sometimes men tried to chat her up. That's when I would make a comment about her age. Most would slink off but one didn't. He wouldn't take the hint so he was escorted out the pub by two regulars. We then made sure her dad was collecting her.

Sadly, woman whatever age and wherever they are aren't safe. It seems to be getting worse as time goes on. It's so imperative that any assaults are reported to the police.

Get the CCTV and report him. Should t be going out even with a carer if at 17 he can’t not sexually assault females. I bet it’s not the first time or last time either.

Her work environment is a red herring. He’s the perpetrator.

Saying someone is autistic is not a licence for him to do what he bloody wants.

Tell me you know nothing about autism without telling me………………..

Glad to hear he is banned from the store. Her employer is placing the safety of the employees first and foremost.

Glad he's banned. No one deserves to be assaulted ever, no matter what the "justification".

In the mid 1980’s I was 17 and doing work experience in an old people’s home. A male resident called me over and as I bent over to talk to him he stuck his hand up my skirt. Nothing was done about it as he was old and always did it!

I’d have done the same back to him, and then some more. Clearly shouldn’t be let out to assault babies.

But in the OPs example, him being escorted didn’t actually prevent the assault.

I’m more concerned with the protection of females from being sexually assault tbh.

I am speechless at your response .
Are you saying that a female should only feel distraught in the event of sexual assault when the assailant is neurotypical but if neurodiverse get over it it's harmless ?
This girl is 17, fgs have some empathy but 17 or 47 this shouldn't have happened obviously.

This.

My school had an 11 yr old autistic pupil who kept hugging girls and women. Our staff worked with his carers to help him understand that you can't do that.

The Learning Support Teacher who worked with the pupil called together the senior girls who had happily being allowing his hugs - he was, after all, just a cute little boy - and explained that the goal was to stop him from getting himself into trouble in the future.

With everyone working together, the problem was solved.

This is a real possibility. When I was of primary school age, an autistic teenage girl from an another block of flats was allowed by her parents to run about without supervision. She chased after young children - quite possibly just wanting to play - but when you're only about 7, it's frightening to have an apparently adult woman chasing, yelling at you and then hitting you.

It only ended when a 12 yr old girl jumped up and slapped the teenager's face. The poor soul ran off crying, but we never saw her again.

I can't say too much because it's outing.

Many years ago, I reported concerns about someone with what we used to call "learning difficulties of a global nature".

I was mocked. After his second serious crime, he was locked up in a hospital for the criminally insane.

In the case that I mentioned above, it was decided that the person concerned was incapable of understanding the impact of his actions on others. That's why he was locked up indefinitely after the second crime.

While this young man may not have the capacity to understand that what he has done is inappropriate and distressing for the other person, it doesn't diminish the fact it is inappropriate and distressing, and that's the issue here.
Being banned from the shop is the bare minimum that is needed to protect OPs DD and other staff, and needing to be more closely supervised and prevented from behaving in this way in other places is needed, it's not about punishing the person or if they would understand that, it's about preventing it happening.
It's really not acceptable to just dismiss this away because the man is autistic/has learning disabilities, it's still just as unacceptable as if he didn't - but the responsibility shifts from him onto the person who is supposed to be looking after him. The main problem there is that carers, both paid and unpaid, are stretched beyond their limits through lack of funds, and stuff like this is going to be commonplace because there simply isn't enough care to go around.
But that doesn't mean we should put up and shut up.

An 11 year old "cute little boy" hugging vs. a man grabbing a girl's breast...

Your DD must report it. The police regularly deal with assaults made by autistic young people. He may or may not have capacity and this will affect how they deal with things. Either way it needs to be formally logged so that his risk assessment can be added to and strategies implemented or staffing ratios changed. If his carer is unable to manage his behaviour to ensure he is safe around women, then steps need to be taken.

It's so very obvious the majority here have no clue about some autisms and the lack of control or prediction. I work with disabled young people and some will grab anything then other days nothing. 2 are fascinated by shiny necklaces and won't be the first of many many times I've apologised to staff member and they've just laughed. Sorry this happened but in no way make out it was a deliberate act and especially the fact he had carers and in no way would they have deliberately picked our your daughter's till either. Some of your are making out these poor people should be under lock and key but I bet you wouldn't be saying it if this was your son or daughter with any form of autism, adhd etc

Oh and sexual assault is a deliberate sexual act not a case of him leaning over knocking a boob looking for her name badge as most staff wear and there is a good probability he was wondering where it was if he was into them as stated by one of his carers

Best not to make assumptions that he didn't know what he was doing and report this. If he needs more supervision (at a higher cost) it's better all of his inappropriate behaviour is recognised and recorded.

Grabbing a breast is just that. If he is at risk of sexual assaulting women who work in shops, then he needs to be kept away from shops.

I also work with autistic teens, many of whom are amazing young people and yes many have capacity and yes some choose to intentionally touch females sexually, while others might touch accidentally totally unaware. The carers will likely know whether the motive is sexual or not. Either way, it’s not something you’re DD should have to endure and it’s important the incident is formally logged so that preventative strategies can be added to the boys risk assessment. Police involvement can be helpful in some situations.

Then you should also be interested in much of the discussion in the thread around the funding and support available to disabled people in the community - it’s central to that in this context. No-one is saying disability is a licence to assault women, or indeed any other crime, but the care system is on it’s knees and families are being left to cope without adequate support as a result. And the very fact that this incident happened is a testament to that.