What things are considered trashy if you’re poor but not if you’re wealthy?

[mummysmagicmedicine]

As someone who has been both, I am intrigued to hear what people think!

Dressing scruffy. Poor old bloke in stained t shirt and old trackies = dodgy/rough/a bit gross. Rich old bloke wearing the same = eccentric/hipster (maybe if younger!)/vintage/“refreshing” that he’s soooo unmaterialistic 🙄

Fancy European hotels often have cava or champagne available at breakfast - it’s seen at worst as decadent to have a glass. Where as someone in Wetherspoons having a pint with their full English would be hauled over the mumsnet coals!

im assuming the person suggestion enotuonal neglect was thinking Nannie’s or boarding schools

Being an alcoholic wife beater with a dodgy 'tache, a gambling addiction, having huge amounts of debt, swindling all your chums in racketeering schemes, cudgeling your baby-sitter to death in a fit of drug fuelled rage and escaping to who knows where to further indulge in your dubious sexual tastes. Or be dead. Or not dead.

Guess who?

@Redheadedstepchild Lord Lucan!

I would also add mental illness to the list. It’s cool in some upper class circles to have bipolar but you distance yourself from the man shouting at pigeons in the park as he is clearly ‘mad’.

But because they pay less tax you have to pay more to make up the shortfall. So you are contributing both to someone on benefits and the posho with the expensive accountant.

Yay! In one!

I didn’t care about him being an unkempt shagger. I cared about hm being lazy, disingenuous, not on top of his brief, getting an epically shit Brexit deal, embarrassing on the world stage, proroguing parliament to stifle legitimate debate, not giving a shit about old people during COVID. He shouldn’t have been allowed within a million miles of Number 10. He was only there because people enjoyed his posh duffer persona on HIGNFY. Never in a million years would he have got away with it if he’d been the son of a coal minor from Hull.

British people have a really weird deference towards people they see as ‘posh’. There’s a real ‘know your place’ mentality in the UK that you don’t see so much of anywhere else. I guess that’s why we still have a monarchy.

Keeping horses in your garden

Horse racing

Living your children alone in an apartment whilst you go out for tapas with friends....................

Isn't that considered the same, irrespective of parentage?

Judged more harshly?? (or less?)

Being a tourist.
All inclusive holidays.
Lots of things about travelling and holidays really.

That's probably more in Mumsnet world than elsewhere, maybe

Being a single mum
Getting a divorce
Being a sahm
Quitting your job to improve your education

Not working. Someone else bringing up your kids for you.

@PrawnAgain I never understand this argument. If someone hands you £20 for doing nothing and you go and spend it, it doesn't benefit the person that gave it to you because you paid £2 in VAT. The person is still £20 down and now realises they have to give you £20 pw indefinitely, the £2 might go back In the pot but you are still down £18 pw regardless. People on benefits take from the system, there is no way of looking at it that I can fathom them being financial contributors.

The thing about drinks at breakfast is so true - I think nothing of ordering a Bloody Mary (or a Red Snapper) with brunch on a Saturday but DH hates tomatoes so often orders a vodka & coke (because that's what he likes). Same amount of units per drink but one of us is white, blonde, had elocution lessons growing up etc and the other is working class from a London council estate (oh, and black).

Nobody blinks at my BM but they always double check they heard his order right...

Big TVs

Drugs and alcohol the main ones! Also, as pp said, having lots of lovers/affairs

This.

If they had been from a council estate in Bradford it would have been a totally different reaction than middle class doctors from a nice village in Leicestershire

Good point, I was on benefits for a while, it's not a good feeling. My boss called me an absolute scrounger. His parents were giving him £1200 allowance every month. He was 43 🙄.

A dirty house.
Multiple marriages & dc with different mothers/fathers.

Swearing