What things are considered trashy if you’re poor but not if you’re wealthy?

[mummysmagicmedicine]

As someone who has been both, I am intrigued to hear what people think!

Received pronunciation.

@Floogal RP is Received Pronunciation, an accent like old BBC English.

My sons both went off to uni with RP and came back glottal stopping all over the place.

I think they made a conscious effort to de-posh themselves.

Yes that goes on. The RP kids all affect an innit accent & swagger. Never mention their music grades,post code or private school

Love this thread, so many accurate observations!!

I live near York. I've noticed in recent years that it appears to be seen as MC to have DC that look like they've been dragged through a hedge backwards The way I've seen some DC look whilst out and about in the city look so unkempt that if it wasn't a clearly wealthy parent, there'd be questions asked.
I was recently in an expensive shop at the till. The DC looked like they didn't own a hairbrush, their clothes were scruffy, dirty and they were wearing odd shoes. DM was spending several hundred pounds on one item.

Sponging off people as we've seen in that Salt Path memoir now being investigated is so cool if you're middle class.

I read the biography of some toff, I think to do with the Guinness family, who described being massively neglected and her and her brothers having to scrounge food off the local tenant farmers on the estate.

That's sad. Childhood neglect and need is definitely sometimes missed in the children of middle class or wealthier families by adults who would have spotted it easily in poorer children. Neglect isn't about lack of money in the family - it's lack of parental care or ability - but people are blinded by their expectations.

I suppose it's because it's hard to understand how someone can be capable in one area of their life (decent job, ie able to care for themselves sufficiently to hold that job down - as well as actually do the job) but for whatever reason are not able to do something else that feels more natural and obvious to most people (parenting).

It's easier to understand people who are low ability at everything: jobs, personal relationships, general life skills and parenting.

It's almost seen as more of a character flaw to fail only at parenting than it is to fail at all parts of life. As though the person who can't manage any part of their life can't help it - whereas someone who can manage one part must be able to pull the same trick for parenting too. Even though the root causes are probably pretty similar.