He’s hit me and I don’t know what to do

[ThinkINeedHelp]

I’m crying and I probably won’t make much sense but please try to help me see straight.
Had an awful evening. I know it started as my fault. I was cross as trying to house train two puppies but it’s been a bad day with them today. I was a bit annoyed and swore. I didn’t swear at anyone, it was a case of oh ffs, this is getting ridiculous.

He was angry with me and we argued. It’s eventually ended up with him grabbing my wrists, shoving me against the bedroom wall and then hitting me in the face. My nose hurts, so does my shoulder.

I’m now going to be homeless. I’ve no family, no friends anymore, don’t work and I live in his house. I’m so utterly pathetic.i can’t drive as I’ve had two glasses of wine but come tomorrow I’ll have to leave.
I’ve allowed myself to end up in this position , I’m in my late 50’s and I can’t believe I’ve been so bloody stupid.

You are absolutely amazing and being so brave, let us know when you are safe. Proud of you stranger!

OP, block his number on your phone once you leave, then he can't torment you with phone calls and nasty texts.

Best of luck OP. Let us know you’re safe.

He will cancel your phone the minute you leave, any bank accounts you share.

Make sure you have vital phone numbers written down.

Best of luck OP

You don't need to be homeless if you go via police you can get an occupation order so that you stay in the house and he's not allowed in it.

I really really regret not calling police when my ex punched my wall as I now have no evidence it happened

Are you friendly with any of your neighbours? Would one of them accompany you in your house to get your things?

You know, lots of people would be only too happy to help, you just need to reach out.

I bet a lot of people in that village know he’s a wanker. You’d be surprised a lot of people aren’t sold on the happy business owner persona.
Save yourself. Sod shame.
You have some savings just get out of there with your passport and basics anything else you can buy.
He is dangerous and you need to be safe.
He sounds fucking deranged as well.

Next door neighbours are quite an odd couple and mid 70’s. The next ones down are on holiday, across the road there are another elderly couple, one recently widowed and a younger couple who moved in at Easter.
He is on the phone to his son in law now, I’ve actually managed to book a hotel room for two nights! Roll on shower time. I’m knackered, I’d a couple of hours sleep and only eaten some toast. I just want a hot bath, and some proper sleep. Not sure if I’ll get much in a hotel but at least I won’t be here.

No, it’s not. Don’t say stupid things when the circumstances are so serious. It’s not a film.

It's his home and the OP has no legal right to stay

I’m so pleased you’re getting away. Have you been able to ring the Council yet? I guess that’s something you could do more calmly from the safety of a hotel room though.

Well done for booking the room. He can't access your emails can he? Keep going, you're doing amazingly.

Well done you for staying strong and calm today.
Follow through with your plan.
This is the start of better things for you

Massive well done for booking the hotel!
You have been so brave
Even if you don't sleep, you can have a nice shower and rest., in peace and quiet
Rooting for you OP

And sorry I think I should give some clarity. When I said it might help to imagine you're in a play or a film, I only meant this might help you to disassociate for long enough to physically leave. This situation is utterly awful and I didn't mean to minimise it in any way - just trying to help you have the strength to get out safely. Hope that clarifys my previous post a bit x

@knowifIcando i don’t think @CremeEggThief meant any harm. I’d considered sleeping in my car at the nearest motorway service station tbh, and I’m not that keen on driving. Pretty stupid idea I know but it’s better than this.
He’s been telling me how I’m such an embarrassment for screaming, that it’s a total overreaction and how all the neighbours will think I’m appallingly common

In your shoes I would call the police and report it. Tell them truthfully that you are afraid you will come to harm, that he has been physically and verbally abusive and you would appreciate their support so you can pack your things to leave safely. Screw him.

@dandelion246 its ok thanks, I understand what you mean.

Your screaming is really not the problem here. He's delusional, violent and deeply deeply unpleasant.

Enjoy your hotel, have a relaxing bath, order a deliveroo of your favourite dinner and watch something gentle on tv.

But do report him.

He’s been thinking about the neighbours a lot. When he says these things, he’s trying to convince you, and himself.

I think his reputation is very important to him.

I know you’ve said you have no friends or family, you’ve lost touch over the years, but please do get in touch with anyone you feel safe with even if you’ve not spoken in a long time or you’re not that close.

If an old friend or even just a work colleague contacted me out of the blue and asked for help figuring out how to leave an abusive relationship, I would absolutely try to help them. If you can think of anyone in real life who you’d feel safe talking to, this is the time to call them. It’s okay to ask for help.

I’ve realised how little my stuff matters to me. Some years ago he chucked a load of my clothes out of the front door. Burnt holes in a new top I’d bought.
He threw a fit on my 40th birthday when I was due to go out for a meal with my dad, step mum and step brothers and partners. Obviously he should have gone too but he decided that as I’d not consulted him on the venue he wasn’t going.
He was an absolute twat when I was organising my dad’s funeral. Made the entire conversation with the funeral director about him, oh don’t choose that music as it was his mums favourite, oh don’t have the hearse come from home as he didn’t want to follow it. He then was really vile after the funeral director left. Said I was wanting to be team captain. Erm I was arranging my dad’s funeral, a man who he didn’t like and I was doing it right. I told him he wasn’t going and I stuck to my guns, I went alone.

If you have bruises or marks on you get them photographed. Also report the abuse to police. He needs arresting.

You're doing the right thing in leaving, definietly contact women's aid