What do you do when no one is looking?

[GracieAndPedro]

I dunk a biscuit in my tea and put the whole thing in my mouth in one. Rich tea, easy. Digestive, just doable.

Is there anything you do?

I put big band swing music on, crank up the volume, and do my wildest and most personalised dance moves, in the kitchen, from counter top to countertop, I swing and sway back and forth, dipping and diving, as I prepare the evening meal for my family~

I go on MN 🤣

I came to say exactly this.

Post on Mumsnet. Nobody knows about my little secret…

Dance to Northern soul records but can only manage one as my knees can't stand any more

I watch dull as shit obscure art films from the outer reaches of Film4 and Netflix. They make me feel better about my underachieving life.

I binge watched Dying For Sex, I’d say that counts too.

Same.

I wonder how many posters don't admit to using MN in real life.

Mumsnetting!

Watch horror films whilst eating family size bags of crisps.
Share ribeye steak with the cat, it’s our secret when DH is away.

Scroll mumsnet then deactivate my account and reactivate and the cycle goes on!

As if I would tell you.......

Me.

It's been mentioned once or twice at work over the years and I've always stayed silent lol.

Go up the stairs on all fours. Give myself a pep talk out loud. Make myself 3 mugs of tea and/or coffee at the same time and drink them all!

Add an extra couple of sugars to my tea.
Gallop up the stairs on all fours.

I interview myself, usually about what’s bothering me most at the moment, but sometimes it’s an acceptance speech when I’ve won an award 😆

Rehearse random conversations out loud that will probably never happen.

Post on MN

Pick my nose!

Sing really loudly. Usually abba.

Watch vloggers on YouTube (way too old for that!) and eat disgusting amounts of crisps (too far for that!)

Fart , pick my nose , teeth and ears and scratch my fanny and arse .

Sometimes particularly in winter I eat my dinner in and go to bed at 6pm.

I was alone in the office on a Friday.

I made myself a hot chocolate and just kept piling the powder in because I was hungry for a snack and couldn't be bothered to go out!

Think I had 12 tablespoons, the spoon practically stood up when I stirred it.

Honestly? If he takes the kids for a walk…. Like a rat up a drain pipe, I go and lie in bed and have a wank. It’s my ‘me time’. Afterwards I shower and peruse Vinted for my latest bargain.

Eat Nutella off a spoon

Narrate what I'm doing as if I'm a terribly successful YouTuber making my latest bit of content, which is definitely going to go viral because of all of the invaluable insights and hot takes that I'm sharing 🤷🏼‍♀️