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Original poster

Stop me before I do something I’ll regret - dd15s bitch friends

84 replies

Unconvinced8768 · 07/06/2025 18:41

DDs bunch of fucking bitch friends have met up without her AGAIN which is obviously fine, their choice, yada yada but do they really have to put it all over their fucking insta? And leave me with a heartbroken child? I am so tempted to post on the group WhatsApp I’m on with theses girls mums and say please ask your girls to be just a bit fucking kind and not rub my child’s face in it ps you’re all cunts
But something tells me that might not do her any favours.
Sigh. This is hard. She’s such a lovely girl and high school is destroying her.

OP posts:
mollibu · 07/06/2025 18:46

sounds like an overreaction if they’ve met up without her but I assume there is a big backstory to this hence the name calling?

BirdyBedtime · 07/06/2025 18:47

Posting to offer solidarity and hope your DD is ok. I wrote a really long rant when DDs "friends" bullied her to the point of self harm when she was 14/15. I never posted it anywhere or sent it but it made me feel better.

So maybe writing it all down and keeping it on your phone might help?

I know it's no consolation right now but things will get better. My DD is now 20 and at Uni and while she still struggles a bit with friendships and in particular groups she does have a few good friends mostly made through her part time jobs.

Arewethebadguys · 07/06/2025 18:48

Get her off insta for a start - read, 'The Anxious Generation' and you'll take her phone too. Our children are being destroyed by mobile phone use amplifying friendship issues and using social media as a weapon to inflict suffering.

Original poster
Unconvinced8768 · 07/06/2025 18:51

@BirdyBedtime thank you, yes, that does help and I’m so glad things have settled down for your daughter. It’s just so painful watching them suffer, isn’t it and I get so angry with these thoughtless girls who don’t even care enough to spare her feelings.

OP posts:
Original poster
Unconvinced8768 · 07/06/2025 18:54

Arewethebadguys · 07/06/2025 18:48

Get her off insta for a start - read, 'The Anxious Generation' and you'll take her phone too. Our children are being destroyed by mobile phone use amplifying friendship issues and using social media as a weapon to inflict suffering.

This is SO TRUE
But that horse has bolted unfortunately
fucking smartphones.

OP posts:
feelingbleh · 07/06/2025 18:56

Teenage girls can be vile the only positive is give it a week and they will move on and be being horrible to someone else

JJxxxxx · 07/06/2025 19:03

DON’T DO IT!

As much as you want to and most parents would feel exactly the same! It will just make things worse for your daughter in the long run.

Like PP has said, next week they will all be best buddies again… teenagers are so frustrating 🤣

Bugahug · 07/06/2025 19:04

How old are these girls? Given their maturity it's probably not crossed their minds the ripple affect its having

It's awful isn't it. I think there is something about seeing it on SM that makes it worse. My friends met up and didn't invite me...and see if they mentioned it in passing or catch up i wouldn't bother me. But I saw it on FB it riled me right up. I came off of SM pretty quickly after that.

I'm hold off giving my DD a smartphone as long as possible. I've seen the drama they cause with my neices and it's mind blowing.

Big hugs to.your DD abd hope she finds friends who won't leave her out xx

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 07/06/2025 19:06

JJxxxxx · 07/06/2025 19:03

DON’T DO IT!

As much as you want to and most parents would feel exactly the same! It will just make things worse for your daughter in the long run.

Like PP has said, next week they will all be best buddies again… teenagers are so frustrating 🤣

I think I would harness that energy in supporting her to develop new friendships out of school if she feels able. I am so sorry for her. That left out feeling can be unbearable. And worse at 15

Original poster
Unconvinced8768 · 07/06/2025 19:10

Thank you all, having a little cry because you’re all being so kind.
that’s interesting that they might not even realise it’s not kind…it feels malicious but maybe they just don’t get it.
She has a few friends out of school and a hobby that keeps her going - god knows where she’d be without it - so I guess at least she has that

my heart hurts for her

OP posts:
Endofyear · 07/06/2025 19:15

They're not her friends if they're leaving her out deliberately. I would delete your WhatsApp group with the other mothers because the temptation to message them and say your kids are evil little bitches will be very strong! But ultimately won't help your DD. Encourage her to have a break from social media and make plans with other friends, or do some nice mum & daughter shopping/lunching/beauty treatments together. Hugs for you both, it's horrible to see your children upset 💐

Calmdownpeople · 07/06/2025 19:20

OP seriously take a step back. You are very overinvested and upset about your daughter’s friendship group. her friendship group not yours.

They are teenagers. This is what happens unfortunately. They aren’t her friends and frankly they are teenagers and will over post about everything. No you can’t ask them or their parents to stop rubbing it in your daughter’s face because that isn’t what they are doing - it just feels like that.

Soend your energy on spending time with your daughter, encouraging other friendship groups and doing fun things together.

I get you are frustrated but it is what it is - let it go.

TartanMammy · 07/06/2025 19:20

Have these girls actually done or said anything unkind to your dd?

They've met up and posted photos of their day? What is wrong with that? There must be more to the story.

I'm sorry you dd feel left out, maybe it's time to find new friends.

Lindajonesjustcantlivemylife · 07/06/2025 19:24

Someone else will be ostracised in a few weeks and the others will go along with it because they won't want it to be them.

Comedycook · 07/06/2025 19:26

I understand stuff like this hurts your heart as a mother....but don't say anything to them or their parents. It will make things worse.

Lindajonesjustcantlivemylife · 07/06/2025 19:28

@Comedycook most definitely it would just add to the teen drama.

NameChangedOfc · 07/06/2025 19:29

I'm really sorry she's going through the hellscape of female friendship groups in general adolescence.
I know this is a cliche, but encouraging friendships outside of her school setting is helpful: can she join some sports team or drama club or similar, with kids from other places? (ETA: I just read that she does, that's great!)
It's truly awful being left out, as a teenager girl, and my heart goes out to you, as a concerned mother.
Good luck 💚

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 07/06/2025 19:32

@Unconvinced8768 I have absolutely no practical advice to offer, but as I vividly remember being in the exact same situation as your DD (only without the advent of social media, instead having to endure them discussing it at school on Monday) I would just like to send her, and you a huge hug.

It doesn't feel like it right now but it will even out in the end. I thought my soul would break at the time but I look back now and wish I could tell my teenage self that I was fine and worth so much more than those clique bitchey people.

BeaSure · 07/06/2025 19:36

It’s just so painful watching them suffer, isn’t it and I get so angry with these thoughtless girls

Oh yes, been through all of that crap.

DD moved schools for 6th Form and made lovely friends. She's at uni now with more lovely friends.

Try not to let DD see how much it's affecting you. Vent here instead!

Original poster
Unconvinced8768 · 07/06/2025 19:37

Comedycook · 07/06/2025 19:26

I understand stuff like this hurts your heart as a mother....but don't say anything to them or their parents. It will make things worse.

No, I know, you’re right. Tiger mum rearing up!! But it’d make things worse for her AND make me look unhinged.

OP posts:
Original poster
Unconvinced8768 · 07/06/2025 19:39

@BeaSure I just said to her ‘oh I am sorry that happened, that’s really shitty’ and left it at that. And cooked a nice dinner. She seems ok, just red eyed and a bit quiet.
any tips for what to say/not to say? I’m sorry you went through this but I’m glad to have your experience. My mum’s dead now and it’s times like this I wish I had her to talk to.

OP posts:
dairydebris · 07/06/2025 19:41

Fgs.

The horse hasn't bolted. Get her off social media and get her out with her other friends or reading a book or anything else really other than looking at other people having fun without her.

Its upsetting you this much and its not even happening to you! How's a 15 yo supposed to deal with it?

I feel so, so sorry for young people these days.

Chariots77 · 07/06/2025 19:42

I dont understand the posters who don't understand why this is upsetting for your daughter. It's really painful to be the only one excluded from your circle, at any age. Had this with my DD (also 15) in the past, and it's heartbreaking to watch them upset and not be able to do anything.

I hope things get easier for your daughter, OP. Part of parenting should be to teach kids not to leave others out and exclude people. Hopefully she meets a better group of friends. My DD thankfully did and is in a much better place 💐

LetMeAtom · 07/06/2025 19:43

Don’t do it op, would only make it worse for her
all you can do is try n help her make other friend
encourage hobbies away from school so she has other sources of friendship
time with pets
and time for you n her to do nice things like spa trip, shopping, ice skating whatever
but that’s about all you can really do
she needs to make some nicer friends and focus on that not them

Ionacat · 07/06/2025 19:43

How old are they? There’s the horrible period in girl friendships in year 8 and 9 in particular where things are shaken up and they can be vile to each other. I guess the problem is that this probably isn’t the first time and they’ve probably got a separate what’s app group to arrange it without her. It’s horrible.