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Stop me before I do something I’ll regret - dd15s bitch friends

84 replies

Unconvinced8768 · 07/06/2025 18:41

DDs bunch of fucking bitch friends have met up without her AGAIN which is obviously fine, their choice, yada yada but do they really have to put it all over their fucking insta? And leave me with a heartbroken child? I am so tempted to post on the group WhatsApp I’m on with theses girls mums and say please ask your girls to be just a bit fucking kind and not rub my child’s face in it ps you’re all cunts
But something tells me that might not do her any favours.
Sigh. This is hard. She’s such a lovely girl and high school is destroying her.

OP posts:
Renabrook · 08/06/2025 12:18

So if they are bad how on earth is her mummy getting involved actually going to help her, she needs new friends not you enmeshed in her life

LauraP32 · 08/06/2025 12:36

They aren't her friends. If they were, she'd be invited.

I think you need to start there. You need to tell your DD that they aren't her friends. Maybe they hang out in school, maybe she sits with one or two of them in school but ultimately they just don't view her as a friend and they don't like her or at least 1 or 2 don't like her.

She needs to walk away from them. And that's so so hard for a young girl her age - but honestly, if she did decide to keep it breezy with them, smile, say hi but then take herself off to the library at lunch time, or take on a lunchtime club - just anything where she can say, 'I'm doing x, catch you guys later' and just repeatedly do this - then she'll likely make new friends, and these girls will fall by the way side (and will likely be quite intrigued by her new attitude and treat her better).

Have her distance herself from them on her phone - turn off her blue ticks on whatsapp. And teach her phrases when she gets a message to reply, 'sorry for delay- been out today' and other breezy replies that doesn't initiate a conversation. She just needs to pull away.

The point of doing it- is not so she can 'get in with the crowd' but is for her to distance herself from them.

They aren't her friends OP. She needs to recognise that, and from there start widening her social circle.

Not easy but necessary.

For the next couple of weeks get some cool weekend plans in the dairy - cinema, shopping, or whatever else she's into it.

But she needs to understand and accept that they aren't her friends and now is the time to pull back. Horrible for her because at 15yrs friendship groups in school are usually well formed and it can be hard to break into a new one.

School on Monday she needs to go in with a big smile attitude of 'I don't care, I'm just going to be nice to everyone' and 'I'm going to start up a conversation with someone I don't usually talk to'.

She has to brave it out. Even if that means eating lunch on her own. Again, I get it horrible for her - but if she can meet this with confidence, a smile, and an attitude of 'I'm fine all by myself' and she can show up with a friendly outgoing attitude, her world will change and it will change fast. She just needs to ride out this part.

Slippersandrum · 08/06/2025 12:40

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for privacy reasons.

AnneOfBlueStables · 08/06/2025 16:42

how is your dd today @Unconvinced8768 ?

Unconvinced8768 · 08/06/2025 17:51

Thank you all for your replies, for the solidarity and for the food for thought too.
DD has been ok today, she cried a bit this morning but then calmed down. She’s very diligent and has been revising all day for mocks and doing her ‘Sunday reset’ which involves changing her bedsheets, making her room nice and having a very very long shower. So although sad and hurting, she is channelling it well.
I said to her that I’d been talking to some friends and that the general consensus is that it’s not unusual at this age and it will get better. I used a couple of examples about some of your older dds. I didn’t want to say that they’re not her friends (even though they are NOT) as that felt a bit like kicking her when she is down.
A nice dinner and a movie tonight. I know there will be tears tomorrow morning before she goes but we’ll cross that one when it arrives.
thank you all for stopping me from making things a million times worse!!!

OP posts:
AnneOfBlueStables · 08/06/2025 19:17

You have supported her beautifully OP. It's not easy. I'm sure your dd will find her people.

BeaSure · 08/06/2025 22:43

She’s very diligent and has been revising all day for mocks and doing her ‘Sunday reset’ which involves changing her bedsheets, making her room nice and having a very very long shower

That's great, OP. That she's not letting them negatively affect her self esteem. She knows she deserves to do well in her exams and she deserves a nice environment .

My DD was the same - she aced her exams!

Your DD is going great. And so are you!

Lighteningstrikes · 08/06/2025 23:56

Another mum here for solidarity 💐💪

Rainbowqueeen · 09/06/2025 06:35

Well done OP. Hope tomorrow goes well

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