Most batshit thing you did with your PFB

[Eastie77Returns]

Chatting to friends today about the funniest/craziest/omg what was I thinking things we did with our firstborn DC.

When DD was a few months old she fell out of a small ‘smart’ baby swing that gently rocked her and played music. It was a very small fall onto carpeted floor and she didn’t even cry. I screamed in panic and took her to A&E. But before leaving I took a video of the smart swing so the doctors could see exactly how it rotated and I measured the distance from the floor to the rocker so they had that crucially important information as well. At the hospital I think I asked more than once if she needed a brain scan and huffed and puffed when the nurse gently said no😭 No-one was interested in watching the video either!

I had this with dd (1997)

She was in the buggy and I was talking to someone

The buggy was next to me,facing outwards and I wasn't holding it as the brakes where on and it was right at my hip

My brother saw her and knowing there was a girl he wanted to impress a few meters away,he unstrapped her and wandered off without me noticing

I turned around-no dd

I was just about to phone the police when he came around the corner,happy as he'd managed to get the girls phone number and plopped her back in her buggy

It was all my fault for overreacting when I hit the roof at him

I apparently was 'mental'

I wasn’t able to be overprotective very much as my MIL did most of the heavy lifting there 😆

Except…First pram ride out my husband was pushing our son and I sort of side ran alongside in case of danger. Not sure what danger, hawk attack or bandits maybe.

This is my favourite thread ever! I have giggled so much and completely empathised at the same time. I can't believe the difference in how my first and second DC were looked after in their first year 🙈 I was definitely overly anxious with the first. I remember having a complete panic whilst driving when she was 5 days old because we were stuck in traffic and I read that newborns shouldn't be in their car seats for more than an hour. I'm talking full blown crying almost hyperventilating- we were 10 minutes from home and she'd only been in the seat about 20 mins! Made my partner sit in the back with her from then on 😅

I also remember being utterly consumed by the fact she might have had hip dysplasia because I'd read about the increase in chance with her being a first born girl. She did have unequal leg creases and she did end up being referred for a scan (so GP must have been concerned too) but I would check constantly throughout the day and have so many photos on my phone from all different angles 'showing' one leg longer than the other! She was absolutely bloody fine!!!

permanent until all scans and tests are completed. It is a very low dose. Can only do what consultants tell you to do.

Also (sorry! I'm having flashbacks now!) Not baby related but we had just recently bought our house and moved in 1 week before PFB was born. Being a late autumn baby the weather was often dreadful so we spent a lot of time in the early weeks indoors giving me plenty of time to notice imperfections in the house. I got myself completely and utterly convinced that we had subsidence because some of the plaster/paintwork had hairline cracking. I even had builders come round and check for me and would moan to my partner when they left that they obviously didn't know what they were talking about when they told me everything was fine. I'd go round with a pen marking the xrack and check that it hadn't got bigger.

My kids are now in their 30s. Back in the day, the advice was that you had to have a strict routine otherwise you'd be making a "rod for your own back" to quote my MiL and mother.
So, my baby would be happily asleep and I'd wake her up to give her a bottle. Then she'd be playing and I'd put her up in her cot whether she needed to sleep or not.
Feeding had to take place at 8, 12, 4 and 8 on repeat.

Absolutely batshit!

You’re one of the ones having a good old laugh though. You don’t speak for the ‘other women’. The ones reading and not saying anything whilst they’re worrying and feeling stupid because everyone’s having a laugh about the things they’re doing. Imagine crying because you’re so anxious about an aspect of caring for your newborn and then seeing women online ridiculing it, calling your behaviour ‘batshit’. Just because it doesn’t affect you doesn’t mean it’s not happening.

As I said above, mine is 5 months and I definitely have done and am doing some batshit things. While doom googling something batshit if I came across a thread like this with someone light-heartedly ridiculing said thing it would absolutely make me feel better to know that a) other people have done the same thing and b) their baby was absolutely fine!

Anyway my partner would absolutely already be telling me that I'm overreacting, so the internet would not be the first place I read it 🤣

That’s great for you. Lots of new mums don’t feel the same.

Breastfed wayyy longer than I should have. My nips just aren't cut out for bf but I was determined. Even with lactation consultant and midwives all saying the latch was fine my nipples were raw.

Expressed milk was pink with blood and my baby looked like a vampire after every feed. I literally cried feeding her for weeks and the doctor said she had never seen damage so bad in her 20 years but... breast is best so on I plowed 🤪 stopped at 8 weeks, moved to formula and became a much happier mum and bonding improved greatly but I initially felt I'd failed her.

The second got colostrum then formula from birth! I actually managed to enjoy her first 8 weeks!

Took 1.5 year old to the doctor because I was convinced she had a parasitic worm. She was really hungry all the time and ate loads, but was only on the 2nd centile for weight.

Readers, she did not have a parasitic worm and in fact was just... (drum roll)... growing.

Also called DH at work because I realised I'd given 12 month old DD toast for breakfast AND macaroni cheese for lunch, and BOTH contained salt and should I call 111?

He told me he'd seen a 10 month old eating a packet of Quavers on his way to work that morning, so she'd probably be fine.

I think you were insane lol

Unless you have a gut feeling that they're instruction is wrong.
Always go with your gut.

I’d completely forgotten Bach and Mozart for babies to help them sleep in the small hours. Another one to tick off on the batshit and futile attempts to make PFBs settle and sleep.

😆

In the kindest way possible, I don’t think this is the thread for you.

Nobody is ridiculing new mothers, just people who have been first time mums ridiculing themselves!

If it’s hitting a nerve for you then just block and move on.
The rest of us can look back and laugh at what we did out of love for our babies!

Poor little thing, I always feel absolutely rotten after a course of antibiotics, but thankfully it's very rare I need them!

Aww this is quite sweet. I am imagining baby tapping back in morse code. A little private conversation between you two 😄

I gave my toddler perfectly curated, nutritionally balanced, home cooked meals for ages because I had read about this on the NHS website and was so panicked about not giving him the very best. I cooked them all from scratch (salt -free) and made sure each food group was represented on the plate. They were beautiful meals to look at - I even added a garnish! The snacks were homemade veg fritters/ bran muffins/ quiches where I made the pastry from scratch. I spent half my life in the kitchen.

Did he enjoy them? No!

Half ended up on the floor or he would just eat the bread/ rice/ potatoes and leave everything else. FOR EVERY MEAL!

His favourite food is now chips so not sure why I almost killed myself doing this.

“In the kindest way possible”… it’s a bit like ‘with all due respect’. Always reminds me of this clip

For months I used to write down the time my PFB had her formula and the amount that she had. For my second DD, she tended to feed throughout day so the notebook wasn't needed! I felt as though I was winging it.

If my PFB dropped her dummy, I would sterilise it in the steamer, using tongs to return it to the holder or carefully hold it without touching the end as I didn't want to pass on any germs. For my second DD, if it dropped on the floor, it had a quick wash under the tap and then given back.

I used to take my PFB to the see the health visitor each week for 8 months to be weighed. I have no idea why. I thought that's what you were meant to do. My second DD went approx 6 times.

My PFB went to baby sign language classes at 6 months. I thought it'd help with her speaking later on. She didn't speak until she was two! My second DD didn't stop making sounds from the moment she could, the louder the better and often at an ear piercing level.

I used to set up puzzles and toys for my PFB for her to use the following morning. I did this for months. I tried this for my second DD, but she preferred to be standing on the table on top of the puzzles and toys.

When I look back, I can't believe how much pressure I put myself under.

Get over yourself

That’s what you should do when giving to babies/toddlers as can get lodged in the throat and stops them breathing. 🫤