Holiday dilemma with DC

[Timepoorandpoor]

Only one of my children sees their dad (lots of reasons) and he is inevitably taking that one abroad for a holiday in the summer.

My other children have not had a holiday in many years due to finances.

They are pushing to go abroad whilst DC1 is away with their dad. I have looked and it does bring the price down to “affordable” but it’s sitting really wrong with me.

I feel like I’m saying to that DC1 that I’ve waited until they’ve gone and booked something nice. I know DC1 would love to come on holiday with us all and I think would be incredibly hurt by this (she’s 8) as her relationship with her siblings can be strained due to her volatile behaviour at times and she would feel we’d left her out.

If I’m honest I’m torn with guilt whatever I do. I feel like if I can’t afford for everyone then we don’t go, but in reality I can’t afford for everyone to go.

I feel shit over the holiday situation in general anyway.

Thankyou for all the replies.

I’ve given it a lot of thought and I’m going to see if I can either book something in the UK (I’ve been given some nice place details) or go for a very last minute holiday abroad with all of them when DD comes back.

I am going to book this summer for next summer for all of us, so I can afford something really nice and pay it off.

I will take my 2 that are at home out on a few nice days, but I will see if I can find a weekend trip to somewhere like Prague, which the youngest would hate so they have had a bit of an “away”

I haven’t had a family holiday in years, and I want the first family holiday to involve all of us if I am honest.

Maybe already suggested but would your teens be up for going somewhere organised, camp, for their age group without you?
Some time on your own with the dog? I appreciate you’d still be missing a holiday with them.

I have no idea why my reply was hidden, I love looking for holidays and found a few suggestions. (With different companies).

my suggestion is to search a few companies for your date, there are still free child places and abroad packages for your budget.

I think it’s fine to just go with your teens. She gets a h9liday and so do they.

They also will want to do other things as they are older. It will be much harder pleasing them all on one holiday. This way, they all get the holiday they want.

It’s a bit unfair if your teens don’t get a holiday or if they do, she will get two.

I don’t think you should feel guilty at all - all your kids will be getting a holiday.

Would your teens be up for a city break abroad? Mine enjoyed Barcelona at that age, Malaga was also a hit (cheap flights, and a beach), Berlin, Paris.
I'd take them away on their own in your circumstances.

Are you wanting tips on cheap holidays? Booking a year in advance often isn’t the best way anymore

Is it not??? Blimey, times are changing! What’s the best way to do it? I was just hoping to spread it out somewhat

I’ve found booking October/November for the school holidays has the better deals.

I did book my current holiday (that I’m on now!) in January - £450 each 4* HB on a Greek island. Bargain!

In that case I will start looking then. I did think January might be a good time to book for the summer?

You are doing great, your dc know you love them dearly, you don’t play favourites and have a secure attachment to you.
When a parent plays favourites with children, it causes resentment between siblings, sides to choose and lots of fights.
Your ex is deliberately rubbing the other two’s nose in it and enjoying causing pain, instead of trying to mend bridges with them.
Your youngest is just a victim of her dad’s cruel behaviour as the other two are.
By taking the teens away, you’re stopping his punishment from hurting, you can sit your youngest down and tell her, it’s unfair if she’s the only one to go on holiday. That you love all of them equally but you all deserve to go on holiday.
She may moan about it but as she gets older, she will see you have not acted unfairly nor has she been pushed out. She’s not being punished for going on her holidays with her dad, you’re not saying, we don’t want you there. You are just making sure your other dc don’t miss out on a holiday.

I see a PP already mentioned Eurocamp style holidays. Schools in a lot of European countries go back mid August so the last week of August can drop a lot in price for these sites. Booking direct rather than through Eurocamp can also be cheaper as well. Netherlands also have Centerparcs and Landal sites.

Because OP has said she doesn't have the budget for abroad and that they would like London and a show.

Maybe because he IS a bastard! Not paying CM is really shitty of him and the people that oversee CM need to step up and garnish wages or arrest him for not paying his part.

Like you said, he IS the father of all three, and he is STILL responsible for paying for all three even if two don't want to be around him. After all, he liked the OP enough to procreate and have three children with her, so he doesn't get just the fun parts.

You sound really "lovely". Not.

R u serious??
The child would feel cheated and betrayed

Could you (probably not) go to the same place (maybe the hotel nextdoor so not too close, or whatever) so you're sort of on the same holiday so you can afford to take them to the same holiday... I'm sure that's much too awkward and difficult, but just a potential compromise.

But it would be ok for one child to have a holiday and the other ones not?

Have a look at pgl holidays.
Holidays for kids without the parents.lots of activities to do.
Good company been going years.