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Original poster

One or two hotel rooms for dd when DH's snoring will keep her awake all night

85 replies

Noshadelamp · 29/05/2025 07:03

My DH has surprised my dd (20) with tickets to a musician she's wanted to see for years. DH is driving them to the city and has booked a twin bed hotel room for the night, the same arrangement he has when he takes ds to an event.

However DH snores terribly, like a steam train, ear plugs don't help at all and I sleep in a separate room.

I know dd is grateful for the tickets and trip, but I feel bad for her as I'm sure she won't sleep, even with ear plugs.
She can't afford to pay for a separate room herself.

I'm thinking of paying a separate room for dd but not sure if I'm overreacting.
We don't have loads of money and it will be a push to pay for two rooms but I honestly think it's not fair to dd otherwise.

DH seems to think it's fine for one night but he's not the one who won't sleep!

I can almost guarantee DD won't sleep, I know I wouldn't and me and dh always stay in Airbnbs with two bedrooms.

So what would you do as me or what would you think if you were the dd?

OP posts:
Toomanydogwalks · 29/05/2025 07:07

Book the second room.

pepperminticecream · 29/05/2025 07:09

Book the second room for sure. Your DH needs medical care for his snoring.

Original poster
Noshadelamp · 29/05/2025 07:14

Thank you!

@pepperminticecream I know, he won't do anything though. We've had so many conversations over the years but he refuses, says there's nothing they can do so why bother.

OP posts:

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proximalhumerous · 29/05/2025 07:17

Why does he think your daughter will be able to sleep when he knows you can't? He should have booked an AirBnB.

reluctantbrit · 29/05/2025 07:18

Second room. DH will bring DD to a uni event in Summer and a second room is a no-brainer even without snoring.
At that age no female wants to share with her dad.

faerietales · 29/05/2025 07:20

Definitely a second room. My mum snores horrifically and I always book a second room when we go away!

PrincessOfPreschool · 29/05/2025 07:22

I'm the same with my DH. If we go away just the 2 of us, I sleep in the bath if it's one night only, headphones, thunderstorm on, door shut. Some hotels don't have a bath though. It's bearable for a night and I usually swap around 5am so I can get a couple of hours proper sleep. If your DH is willing to do swap into the bath then by all means stick to one room. If we go on family holidays, poor DS2 has to share with DH but seems able to sleep through.

PrincessOfPreschool · 29/05/2025 07:24

Noshadelamp · 29/05/2025 07:14

Thank you!

@pepperminticecream I know, he won't do anything though. We've had so many conversations over the years but he refuses, says there's nothing they can do so why bother.

Exactly my DH. Finally went to GP. They did the sleep monitoring with all these stickers and a machine for 1 night (to be honest, not sure how deeply he slept). It's not apnoea. So basically they did nothing more.

Helpingabit · 29/05/2025 07:26

If you comfortably have the money (which it sort of sounds like) just book the second room .

however , as it’s only one night , I don’t think it’s the end of the world, but it does sound like it would be miserable for her.

I don’t know if it’s a helpful side note , but my husband has lost just short of three stone since feb , and his snoring has reduced by about 80%

Newbutoldfather · 29/05/2025 07:29

A second room for a healthy 20 year old for one night?!

I am sure she will actually doze a bit at least, and she can nap the next day.

I bet she would happily attend a ball or other similar event that finished at dawn. I am a bad sleeper and obsessed with sleep, but I am middle aged (being nice to myself). At that age, a sleepless night to have fun just wasn’t a big deal.

Ddakji · 29/05/2025 07:33

The second room is the price your DH pays for not seeking medical help for his snoring.

doodleschnoodle · 29/05/2025 07:33

Get her one of these: https://amzn.eu/d/cWhnkHi

Ear plugs in, this over the top with white noise playing. It drowned out three loud snorers in one room at a recent Guides camp I was on. When I went for a pee in night and took it off, I couldn’t believe the sound of them!

CaptainSevenofNine · 29/05/2025 07:33

Save up and send your DH to the dentist for a bespoke mandibular advancement splint. The one my DH wears cost £400. It’s amazing. He rarely snores now and after getting used to the mouth guard (easier name for it!) he sleeps much better too.

BreatheAndFocus · 29/05/2025 07:42

Book a second room! It’s torturous to lie there awake all night listening to someone snore. I’m getting stressed just thinking about it because ex did this. It is impossible to sleep or even doze by a massive snorer. Don’t ruin your DD’s treat. Book another room!

TheCurious0range · 29/05/2025 07:47

DH had always snored a bit but it got worse a few years ago, we tried everything; t shirts with tennis balls sewn into a pocket on the back to stop him back sleeping, (reader he just slept on the tennis ball), snore spray, nasal strips, special pillows, mouth guard, I tried every earplug going. He had the sleep study and it's not apnoea, he was healthy BMI but they said he could lose weight to see if that helps, not long after that he took up a new sport, lost a stone with all the extra exercise so he is now in the bottom half of healthy BMI , he barely snores anymore, unless he's had a lot to drink but that's a couple of times a year so I just decamp to the spare room or he does if he's out without me. Your husband saying there's nothing can be done is nonsense and selfish. Get your daughter the extra room.

Violetparis · 29/05/2025 07:52

Book the second room so the whole experience isn't spoilt.

FlockofSquirrels · 29/05/2025 07:52

Just book the second room so it’s not a concern and she can have some privacy.

But FWIW the snoring may bother her less than it does you. I grew up with a prolific snorer for a father (yes, he’s tried all the stuff to try to help it and seen doctors, no snoring is not always the snorer’s fault) and it seems to have made me immune to the sound, as is my sister. If anything I find it soothing. His wife does not feel the same way unfortunately.

Handmethegunandaskmeagain · 29/05/2025 07:59

I guess there’s two questions I’d ask myself here before I booked a second hotel room:

  1. just because DS shares with your DH when away, doesn’t mean your DD will be comfortable with it. How will she feel as an adult woman sharing a bedroom with her father?

  2. Will she care about not getting much sleep if she doesn’t have plans the following day and isn’t the one driving? I can suck up little/no sleep for one night if I know I can catch up the following day/night. She might not mind that. She might hate it.

faerietales · 29/05/2025 08:00

Newbutoldfather · 29/05/2025 07:29

A second room for a healthy 20 year old for one night?!

I am sure she will actually doze a bit at least, and she can nap the next day.

I bet she would happily attend a ball or other similar event that finished at dawn. I am a bad sleeper and obsessed with sleep, but I am middle aged (being nice to myself). At that age, a sleepless night to have fun just wasn’t a big deal.

Yes - a second room. Lying in the dark listening to someone snort and snore for hours is torturous - my mum is snorer and I refuse to share a room with her as I don’t get a wink of sleep and feel murderous the next day with frustration and tiredness.

Original poster
Noshadelamp · 29/05/2025 08:18

BreatheAndFocus · 29/05/2025 07:42

Book a second room! It’s torturous to lie there awake all night listening to someone snore. I’m getting stressed just thinking about it because ex did this. It is impossible to sleep or even doze by a massive snorer. Don’t ruin your DD’s treat. Book another room!

And @faerietales Yes this is how it feels for me.

I am going to book the second room for her.

My DH is very sensitive about the affect his snoring has on me, he gets very offended if I try and raise the issue, so I'm anticipating him telling me I'm overreacting.

Also he was trying to get the cheapest accomodation option which is obviously one room, which is usually fine for him and ds.
We can afford a second room, he just doesn't want to pay for anything "extra" that he doesn't think is necessary.

Having said all that, yes dd has stayed awake all night at events and parties, and can sleep in the car in the way home, so this is where I was wondering if I'm overthinking it.

OP posts:
Radiatorvalves · 29/05/2025 08:26

I ended up sharing a room with my snoring dad a few years ago. I was 50s, him 70s. It was due to a cock up after a family wedding and misunderstanding about size of air b&b. Double bed too. 😳. I gave up about 4am and dozed on a sofa in another room. Second room a good idea.

Radiatorvalves · 29/05/2025 08:29

PS my dad know he snores and is very sensitive about it - but by that I mean he tries not to sleep anywhere someone might here him. Eg refused (when a bit younger) to go on an overnight sleeper train. If your DH knows he’s a bad snorer he should be more understanding.

yellowsun · 29/05/2025 08:33

doodleschnoodle · 29/05/2025 07:33

Get her one of these: https://amzn.eu/d/cWhnkHi

Ear plugs in, this over the top with white noise playing. It drowned out three loud snorers in one room at a recent Guides camp I was on. When I went for a pee in night and took it off, I couldn’t believe the sound of them!

@doodleschnoodle Is there a function to have noise cancelling without connecting to my phone? I use my phone as an alarm. Thanks.

doodleschnoodle · 29/05/2025 08:34

yellowsun · 29/05/2025 08:33

@doodleschnoodle Is there a function to have noise cancelling without connecting to my phone? I use my phone as an alarm. Thanks.

Show quote history

I don’t think so, they are just headphones really so they need to be connected to something to play sound.

Original poster
Noshadelamp · 29/05/2025 08:37

Radiatorvalves · 29/05/2025 08:29

PS my dad know he snores and is very sensitive about it - but by that I mean he tries not to sleep anywhere someone might here him. Eg refused (when a bit younger) to go on an overnight sleeper train. If your DH knows he’s a bad snorer he should be more understanding.

My dh doesn't seem to care, he wouldn't not go on a sleeper train in your example.

I'm actually dreading telling him I'm booking another room because of his snoring. He will hear it as an "accusation" even though I will say it very matter of fact.

This is why I posted, to be sure I'm not overreacting because I know he's going to say dd should be grateful etc
And she is, this is nothing to do with her, at this point she doesn't even know about the second room, but he will think we've been discussing it and she's being spoilt or a princess.

I'm hoping he thinks about it today after the initial excitement last night and realise himself she should have her own room.

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