Going on holiday - washing left behind?

[Blastandbollocks]

I'll start by saying that I know my expectations are not normal. I had a DM who I loved and I know loved me, but who was a little bit exacting - to say the least.

Holidays are a source of stress for me around cleaning and preparation. Previous family holidays were very much self sufficient - self catering and we took supplies with us; food, clothing for a fortnight, no shopping unless it was for one careful curated souvenir or a post card to send home. The house was cleaned to within an inch of its life, and no clothes left behind to be washed. I have memories of her (and my DF and me) being up at 5am to wash the bedding & PJs, and to tidy, or leaving the night before so we didn't make a mess.

So now, I struggle with "normal". My DH understands why I stress and tries to help, but gets frustrated because I'm putting so much pressure on myself. The issue is that I don't know what is standard to leave behind or what standard to pack, or okay to buy. I still have my DM behind me muttering about being judged if I died and there were PJ's left unclean, or if I forget something that I should just go without and be miserable. Before I could mask as my DS was little so it does tend to be a military operation, but now he's older and self sufficient, it's become really obvious that I'm out of the norm!

Help? What do you do to prepare to go on holidays, what is normal to leave? Calm my panicky brain!

Are you even having a holiday if your last act before locking the door is throwing bleach down the kitchen plug hole?

Seriously, yes I do thoroughly clean and try get laundry done before I go, but I wouldn't worry about a few bits in the baskets to do. Basically, I just try to leave the place so nothing smells musty or bad when I walk through the doors two weeks later.

I don’t know if I’m normal in this regard!

I know after a week away my house will be need airing and dusting so I don’t do that in the week before. I like clean bedding on a couple of days before I go because I know I will be bringing back washing. I like the house to be tidy, fridge and bins emptied and bleach down the toilet.

We change bedding the day before. If the weather is sunny then it’s dried and put away before we go, otherwise it’s on the clothes rack or left in the laundry basket.
Housework is done as it’s nice to come back to a tidy house but if there’s several items of laundry in the basket it’s not an issue.It will be thrown in the machine with the holiday clothes when we do laundry after getting back.
I do hate having to buy things I’ve forgotten as it’s a waste of money and I grew up very poor, that said we forgot DS’s coat one year and it was horrendous weather. It felt a waste to buy one BUT it was a fab coat and he looked great in it so it wasn’t a waste as he needed it. I’ve relaxed a bit since then.

I think your loved ones would be too busy being upset that you’d died to give a toss about your pj’s needing a wash tbh. They wouldn’t even care if you left the sink full of dirty dishes.

Life really is too short to be miserable on holiday so, if you need something and can afford it, buy it.
leave the bed unmade, what’s the worst that could happen?

I always like to come back to a clean house and an near empty laundry basket - but it will be a normal weekly clean which doesn’t take long

The only things to not forget are a credit card and the house keys

OP- do you mean you are cleaning your own home before going away, or the holiday home?

No, I've never done any specific cleaning to my own home before a holiday! I wouldn't leave wet clothes in the washing machine, or dirty washing up etc. I might tidy the table and vac, but I've never felt compelled to do what you are doing op.

Have you considered speaking to your GP about CBT because you seem to have a lot of anxiety about this.

General tidy, make sure there's nothing in the fridge to go off and the veg basket is empty and usually do a last wash the day before we go unless there's only a little bit. If you die and there are PJs unwashed you're not around to hear any criticism so don't let that worry you!

i always make sure my house is clean before I leave. I also change the bedding the day before so we are coming back to fresh clean beds. It’s not that unusual

I'm probably the exact opposite of you when it comes to preparing for a holiday. My focus is totally on what I absolutely need to do to get away i.e.

• Drop cats off at cattery

• Wash and iron holiday clothes

• Pick up the usual last minute travel size cosmetics

• Pack

• Arrange travel insurance

• Apply for European Health Insurance card

• Book my car into the airport car park

• Top up car with petrol and check tyres

• Notify bank that I will be away, so my bank card works abroad

• Empty fridge so I don't find anything festering when I come back

• Check a million times that I've packed my passport

Work is always manic before I go away, because I'm always trying to finish off a million things.

The only thing I do in the house is to run the dishwasher (if there's enough dishes in it to justify running it) or maybe rinse my mug if I've just had a coffee for breakfast, before an early morning flight. Nobody wants to come home to dirty, mouldy dishes. Why would I worry about housework or normal laundry? Time enough for that when I get back. The whole point of a holiday is to have a break from normal routine.

I can recognise some of this - the house had to be "nice to come back to" - hence fanatical amounts of cleaning and tidying to be done before leaving.

Also packing everything, caravan trip to France in the 60s - took endless tinned food including tinned butter (!) - somehow thought we could never buy food there

I change the sheets before we go on holiday as it's nice to come back to fresh linens, and there's enough washing etc to do on your return anyway.
The house is left tidy and reasonably clean.
That is for shorter holidays up to two weeks but we have more issues in January when we go away for a month or so.
As above but in addition DH adjusts the central heating so it stays on but at a low level so the pipes don't freeze, a neigbour comes in and picks up the post so it doesn't pile up on the mat and block the door. They also keep a general eye on the house for us. DH sets up a watering system for the indoor plants and either moves or protects some outdoor ones.
But the car boot is absolutely packed with stuff!

I have quite low standards, but I make sure I'm up to date(ish) with washing so I don't have an even bigger pile when I get home, so will do a load the day before. Will leave it drying on the airer (inside!) if its still damp though. Bins would be emptied, perishables in the fridge disposed of, and dishes cleaned but honestly that's about it. I try to leave the house tidy but with a preschooler and a baby my main priority is making sure we have both kids and everything we need 😆

We self cater too, and will only take things for dinner when we arrive and breakfast the next day, plus things like ketchup/salt that I don't want to double up on. The rest we sort out when we're there.

I just go on holiday with things however they are. So I do a normal amount of cleaning and washing (except things that need to be washed to take with us) in the week before going on holiday.

So if I was going away for a week or more I would-

hoover downstairs
do all pots
empty bins
do most washing but would be fine with the day before clothes/pjs left in the basket
make sure the toilets have been flushed!

a few days I’d be less bothered

Hoover, run the dishwasher, do the bins. Nothing more.

We are going away tomorrow until Friday.
I like to leave the place tidy, but not necessarily spotless.
I have a last load of lights on now and I'll chuck the gym/running gear on once that's done.
There will be clothes from yesterday and today that will be there when we get home and bath towels.
I may change the beds before we sleep in them but depends on what time we get home

It doesn't really matter what others do - there will be an enormous range of what other mumsnetters do. The thing to focus on is what will you be glad you did, when you get back?

So I personally do some laundry (so we will have clean clothes on our return), but I definitely wouldn't empty the laundry hamper.

OP if it's any consolation I too get v v stressed before going on holiday and clean the house excessively. My own mother was the opposite to yours-going on holiday was always extremely chaotic. I think I'm the way I am seeking the opposite of that. I also am doing it for myself, to cushion the blow of returning from holiday.

Awareness is step one. Try and focus what's important to you and your family.

I do the usual before going away (bathroom, hoover, kitchen, floors etc). Even if it’s not a weekend I’ll give them the once over.

bedding I change day before we go so it’s got a week when we get back back but will fall into usual routine of weekend changes when I return.

I don’t worry if I’ve got my PJs from that night in basket or the bedding or any other bits and bobs including underwear.

Bins are emptied day before we go and I just use an old carrier bag I chuck one at out.

I’ll usually chuck some toilet cleaner down before we leave but if I don’t it’s no biggy.

My theory is that I’ll have enough unpacking and washing to do when I return that a clean house means I’ll have more time to do those things.

I like the house being tidy and would aim to get washing through so there wasn’t even more to do when we got back but wouldn’t stress about a few bits.

House is tidy, beds made, bins out and dishwasher put on as we leave so that it’s nice to walk into but I don’t clean it specially.

And Pjs we took off that morning would definitely just be put in laundry baskets.

Exactly, I don't do anything more than I usually would, too stressful for me to be doing extra housework on top of packing etc.

Reading what anyone else does isn't going to make me change what I do, if I wasn't happy I wouldnt be waiting to hear what strangers do before changing

I make sure the house is clean and laundry is done etc. before we go away, I don't think that's particularly abnormal.

I try (try being the operative word here) to have the house vaguely clean and tidy before we go away.

But the main things are washing up to date - but that wouldn’t include the last days clothes and pjs etc - they’d still be in the wash basket. Only because I know I’ll have a load of washing when I get home!

fridge cleared of anything that will go off. Bins emptied. Dishwasher on so no festering dishes.

Thats about it really!

But surely whatever you do a week or two dust builds up - windows are shut so there is always an odd dead insect and a stuffy house that needs to be aired. The washing and unpacking makes it untidy the minute you vet back

Always make sure nothing is in the fridge, windows shut, bins done and all the washing apart from pyjamas is done. Will change bedding/towels a day or two before

I have to say now my kids are teenagers that bit it easier!